tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68431196688418924402024-03-07T04:01:47.900+08:00Rod's bubble of babbles...my thoughts, my opinions, my many voices, my views, my experiences, my lessons, my education, my interests, my many passions...rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.comBlogger105125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-5991680847981511862013-03-10T21:58:00.000+08:002013-03-10T21:58:46.063+08:00<div style="width:400px; position: relative;">
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5%??? hmm... needs to travel more, since it is my passion and all... ;)rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-62062968307287049662013-03-08T19:19:00.001+08:002013-03-08T19:19:27.497+08:00It's been a while...Yeah, i know...<br />
It's been a while since i last wrote. Actually, it's been a while since i last 'visited' here. I guess i got scared. Scared of reading old posts and finding myself with tears. That's it. I was scared.<br />
But somehow today, i finally stopped here. Read back a few posts randomly and read a few blogs i followed, catching up on their news. <br />
And then i'm not scared anymore.<br />
Things have changed a lot since the last time. Moving on isn't easy but i find myself doing that every day. Day after day after day...<br />
Things around me have changed. Improved, even. <br />
I've walked out of my comfort zone starting last december and here i am at a new workplace. Actually, an old-become-new workplace. I've worked here before. But being a junior and senior has its differences...<br />
I even find myself with a new profession starting early february.. The thing that i could not even find the courage to tell u . I finally did it. <br />
I published a book. Alhamdulillah...<br />
I'll tell u all about it on the next post, okay? :)rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-70742475603540107632012-09-21T16:34:00.001+08:002012-09-21T16:34:24.769+08:00I miss himI made the mistake of opening my father's closet today. <br />
Awashed by the smell of his favourite perfume still lingered there, i stared at his baju melayu's hanging in there, while images came crossing my mind. An image of him in one of those baju melayu's, the turqouise one that he used to marry off his elder three daughters. An image of him in the other ones, smiling at me as he prepared for Jumaat prayer, always going to the mosque earlier than everyone else, smelling of the musky smell of that perfume he loved so much.<br />
Images after images after images... And the tears came without warning. <br />
Can't stop it. Still can't stop it after 7 months...<br />
I miss him. Terribly much. <br />
Al-Fatihah...rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-60967359986892941022012-07-06T00:30:00.001+08:002012-07-07T14:38:03.637+08:00Roads Untraveled'Weep not for roads untraveled,<br />
Weep not for paths left alone,<br />
Cause beyond every bend,<br />
Is a long blinding end,<br />
It's the worst kind of pain I've known.<br />
<br />
Give up your heart left unbroken,<br />
And let that mistake pass on,<br />
Cause the love that you lost,<br />
Wasn't worth what it cost,<br />
And in time you'll be glad it's gone.<br />
<br />
Weep not for roads untraveled,<br />
Weep not for sights unseen,<br />
May your love never end,<br />
And if you need a friend,<br />
There's a seat here alongside me.'<br />
<br />
~ Linkin Park, Living Things, 2012.rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-45219608438807285392012-04-14T21:35:00.001+08:002012-04-15T00:24:31.689+08:00Abah...I remember that time when i sat alone in my car, staring into nothingness, waiting for that plane to take off... With tears flowing nonstop down my cheeks. I didn't know or understand why the tears came then, but i do now.<br />
Because i remember another time before that, i was staring at them as they sat, patiently waiting for the final boarding call. The rest of the passengers walked past them. They should be the last to board. He couldn't walk the short distance to the plane door, you see, so a wheelchair was waiting besides him. I watched as he slowly stood up and sat on the wheelchair and the airport guy wheeled him slowly forward, with my mother close besides him. And that was the last time i saw him alive.<br />
That was the reason for the tears. <br />
Somehow, someway, back then, i knew but didn't realise.<br />
Days passed, tears came, tears went, and i found a message on his sent item folder that made me laugh and cry at the same time. It was a message he sent a few months ago to my mom when it was just me and him at home, my mom had to take care of my sis who had just given birth; <br />
'As'kum Nah, baru lepas makan 2 beranak. Anak suruh abah basuh pinggan. Hahahaha! Anak.'<br />
That 'anak' in the message was me. Yes, i asked him to wash the dishes that night. But i didn't know he told my mother about it and laughed about it. The unconditional love of a parent. You find it in unexpected ways, most of the time.<br />
