a tribute to my laptop...

saying goodbye is never easy... be it to a person, to a childhood memory, to a pet, a teddy bear, a whatever else you hold so dear to your heart...and it's not easy for me to say it to my laptop...
yup,it's broken, or more specifically, its screen is half-blank. and you know laptop... the most expensive parts of it for repair are the screen and the motherboard.over 1000 ringgit nak baiki, baik beli baru. tu pun kalau ada spare partnye, and i've asked. my laptop is five years old and 1 month (and berapa hari ntah) and its screen is those big ones you got a few years ago... spare part is hard to get by, if there is any at all... so there... it's gone... finally... after five years...isk...
my laptop... one of the few things hard for me to say goodbye to...
iyola... dah segala-galanya dicurahkan di situ. first time beli, i think it was on 29th april 2004. second year pharmacy uitm... time tu dah start nak kena buat presentation bertimbun-timbun, dan baru dapat duit tunggakan jpa, so spend it on the best thing ever... a laptop...
dan bukan setakat presentation je yang dibuat di situ... curahan hati... and my first ever finished-but-not-yet-published novel... thesis...curahan hati lagi...second novel attempt.. and third... and forth and fifth... and it's gone...
teringat zaman-zaman bersuka ria main game dynomite, and spongebob and all others... zaman-zaman melayan one tree hill kat screennya yang beso itu, meleleh air mata layan hindustan and other movies...God, i miss those memories... and that laptop shared them with me all the way...isk...
and its one damned good one too. jarang betul buat hal... wireless internet ok je, walaupun tak laju sangat... download lagu pun jalan je...burn lagu pun olrait je... cume kadang-kadang tersekat kalau nak play dvd pirate... tapi tu memang boleh agakla...reboot pun dua kali je dalam 5 tahun ni... first time kat computer lab fakulti, masuk virus.. second time pun sebab masuk virus jugak, by someone yang dah tak bertegur sapa dengan aku...isk, tu lagi satu masalah, tapi malas nak pikiaq dah...
it's hard to say goodbye...damn.. i even called it my baby...
so here it is... a tribute to my laptop... nowhere else to write it to, except at this blog... so i can read it over and over and reminisce old memories...dan untuk siapa-siapa yang terngigau mamai terbaca blog ni, here it is... my curahan hati for my laptop... dear baby, i'm going to miss you so damned much!!

real life of once a pharmacy student:life goes on...

and at the same time...
duk buat citer ni jugak... sequel for the previous one...
gila mantap, konon buat 2 citer dalam satu masa. each tak siap pun lagi 1/10...
tapi yang ni memang purely imagination...
entahla... cukup kuat ke otak nak berfikir semua benda, imagine itu dan ini? cukup kuat ke semangat nak hantar untuk publish bila dan jika sudah siap nanti? cukup kuat ke hati nak menanggung kritikan, tohmahan, pujian orang?
wallahualam...
sungguhla rasa gerun, gentar, nervous, almost to the point of breaking down...
ya Allah, tolongla hamba-Mu ini...

real life of pharmacy students:the drama

tercetuslah sebuah cerita...
bersumber inspirasikan sebuah kisah...
akan sempurnakah sebuah hikayat...
hm...ntahla...
kalau ikutkan hati, ikutkan otak yang duk mengingat itu ini, ikutkan pengaruh buku-buku citer yang tertimbun dah dibaca dan belum dibaca, maybe akan terjadila suatu cerita ini...
tapi entahla... kuatkah diri ini nak meneruskan?tabahkah hati ini nak menerima kritikan?
Wallahualam...
time ni memang rasa berkobar-kobar, dah berangan-angan reaksi kengkawan bila selesai membaca kisah ini, tapi mampuke nak menyempurnakannya?
ya Allah, tolongla hamba-Mu ini...

flightless bird

listening to this song from twilight ost rite now.hm, wondering, if i'm like that... sometimes feeling so restless, yet so trapped by an invisible strand, holding me tightly back. a bird who can't fly...kesian...
but then, even if this bird can fly, it has no direction...yet...
where to go from here... what to do when i get there...will i come back from there...will i stay there or here...
this flightless bird asks these questions over and over...
and yet it still has not found an answer...

dating...

hm, not that i do it often... ni baru first time buat pun, dah terasa tak nak buat dah... yela, i thought i can make friends with a man who can share my thoughts and actually be smarter than me, but then...
aish, rasa macam keluar dengan adik angkat je...
so, points to ponder... blind date seems good, when the guy's mature enough to walk a step behind you, seat you before he sits, and he talks about things that you feel comfortable to talk about and actually have some good points himself. it seems like the definite thing when you can almost feel the chemistry sizzling in the air...and it takes flight from there...
but for the time being, for me, none, zero, nada, nil...
seriously, i admit it now, i'm way too choosy...
tapi salah ke kalau nak at least someone who can speak english with me once in a while, without me cringing at his wrong grammar?
yup, way too picky...heard you...and i don't care...
sue me!
well, at least he paid for the food...hm...

imagination...

