Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Things i realised this year...

Okay, i know it has not really been a year yet, with december still 2 days in coming, but well, the idea to write this came to mind when i was speeding through the road from work today, and it's pretty overwhelming then so i decided to just do it. Write it. So, here goes...
Things i realised this year:
1. I'm still not good at voicing out my opinions in details, verbally, i mean. I might get it out in 1 or 2 sentences, then someone said something, and i'll just back away. Yeah, yeah, i could still write them here, i know, clever you, but then not everyone read the junks i wrote here. So it goes without saying that i'm not outspoken, i'm just really, spoken-out. Hey, you got a new vocab there... Hahaha..
2. It's getting hard to update this blog. Heh! As you perhaps noticed it has been a while since i wrote in here, and i'm still keeping true to my principle. I tend to write things that are beneficial to me and to you, readers, because i don't see this blog as my diary or journal where i might write everything that happens to me everyday, i see it as a place for me to speak up, obviously not verbally, as you read in number 1, that i'm still not good at. So this is the tool i use to let you in into what i'm thinking, which isn't a lot lately, hence the lack of updates.
3. I still haven't found the courage to do what i want to do the most. I don't even have the guts to tell you what it is, let alone actually do it, God help me.
4. I like everything that rhymes. To think that i've been writing poems since form five, i should have realised by then that i like rhymes. But i just realised it this year, ten years later (good God, how time flies!). The way i just subconsciously smile when listening to raps or songs or words someone say that rhymes, or reading lyrics or poems or quotes that rhymes. I just love it.
5. It does hurt inside when a friend unfriended you on facebook, how ever ridiculous you believed it to be then, it does, trust me. Well, i guess, i deserved it.
6. I usually find myself trapped in useless conversations and i can't find a way out.
7. I'm such a spoiled, selfish brat. Ha! Actually i realised that a looong time ago and still i haven't improved. :p
8. As a methadone pharmacist, it's actually a good da'wah opportunity. The fact that these patients who come to us everyday, many of them vulnerable, quite a few who really intend to change for the better and all of them are lost. With the right way we can actually help to guide these people to the right path. And there's a bounty of rewards for that, insya Allah. Ironically i realised that AFTER i've passed the job over to a colleague of mine. Heh. May Allah help her and us to use that opportunity to the very best of our abilities. Ameen. :)
10. I'm actually a deep-thinker, but i hardly show it.
11. My eeman is at the lowest level of low. The weakest. Take my recent trip to langkawi, for example. There i was with my friends accompanied by a few college girls on a boat trip. And the girls, young as they are, were busy taking pics, with one girl in particular doing every pose possible with our male navigator watching with a broad smile on his face and occassionally, laughingly encouraging her on. Seeing the clothes the girl was wearing God knows what was playing in the man's mind. I knew it was wrong, i knew it right then that it is wrong for women to do things that can attract men. Exposing your 'aurat, doing seductive poses, even talking in too-soft a tone, to say a few. I knew it, but i didn't say anything. Didn't do anything. I just sat there, watching her, sometimes smiling to cover my awkwardness and there were times when i did laugh along with them. What a weak, weak person i was.
'Dari Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri RA dia berkata : Aku mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda :
“Barang siapa di antara kalian melihat suatu kemungkaran hendaklah ia mengubah dengan tangannya; jika tidak mampu, maka dengan lisannya; jika ia masih tidak mampu, maka dengan hatinya dan itu adalah selemah-lemahnya iman.” (HR. Muslim)'.
At that time i could only say it in my heart. The weakest of eeman. Me being the person who has the say-your-opinion-verbally problem. Go figure. Still trying to upgrade my eeman, insya Allah. Pray for me...
12. I might not be able to fall in love with a man, for the rest of my life. And i'm actually okay with it. Whatever people around me say. In my quest to find the one love that matters, it slowly dawns on me that that love can actually be the ONLY love that matters. His love. What more fullfilling for a creation than to love and be loved by her Creator? :)
So, there goes. I can't find it in my head what more to add... Heed whatever is beneficial, ignore the rest. Thank you.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Rolling in the Deep by Adele, Linkin Park version is cool...