I miss making him laugh. Even when i didn't know i did it. <br />
I miss the jasmine buds he liked to put on my bed. I would let them bloom and dry up there before i threw them away. I miss his teasing and his jokes. I miss the sound of his voice when he recited the Qur'an after Subuh.<br />
I miss him. So much.<br />
Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, rahmatilah roh abah. Ampunilah dosa-dosanya... Lindungilah dia dari azab kubur-Mu, ya Allah, sayangilah dia... Amin...<br />
Al-fatihah...<br />
'Dengan nama Allah yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Segala puji-pujian bagi Allah, Tuhan sekalian alam. Yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Yang menguasai hari pembalasan. Kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami sembah, kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami mohon pertolongan. Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus. Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau anugerahkan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan jalan mereka yang Engkau murkai, dan bukan pula jalan mereka yang sesat.'rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-9530643714381585372011-12-30T17:09:00.001+08:002011-12-30T18:20:17.972+08:00Books into movies or dramasP/s: err... I know. Bad handwriting. Hanging mid-babble. (i'm talking about the pic down under which supposed to be up here. Oh, well...) Here's what i was actually babbling about;<br />
So, i just recently watched Ombak Rindu last night. Granted, i didn't go to the movies, but someone uploaded the full movie on facebook so i watched it. Haha!<br />
And i understood the writer's dissappoinment in it.<br />
I don't remember when i actually read the book, let alone its storyline. I just remember i skipped quite a few pages. Too emotional for me. But, that's what moves you when reading. The authors' abilities to describe emotions. However, nothing moved me last night when i watched the movie.<br />
I think it is rather insulting to us writers, either the struggling ones (like me) or the accomplished ones (like ombak rindu's author) when the story we put so much efforts into (YOU HAVE NO IDEA) to be portrayed on screen with such careless ways.<br />
I think the only stories quite successfully be transformed into movies were the Harry Potter series. Even then, there were some parts in the movies that the audiences won't understand if they didn't read the books. That i observed from my own experiences having to answer my nephew's continuous questions after we watched the last part of the franchise. But then, maybe that's the whole idea. People who haven't yet read the books, when they watched the movies might want to begin reading them. More profit to the author.<br />
Sadly for me, though, i didn't feel like reading Ombak Rindu again after i watched the movie last night. And that is pretty upsetting if you're the writer. Imagine that.<br />
Even if (or to be more positive, even WHEN) i get the chance to publish my stories, i don't ever want them to be translated into movies or dramas.<br />
We write stories, we put our hearts and souls into it, we breathe our hopes into it to be meaningful to someone. To be something someone can learn from.<br />
Making books into movies or dramas is a big responsibility. HUGE. don't look down on it. Do not belittle the ideas behind the stories. Some small scenes in books might mean big thing to someone. Especially the writers.<br />
Do not sidesweep the author. You don't have her/his brain.<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf6KICY3hI0ax9IKGga2sQ2oOMuF7wSyxmAI7vS5MfMaJw1aHK9e3q_jZdQB7ryBZ8Af6r0nMlyoMDy_tP5lwdiu7x7k7mVcoMNOcWQGWQpnYsL4RnSBdPDfxXjwRhzqgW4YJKF9RFTlM/s640/blogger-image-1781292252.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf6KICY3hI0ax9IKGga2sQ2oOMuF7wSyxmAI7vS5MfMaJw1aHK9e3q_jZdQB7ryBZ8Af6r0nMlyoMDy_tP5lwdiu7x7k7mVcoMNOcWQGWQpnYsL4RnSBdPDfxXjwRhzqgW4YJKF9RFTlM/s640/blogger-image-1781292252.jpg" /></a></div>rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-67504955524570391072011-12-24T21:22:00.001+08:002011-12-24T21:23:39.291+08:00Me these days...<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7UhFIBb0Kf0DEwWTv4oVllFn_mV0GUzxRWmYfH41GWPW56XQetyJlvBHqBmhNhiFYPjQOFoKBa3OgRuRFZefO0XmQ6iZFXNIzcrjMydMqCqeKV3WCR1YKa_6XpAfETAbO1OnaKTLSVSc/s640/blogger-image-564554416.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7UhFIBb0Kf0DEwWTv4oVllFn_mV0GUzxRWmYfH41GWPW56XQetyJlvBHqBmhNhiFYPjQOFoKBa3OgRuRFZefO0XmQ6iZFXNIzcrjMydMqCqeKV3WCR1YKa_6XpAfETAbO1OnaKTLSVSc/s640/blogger-image-564554416.jpg" /></a></div>rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-80344627893361696902011-12-07T19:33:00.001+08:002011-12-07T22:15:52.455+08:00This one is for you...I know how hopeless it feels, <br />
When someone you love is sick,<br />
And you don't know what to do.<br />