hm...imagination...the very thing that helps me to keep on breathing day by day... that keeps me going...what is it, exactly? for me, its kinda simple. imagination, can make you run and hide, can make you stop and ponder your life, can make you smile in the darkest of time...
its definition, unlike its application, is a bit more complex... it can go very broad, as broad as it goes when you're building that castle in the air...
its daydreaming to its highest decree...you can imagine things and it actually happens... that's not daydreaming... you can imagine things and it's impossible to happen, that's daydreaming...
so, as i pinch myself here and there, trying very bruisily (that's not a word, i made it up, to sound even more complex, it just means with bruises) to imagine things and still keep my feet firmly on the ground, i ask myself, what the heck are you trying to do?
i mean, so okay, i daydream, a lot (hence the blog's title), but some i can actually put in writing and it helps to put myself into different perspective. a variety of perspective...i can call myself a writer, i can call myself a dreamer, i can call myself a loner, i can call myself an imaginer (hah, that sounds so like engineer, hehehe, another new word for you), i can call myself a creator... i can call myself me... that's me...
i won't be anywhere without my imagination. i would just be there, doing routines so painstakingly regular and boring and i would die...seriously... that's why i said imagination helps to keep on going...
as much as i blame it for my constant daydreaming, i'm actually thankful for it...i mean, heck, i won't be here if i don't have imagination, see? it inspired me to write this, right?
oh, wait a minute. did i just confuse inspiration with imagination?can they be possibly the same thing?hm...
whatever, inspiration or imagination...i wish i'll have it always...however spaced out it made me be, i think it makes me a bigger person too.it broadens my mind, and helps keep the neurons intact and active, and it's theoretically and scientifically proven that it can decrease the risk of senility (is that even a word? i just meant senile, or nyanyuk)... so there you go...
what more reason do you need to be thankful for it?

pengerusi bukak sebut harga

seriously... macam-macam jawatan pelik yang aku dapat kat hosp baru ni. punyala gerun dengar perkataan pengerusi tu, tapi rupanya kerja cop and sign je... pastu kira...hih, anak sedare aku yang umur 4 tahun pun blh buat. tapi sungguhla, aku dah rasa cukup dah aku menyumbangkan autograph aku ni to last for a lifetime.... senang-senangla, tapi kalut jugak kalau dah ade 4 tender nak ditengok. setiap satu tu ade dalam 7 hingga sebelas different companies, and every different company tu nak kena kira and then cop and sign for about eight pages each... cuba try darab? dah dapat berapa dah autograph i ari ni?mata dah rasa kelabu mamai semacam, tengok tulisan sendiri pun dah rasa macam tulisan alien...
hah, pastu ari kamis ni kena present kat cme pulak... baru dapat tau ari ni pulak tu... memang nak kena cepukla penyelaras tu. kang aku taram present tajuk i really want to sleep rite now baru tahu...
ape nak present ni? treatment h1n1 olrait gak...hm, tengokla nanti...esok mintak leaflet ngan yeo... buat masa ni dah tak tau nak kata ape... mata masih terbayang-bayang signature aku tadi. sungguhla, kalau buat cop signature macam prof bakar tu pun olrait gak... tapi kang disalahguna oleh orang ramai lak, mati aku...
serious dah tak tau nak cakap apa... hm...
aaa...eee...ooo...iii...uu...okayla... dah mamai...ciao!

wedding season...

seriously...sementangla sekarang ni cuti sekolah, sume orang duk taram kawin je ye...
okay, i might want to rephrase that, it sounded way overboard with jealousy, but the heck with it, what if i am truly jealous?
who wouldn't b, when u're in ur mid twenties?but then when i think back, look back and ponder back, i'm not that jealous...
oh, yeah, i do want to find some1 that i will spend the rest of my life with, some1 who can bring back my magic carpet and fly me back into the judith mcnaught's zone, but hey, guess what? i'm not ready...
nope, not yet, and i wouldn't find it weird if it's not ever...
i dunno... it kind of hard 2 tell... everything is up to Him...
i think i'm not ready yet... iyola, calon xdak satu hal... that's kind of my fault, but really, i won't say i'm picky, exactly,or choosy, whatever the term... but then, what do u expect? u want to spend the rest of ur life with a guy u've never known b4... a girl has every right to be choosy and picky and whatever else the term is...and we live in a place where there's hardly a variety of choices to pick from...
i mean its like girl to guy ratio is 4 to 1 or becoming 5 to 1 or sumthing like that...how do u expect us girls to choose? we got our competitions breathing down our necks, circling our waists and stepping us on our heads...how the heck do we choose?
bak kate addin shah dalam aA+bB novel tu, xkan nk kutip je ntah jejaka mane kat tepi2 jalan... tapi dh kat tengah jalan pun dh penuh dgn ladies, sometime a girl will go down to desperate measure...
tapi Alhamdulillah, aku x sampai lagi sedesperate itu... dan mintak2 la xkan terjebak sampai camtu sekali... still waras lagi...
dan memang malas nak pikir pun...
kalau ade, adela...
n anyway, tak terase pun layak diri ni nak buat komitment terbesar dalam hidup tu... iyela, x cukup kriteria lagi ni... domestic chores pun tunggang langgang, banyak yang aci mak buatkan...
masak pun malas, dan most of the time main campak aje ntah ape2, yang basic pun ntah boleh buat ke x...boleh nak jage anak orang camtu?eish...
so, kesimpulannye, even though its wedding season, all the best and congratulation to my fwens who're getting married, i'm happy as i am... and very glad that i can say that without cringing...
i'm happy that i'm single, can do whatever i want and be friends with whomever I choose...
i can enjoy my work, enjoy meeting new people who become friends, enjoy mengarut kat blog ni and enjoy waiting in anticipation for a surprise around the corner...
so, jealous or not i might be,i know there are people out there who's jealous of me enjoying my life rite now...
hahaha... peace out...