There's a fire in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare

See how I'll leave, with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do
There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling

We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hand
And you played it to the beat

Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one of you and I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Making a home down there as mine sure won't be shared

The scars of your love remind you of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling

We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hand
And you played it to the beat

Could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hand
But you played it with a beating

Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold
You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
It all, it all, it all, it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
Rolling in the deep

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
You had my heart and soul
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
And you played it to the beat

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
Could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
Rolling in the deep

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
You had my heart and soul in your hand
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
But you played it, you played it, you played it to the beat



p/s: tried to attach the linkin park video here with chester singing his own version, but couldn't... Isk!! Will try later... Enjoy the lyrics, they're good.... :)

Friday, November 11, 2011

Why i love One Tree Hill

Considering the fact that i just finished watching season 8 last night, i'm pretty much in a One Tree Hill blues, heh. I've talked about Linkin Park previously, quite mouthful on why i love them so much (btw, congratulation guys for winning best rock for mtv ema!! That's why i love them so much, even after 10 years, they're still going strong!!!!), and back to Tree Hill, seeing that the series is at the top of my indulgence lists on the sidebar, i should really talk/write about why it's there, why i love it so much too..
1. First of all, it's about the strong bond of friendship. Friendship between the girls, between the guys, and between the adults. We see undying loyalty in every main character towards friends, between lucas and haley at the beginning, brooke and peyton, keith and karen, and it expands widely throughout all 8 seasons with new characters. That is a remarkable theme you find so rarely in tv series. But in One Tree Hill, it shows consistently up to the eighth season i've watched just last night... Friendship that never ends between haley and brooke, nathan and mouth, added with between nathan and clay and julian and skills and chase... I always love to see guys who have lots of loyal friends, because your friends define who you are. Who you choose to befriend shows ur inner character, i believe that with all my heart.
2. Then, the series show lovely bond between siblings too, something that is rare to find in a tv series, especially between half-brothers who used to despise each other. Nathan and lucas's relationship is amazingly well-rounded and brilliantly told, that it's a wonder how they got that brilliant idea.
3. And of course, it's about love. But what i love the most about the love they show in Tree Hill is that it's honest love. It lacks scandal and stupid bed scenes, it's just love, pure and simple. And it doesn't focus on just love between a guy and a girl, but also between friends, again, between siblings, and also between parents and their kids. This wide range of love makes the series more fun and filling to watch, instead of just love between guys and girls, which gets pretty boring, if u ask me.
4. It's also a story of a sense of protectiveness. It shows in how lucas is always protective of haley, of nathan when they finally bonded, brooke of peyton, how she helped lucas saved that best friend of hers from getting raped, brooke of her adopted teenager, sam, the adults being protective of the kids, from karen and keith for lucas and nathan, from the coach wiley for his players, and then later from nathan and the rest of his friends for his son jamie. It's amazing to watch that sense of protectiveness never fades up till the latest season.
5. And also, i love the fact that almost every episode starts with brilliant quotes from smart people. Quotes that define each episode and provide an identity of its own to the series. I learn to collect quotes after watching the series, quotes which help me to be a thinker, instead of just a do-er. And that is something valuable you rarely learned from tv series.
6. And yeah, the joking dialogues are funny too. Most of the time, they're told in such a cool, carefree way that it makes it even more hillarious and believable. How funny scenes like when brooke got so drunk that she forgot haley's name, whom she always called Tutor Girl, and named her Brooke, instead, still got me rolling with laughter, doesn't matter how many times i've watched it.
7. The morals in the stories are loadful. How friends should always help each other, like brooke, however naughty she was, she was still the one who helped to hook up haley and nathan in the first place, and as that relationship is still going strong makes it remarkable to watch.
8. The tears, the arguments, the emotions portrayed in the series seem so real that i laughed and cried alongside them. The series tell honest stories, that can happen anywhere, anytime, and that makes it special and again, rare. It's not a stereotype story of upper class people, but a story of even the lowest class of people working their way to the top. And that is one heck of a strong storyline.
9. It's also a story of changing for good. The most prominent example is how Nathan the spoiled playboy became the most loving brother, friend and later husband and father. How amazing it is that his love for Haley makes him a better man than before. And also Brooke the playful playgirl who became such a smart, always kindhearted, talented, protective and loving person. It's always a nice plot, whether it be tv series, movies or novels, when the characters evolve to become better person. In a way, this series help me to become a better person too.