I know how it hurts deep inside,<br />
When someone you love is in pain,<br />
And you have no idea how to help.<br />
But i don't know how it feels,<br />
When you lost that someone you love,<br />
And they will never come back.<br />
Though i had dreamed it to happen to me, i never want it to happen to you.<br />
I'm sorry you have to go through that now.<br />
I'm so sorry we broke off the way we did,<br />
And thus i can't be there to comfort you as a friend should.<br />
I'm so sorry for the fact that we're no longer speaking,<br />
And i can't say to you the soothing words you need right now.<br />
Here i am, writing this for you.<br />
Be strong, i know you are.<br />
But, do cry, because it helps to cleanse the soul, and it helps to bring back your smile.<br />
Believe in your heart that he is at a better place now, and insya Allah, he is.<br />
Always remember him in your prayers, ask Allah to forgive his sins and bless him with His merciful Blessings. Always. Insya Allah.<br />
I know you have to be strong for your family,<br />
But at times, do take a deep breath, and let the tears flow when they come.<br />
Tears are not meant to be swallowed, they are meant to be released.<br />
And yes, you'll be stronger after, Allah willing.<br />
And yes, i will still be here.<br />
Al-Fatihah for him, whom i knew, meant everything to you.<br />
'Dengan nama Allah yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Segala puji-pujian bagi Allah, Tuhan sekalian alam. Yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Yang menguasai hari pembalasan. Kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami sembah, kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami mohon pertolongan. Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus. Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau anugerahkan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan jalan mereka yang Engkau murkai, dan bukan pula jalan mereka yang sesat.'<br />
Amiin, ya Rabb...<br />
rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-43602289589694184782011-12-01T21:49:00.001+08:002011-12-02T13:21:22.837+08:00Seadanya... being the operative wordA conversation occured just now in a session in ustazah pilihan when the finalists went to thailand and interviewed a few couples who got married there for various reasons... (words slightly changed, i can't remember the exact words they said):<br />
"Finalist ustazah: jadinya kenapa anda berdua berkahwin di sini, tidak di malaysia?<br />
Lelaki: isteri pertama saya tak bagi.<br />
(he was suspiciously young, probably still in midtwenties).<br />
Perempuan: ibu bapa saya x restu. Kami dah berkawan 7 tahun, tapi mereka x tau kami menjalankan hubungan yang serius. Bila kami nak kahwin, mereka x bg. Apatah lagi bila mereka tau dia dah beristeri.<br />
Finalist ustazah: apa perancangan kamu nanti? Adakah akan terus merahsiakan perkahwinan ini?<br />
Perempuan: kami akan bagitau, slow2 pada ibu bapa. Saya nak family saya terima suami saya 'seadanya'."<br />
There.<br />
Seadanya. The word sounds simple enough, thrown in so commonly in conversations, i don't think people saying it even know what it really means. <br />
'aku sayang dia, aku rela terima dia seadanya'. <br />
'aku harap family aku boleh terima dia seadanya. Aku sayang sangat kat dia walaupun dia jahat macam tu'. <br />
S.E.A.D.A.N.Y.A.<br />
What does it really mean, anyway?<br />
Seadanya atau untuk dienglishkan, accepting he/she as he/she is. Romantically viewed as loving someone so great you accept everything about him/her, flaws and goodness all in one.<br />
But, in view of above situations, i personally think that being that romantic, using the word 'seadanya' operatively, can cause your life, blind you with witless passion and turn your back on your own parents, whose blessings are His Blessings. And so, when you turn your back on our Creator's Blessings, what will you get in your life?<br />
I'm afraid it will be nothing but suffering and corruptions of both, marriage and family institutions, which happen so commonly nowadays, it's frightening.<br />
Think about that before you say words so easily said without actual meaning. Choose wisely the words to say, choose wisely who do you want to spend the rest of your life with. Think. That's all i ask. Wallahualam. rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-6530534771294571052011-11-29T19:24:00.001+08:002011-11-29T22:30:36.021+08:00Things i realised this year...Okay, i know it has not really been a year yet, with december still 2 days in coming, but well, the idea to write this came to mind when i was speeding through the road from work today, and it's pretty overwhelming then so i decided to just do it. Write it. So, here goes... <br />
Things i realised this year:<br />
1. I'm still not good at voicing out my opinions in details, verbally, i mean. I might get it out in 1 or 2 sentences, then someone said something, and i'll just back away. Yeah, yeah, i could still write them here, i know, clever you, but then not everyone read the junks i wrote here. So it goes without saying that i'm not outspoken, i'm just really, spoken-out. Hey, you got a new vocab there... Hahaha..<br />
2. It's getting hard to update this blog. Heh! As you perhaps noticed it has been a while since i wrote in here, and i'm still keeping true to my principle. I tend to write things that are beneficial to me and to you, readers, because i don't see this blog as my diary or journal where i might write everything that happens to me everyday, i see it as a place for me to speak up, obviously not verbally, as you read in number 1, that i'm still not good at. So this is the tool i use to let you in into what i'm thinking, which isn't a lot lately, hence the lack of updates.<br />
3. I still haven't found the courage to do what i want to do the most. I don't even have the guts to tell you what it is, let alone actually do it, God help me.<br />
4. I like everything that rhymes. To think that i've been writing poems since form five, i should have realised by then that i like rhymes. But i just realised it this year, ten years later (good God, how time flies!). The way i just subconsciously smile when listening to raps or songs or words someone say that rhymes, or reading lyrics or poems or quotes that rhymes. I just love it.<br />
5. It does hurt inside when a friend unfriended you on facebook, how ever ridiculous you believed it to be then, it does, trust me. Well, i guess, i deserved it.<br />
6. I usually find myself trapped in useless conversations and i can't find a way out.<br />
7. I'm such a spoiled, selfish brat. Ha! Actually i realised that a looong time ago and still i haven't improved. :p<br />
8. As a methadone pharmacist, it's actually a good da'wah opportunity. The fact that these patients who come to us everyday, many of them vulnerable, quite a few who really intend to change for the better and all of them are lost. With the right way we can actually help to guide these people to the right path. And there's a bounty of rewards for that, insya Allah. Ironically i realised that AFTER i've passed the job over to a colleague of mine. Heh. May Allah help her and us to use that opportunity to the very best of our abilities. Ameen. :)<br />
10. I'm actually a deep-thinker, but i hardly show it.<br />
11. My eeman is at the lowest level of low. The weakest. Take my recent trip to langkawi, for example. There i was with my friends accompanied by a few college girls on a boat trip. And the girls, young as they are, were busy taking pics, with one girl in particular doing every pose possible with our male navigator watching with a broad smile on his face and occassionally, laughingly encouraging her on. Seeing the clothes the girl was wearing God knows what was playing in the man's mind. I knew it was wrong, i knew it right then that it is wrong for women to do things that can attract men. Exposing your 'aurat, doing seductive poses, even talking in too-soft a tone, to say a few. I knew it, but i didn't say anything. Didn't do anything. I just sat there, watching her, sometimes smiling to cover my awkwardness and there were times when i did laugh along with them. What a weak, weak person i was.<br />
'Dari Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri RA dia berkata : Aku mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda :<br />
“Barang siapa di antara kalian melihat suatu kemungkaran hendaklah ia mengubah dengan tangannya; jika tidak mampu, maka dengan lisannya; jika ia masih tidak mampu, maka dengan hatinya dan itu adalah selemah-lemahnya iman.” (HR. Muslim)'.<br />
At that time i could only say it in my heart. The weakest of eeman. Me being the person who has the say-your-opinion-verbally problem. Go figure. Still trying to upgrade my eeman, insya Allah. Pray for me...<br />
12. I might not be able to fall in love with a man, for the rest of my life. And i'm actually okay with it. Whatever people around me say. In my quest to find the one love that matters, it slowly dawns on me that that love can actually be the ONLY love that matters. His love. What more fullfilling for a creation than to love and be loved by her Creator? :)<br />
So, there goes. I can't find it in my head what more to add... Heed whatever is beneficial, ignore the rest. Thank you.<br />
<br />
rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-87660316027482647552011-11-12T13:40:00.001+08:002011-11-16T22:14:30.916+08:00Rolling in the Deep by Adele, Linkin Park version is cool...<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMslOMQxcF8&feature=youtube_gdata_player"></a><br />
<br />
<i>There's a fire in my heart<br />
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark<br />
Finally I can see you crystal clear<br />
Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare<br />
<br />
See how I'll leave, with every piece of you<br />