10. The stories also taught me about karma. That good things will happen to good people, and vice versa. How the most villainous of all villains, Dan Scott got what he deserved for what he did. He killed his own brother, and at the end he spend his life alone, without his sons, his wife, or his grandson, or his friends.
11. I have so many, many unforgettable scenes from the series. The drunken Brooke i mentioned earlier. The look on Haley's face when Nathan put the kiddy bracelet on her wrist and then later when he kissed her for the first time with I Dare You to Move song from Switchfoot playing at the background. The look on Nathan's face when Haley sang for the first time. The look on Lucas's face when Nathan deliberately crashed the racing car he was driving to the wall, devastated that Haley had left him. I looked everywhere for the soundtrack for that specific scene, it was Like a Man Possessed. I forgot who sang it. The look on Brooke's face when she adopted the baby girl briefly. The look on Julian's face when Brooke went to him finally. So many i can't simply just write here... Unforgettable scenes with their own lessons to learn.
12. It's a story of growing up, maturing up from high school kids into adults with responsibilities. The stories show how the characters grow and mature, and just like with Linkin Park, i grow up and mature up alongside these people in One Tree Hill as i follow the stories through. And that is something i find so valuable to have as my life goes on.
13. The fact that each character has his/her own personality and identity also makes me love the series more. That is another remarkable trait in a tv series, which i hardly find in others. Peyton with her devil-may-care attitude, kind, minding my own business behaviour and vulnerabilities, despite her trying very hard not to show them. Lucas with his natural good boy, a mother's son character, always protective and positive, a loving son, brother and lover. Brooke with her funny outrageous remarks, smart mind and loving and very protective and very kind to everyone she loves. Nathan with his admirable transformation of bad-boy-turned-good, a loving and dotted husband and father, a strong, hardworking man, and a protective, supportive friend. Haley, who has a mind of her own, her own principle of things which she holds so strongly onto, her remarkable strength and her love for her family and friends. These are the main characters i follow along as they grow up. There are others too, with their own characteristics. Remarkable ones.
14. The fact that these actors, even outside the series are all generally well-behaved shows that the series' wonderful theme taught them a lot too. How they remain good friends outside shooting, even got married in case of chad (lucas) and sophia (brooke) briefly, which makes me really feel like kicking chad's $&@ when they got divorced, but that was as much little scandal you could get from the casts. The rest are just wonderful stories. Chad settles down with his new fiancee, sophia is busy being charitable and eco-friendly all around the world with her new boyfriend and she sure does have a strong voice fighting woman and child abuse. Smart lady, that one. Bethany (Haley) settles down with her husband and new baby girl, james (nathan) enjoying his life but carefully keeping away from bad habits, good boy. Hillary (peyton) settles somewhere too. It's just, you hardly hear any scandalous stories about the casts of One Tree Hill and that is saying something. That reflects back on the series and shows that it succeeds in promoting good things, instead of bad ones.
15. And yeah, a story with sport as it's main theme is always interesting to watch. And they do play one heck of basketball games. :)
16. Last but definitely not the least, they have cool songs. One more thing unique about One Tree Hill is that it promotes singing artists that we sometimes never even heard of. And they're good too. Amazing, actually. I tried to collect soundtracks from the series because they all sound wonderful, and bethany joy galeotti really CAN sing. She's very good. The fact that peyton's red bedroom turned into a cool studio with artists flowing from it is something u don't get from any other series. And the song I Don't Wanna Be, Gavin DeGraw suits the series so well, it might as well become phenomenally evergreen.

All in all, this is it. The series, the storylines, the quotes, the casts with their amazing characters and characteristics, the laughter, the tears, the songs are all wonderfully created that i fall in love with them all. Like the word 'Fortitude' Clay chose for his agency, it actually describes the whole of One Tree Hill. Fortitude is a strong word with a strong meaning and these group of people, these 'unkindness of ravens' in One Tree Hill do have their own 'fortitude', their own strength, that makes them different from any other series, and that... is why i love it so much. :)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Stronger

Ooh, hey, yeah hush,
just stop
There's nothing you can do or say, baby
I've had enough
I'm not your property
As from today, baby
You might think that
I won't make it on my own
But now I’m
Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
I am stronger
Than I ever thought
That I could be, baby
I used to go with the flow
Didn't really care ‘bout me
You might think that
I can’t take it but you’re wrong
'Cause now I’m
Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
I am stronger
Come on now
Oh, yeah
Here I go, on my own
I don’t need nobody, better off alone
Here I go, on my own, now
I don’t need nobody, not anybody
Here I go
Alright
Here I go
Stronger than yesterday
It's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
I am stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
Now I am stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
Iam stronger

P/s: even britney spears used to have the time when the lyrics of her song were inspiring... ;)