Don't underestimate the things that I will do<br />
There's a fire starting in my heart<br />
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark<br />
<br />
The scars of your love remind me of us<br />
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all<br />
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless<br />
I can't help feeling<br />
<br />
We could have had it all<br />
Rolling in the deep<br />
You had my heart inside your hand<br />
And you played it to the beat<br />
<br />
Baby, I have no story to be told<br />
But I've heard one of you and I'm gonna make your head burn<br />
Think of me in the depths of your despair<br />
Making a home down there as mine sure won't be shared<br />
<br />
The scars of your love remind you of us<br />
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all<br />
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless<br />
I can't help feeling<br />
<br />
We could have had it all<br />
Rolling in the deep<br />
You had my heart inside your hand<br />
And you played it to the beat<br />
<br />
Could have had it all<br />
Rolling in the deep<br />
You had my heart inside your hand<br />
But you played it with a beating<br />
<br />
Throw your soul through every open door<br />
Count your blessings to find what you look for<br />
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold<br />
You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow<br />
<br />
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)<br />
We could have had it all<br />
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br />
We could have had it all<br />
<br />
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)<br />
It all, it all, it all, it all<br />
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br />
<br />
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)<br />
We could have had it all<br />
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br />
Rolling in the deep<br />
<br />
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)<br />
You had my heart and soul<br />
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br />
And you played it to the beat<br />
<br />
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)<br />
Could have had it all<br />
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br />
Rolling in the deep<br />
<br />
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)<br />
You had my heart and soul in your hand<br />
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br />
But you played it, you played it, you played it to the beat<br />
<br />
</i><br />
<br />
p/s: tried to attach the linkin park video here with chester singing his own version, but couldn't... Isk!! Will try later... Enjoy the lyrics, they're good.... :)rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-70367340919210538682011-11-11T15:18:00.001+08:002011-11-11T19:29:22.559+08:00Why i love One Tree HillConsidering the fact that i just finished watching season 8 last night, i'm pretty much in a One Tree Hill blues, heh. I've talked about Linkin Park previously, quite mouthful on why i love them so much (btw, congratulation guys for winning best rock for mtv ema!! That's why i love them so much, even after 10 years, they're still going strong!!!!), and back to Tree Hill, seeing that the series is at the top of my indulgence lists on the sidebar, i should really talk/write about why it's there, why i love it so much too..<br />
1. First of all, it's about the strong bond of friendship. Friendship between the girls, between the guys, and between the adults. We see undying loyalty in every main character towards friends, between lucas and haley at the beginning, brooke and peyton, keith and karen, and it expands widely throughout all 8 seasons with new characters. That is a remarkable theme you find so rarely in tv series. But in One Tree Hill, it shows consistently up to the eighth season i've watched just last night... Friendship that never ends between haley and brooke, nathan and mouth, added with between nathan and clay and julian and skills and chase... I always love to see guys who have lots of loyal friends, because your friends define who you are. Who you choose to befriend shows ur inner character, i believe that with all my heart.<br />
2. Then, the series show lovely bond between siblings too, something that is rare to find in a tv series, especially between half-brothers who used to despise each other. Nathan and lucas's relationship is amazingly well-rounded and brilliantly told, that it's a wonder how they got that brilliant idea.<br />
3. And of course, it's about love. But what i love the most about the love they show in Tree Hill is that it's honest love. It lacks scandal and stupid bed scenes, it's just love, pure and simple. And it doesn't focus on just love between a guy and a girl, but also between friends, again, between siblings, and also between parents and their kids. This wide range of love makes the series more fun and filling to watch, instead of just love between guys and girls, which gets pretty boring, if u ask me.<br />
4. It's also a story of a sense of protectiveness. It shows in how lucas is always protective of haley, of nathan when they finally bonded, brooke of peyton, how she helped lucas saved that best friend of hers from getting raped, brooke of her adopted teenager, sam, the adults being protective of the kids, from karen and keith for lucas and nathan, from the coach wiley for his players, and then later from nathan and the rest of his friends for his son jamie. It's amazing to watch that sense of protectiveness never fades up till the latest season.<br />
5. And also, i love the fact that almost every episode starts with brilliant quotes from smart people. Quotes that define each episode and provide an identity of its own to the series. I learn to collect quotes after watching the series, quotes which help me to be a thinker, instead of just a do-er. And that is something valuable you rarely learned from tv series.<br />
6. And yeah, the joking dialogues are funny too. Most of the time, they're told in such a cool, carefree way that it makes it even more hillarious and believable. How funny scenes like when brooke got so drunk that she forgot haley's name, whom she always called Tutor Girl, and named her Brooke, instead, still got me rolling with laughter, doesn't matter how many times i've watched it.<br />
7. The morals in the stories are loadful. How friends should always help each other, like brooke, however naughty she was, she was still the one who helped to hook up haley and nathan in the first place, and as that relationship is still going strong makes it remarkable to watch.<br />
8. The tears, the arguments, the emotions portrayed in the series seem so real that i laughed and cried alongside them. The series tell honest stories, that can happen anywhere, anytime, and that makes it special and again, rare. It's not a stereotype story of upper class people, but a story of even the lowest class of people working their way to the top. And that is one heck of a strong storyline.<br />
9. It's also a story of changing for good. The most prominent example is how Nathan the spoiled playboy became the most loving brother, friend and later husband and father. How amazing it is that his love for Haley makes him a better man than before. And also Brooke the playful playgirl who became such a smart, always kindhearted, talented, protective and loving person. It's always a nice plot, whether it be tv series, movies or novels, when the characters evolve to become better person. In a way, this series help me to become a better person too.<br />
10. The stories also taught me about karma. That good things will happen to good people, and vice versa. How the most villainous of all villains, Dan Scott got what he deserved for what he did. He killed his own brother, and at the end he spend his life alone, without his sons, his wife, or his grandson, or his friends.<br />
11. I have so many, many unforgettable scenes from the series. The drunken Brooke i mentioned earlier. The look on Haley's face when Nathan put the kiddy bracelet on her wrist and then later when he kissed her for the first time with I Dare You to Move song from Switchfoot playing at the background. The look on Nathan's face when Haley sang for the first time. The look on Lucas's face when Nathan deliberately crashed the racing car he was driving to the wall, devastated that Haley had left him. I looked everywhere for the soundtrack for that specific scene, it was Like a Man Possessed. I forgot who sang it. The look on Brooke's face when she adopted the baby girl briefly. The look on Julian's face when Brooke went to him finally. So many i can't simply just write here... Unforgettable scenes with their own lessons to learn.<br />
12. It's a story of growing up, maturing up from high school kids into adults with responsibilities. The stories show how the characters grow and mature, and just like with Linkin Park, i grow up and mature up alongside these people in One Tree Hill as i follow the stories through. And that is something i find so valuable to have as my life goes on.<br />
13. The fact that each character has his/her own personality and identity also makes me love the series more. That is another remarkable trait in a tv series, which i hardly find in others. Peyton with her devil-may-care attitude, kind, minding my own business behaviour and vulnerabilities, despite her trying very hard not to show them. Lucas with his natural good boy, a mother's son character, always protective and positive, a loving son, brother and lover. Brooke with her funny outrageous remarks, smart mind and loving and very protective and very kind to everyone she loves. Nathan with his admirable transformation of bad-boy-turned-good, a loving and dotted husband and father, a strong, hardworking man, and a protective, supportive friend. Haley, who has a mind of her own, her own principle of things which she holds so strongly onto, her remarkable strength and her love for her family and friends. These are the main characters i follow along as they grow up. There are others too, with their own characteristics. Remarkable ones.<br />
14. The fact that these actors, even outside the series are all generally well-behaved shows that the series' wonderful theme taught them a lot too. How they remain good friends outside shooting, even got married in case of chad (lucas) and sophia (brooke) briefly, which makes me really feel like kicking chad's $&@ when they got divorced, but that was as much little scandal you could get from the casts. The rest are just wonderful stories. Chad settles down with his new fiancee, sophia is busy being charitable and eco-friendly all around the world with her new boyfriend and she sure does have a strong voice fighting woman and child abuse. Smart lady, that one. Bethany (Haley) settles down with her husband and new baby girl, james (nathan) enjoying his life but carefully keeping away from bad habits, good boy. Hillary (peyton) settles somewhere too. It's just, you hardly hear any scandalous stories about the casts of One Tree Hill and that is saying something. That reflects back on the series and shows that it succeeds in promoting good things, instead of bad ones.<br />
15. And yeah, a story with sport as it's main theme is always interesting to watch. And they do play one heck of basketball games. :)<br />
16. Last but definitely not the least, they have cool songs. One more thing unique about One Tree Hill is that it promotes singing artists that we sometimes never even heard of. And they're good too. Amazing, actually. I tried to collect soundtracks from the series because they all sound wonderful, and bethany joy galeotti really CAN sing. She's very good. The fact that peyton's red bedroom turned into a cool studio with artists flowing from it is something u don't get from any other series. And the song I Don't Wanna Be, Gavin DeGraw suits the series so well, it might as well become phenomenally evergreen.<br />
<br />
All in all, this is it. The series, the storylines, the quotes, the casts with their amazing characters and characteristics, the laughter, the tears, the songs are all wonderfully created that i fall in love with them all. Like the word 'Fortitude' Clay chose for his agency, it actually describes the whole of One Tree Hill. Fortitude is a strong word with a strong meaning and these group of people, these 'unkindness of ravens' in One Tree Hill do have their own 'fortitude', their own strength, that makes them different from any other series, and that... is why i love it so much. :)rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-61388350841062166262011-11-10T22:39:00.000+08:002011-11-10T22:54:35.452+08:00StrongerOoh, hey, yeah hush,<br />
just stop<br />
There's nothing you can do or say, baby<br />
I've had enough<br />
I'm not your property<br />
As from today, baby<br />
You might think that<br />
I won't make it on my own<br />
But now I’m<br />
Stronger than yesterday<br />
Now it’s nothing but my way<br />
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more<br />
I am stronger<br />
Than I ever thought<br />
That I could be, baby<br />
I used to go with the flow<br />
Didn't really care ‘bout me<br />
You might think that<br />
I can’t take it but you’re wrong<br />
'Cause now I’m<br />
Stronger than yesterday<br />
Now it’s nothing but my way<br />
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more<br />
I am stronger<br />
Come on now<br />
Oh, yeah<br />
Here I go, on my own<br />
I don’t need nobody, better off alone<br />
Here I go, on my own, now<br />
I don’t need nobody, not anybody<br />
Here I go<br />
Alright<br />
Here I go<br />
Stronger than yesterday<br />
It's nothing but my way<br />
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more<br />
I am stronger than yesterday<br />
Now it’s nothing but my way<br />
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more<br />
Now I am stronger than yesterday<br />
Now it’s nothing but my way<br />
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more<br />
Iam stronger<br />
<br />
P/s: even britney spears used to have the time when the lyrics of her song were inspiring... ;)rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-24211876479882111802011-10-07T23:12:00.004+08:002011-10-08T00:04:40.641+08:00City SistersI stumbled upon this series today, aired on tvalhijrah at 12noon. it was already half an hour through when i flipped to the channel after finished watching usrah on tv9 with my mother. the series include a group of muslimah from united kingdoms, gathered together, beautifully attired and completely covered in abayas and scarves, talking and discussing about these days issues, especially concerning muslimah all around the world. today's issue was a bit hazy to me since i watched it in the middle, but towards the end they did some recap of previous episodes and i got the general idea. they discussed women, islam and they bring in new members too. even new sisters who just recently converted into islam.<br />i got interested to know more about the show, so i 'yahooed' it, heh. i found the official website <a href="http://www.islamchannel.tv/citysisters/index.aspx">here</a>: <br /><a href="http://www.islamchannel.tv/citysisters/index.aspx"></a><br />as i browsed through the website, i found out that this show's presenters came from different walks of life, from single women to married ones with families and jobs and different obligations and races. however, all of them shared the common similarity which is they are all muslims, and they are there to share and voice out their knowledges and opinions regarding islam. quite exraordinary when reading the audiences' comments regarding the show. how the show proved to be one of the significant tools for them to know and understand islam better. and these comments came from muslimahs in non-muslim countries all over the world. it shows that this series has helped women to strengthen their faith, especially those whom we know as 'saudara/i baru' or new sisters amidst non-muslim community, which can be hard to do.<br />they also put up summaries of previous episodes and i got to read all of them. the topics vary from 'living for akhirah' to 'attaining taqwa' to 'peer pressure' to 'education and careers for sisters'. and they talked about them in a simple straight forward manner, so that viewers can easily understand.<br />it's interesting to know that a small group of muslimahs in a non-muslim country manage to provide such a thorough insight of islam and broadcast it worldwide, compared to us, here, in a muslim country where wearing hijab is now a matter of trend instead of obligation. there is a point to ponder there. <br />which brings me to point out that there is a lot of programs for muslimah locally. we should be grateful that the awareness is there, although still weak since the programs sometimes skidded away from the original path of guiding our women towards understanding islam better. maybe we should provide more interesting talks added with travelling to siginifcant places, instead of overwhelming the screen with the newest trends of hijabs and busana.. or islamic dramas with the actresses freely flaunting their crowns when they are no longer shooting. <br />media plays a vital role in guiding people, especially those who enjoy them. it's true that we are targetting the youths of the nation to be better person. it's a commendable effort when shows such as imam muda and ustazah pilihan start to bring out more knowledge about islam. let's just pray that these shows will not stray away from their true intentions. <br />media is there to provide knowledge, the right knowledge to people, to youths, not to confuse them further. islam is to be understood, learned and practised, and media is one of the significant tools to provide that. let's just hope it won't be misused with all the gimicks and the extravaganza that seemed to flood the channels these days. <br />or else, it might be best to just have a simple show like the City Sisters where peers sit down and talk and travel occasionally, and still can change their comrades all around the world into being better persons and strengthening their faith in the religion of islam. which is actually what we should aim to do. really.rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-52561561859726045692011-09-01T20:24:00.002+08:002011-09-28T21:12:44.279+08:00September yang pertama...<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>Alhamdulillah masih lagi boleh bernafas, berkongsi oksigen dengan segenap makhluk-Nya...<br />Alhamdulillah nadi masih lagi berdenyut...<br />Alhamdulillah anggota badan masih mampu bergerak menuruti arahan fikiran...<br />Alhamdulillah mata masih mampu melihat...<br />Alhamdulillah telinga masih mampu mendengar...<br />Alhamdulillah lidah masih mampu bertutur...<br />Alhamdulillah bibir masih mampu tersenyum... <br />Alhamdulillah hidung masih mampu menghidu harum ciptaan-Mu...<br />Alhamdulillah ya Allah, hari ini masih mampu kulalui dengan hati yang gembira, dengan tawa yang ria, dengan rasa syukur pada-Mu, ya Allah...<br />Alhamdulillah september yang pertama tahun ini kujejaki jua, seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya, tarikh simbolik bertambahnya usiaku, kematanganku dan ilmuku...<br />Alhamdulillah untuk segala-galanya ya Allah...<br />Dan seperti tahun sebelum ini september ini masih lagi bulan kegemaran di kalangan 12 bulan masihi, masih lagi bulan yang menandakan pembaharuan... A new department, a new type of job to go through, a new kind of challenge. <br />Alhamdulillah for the positive thoughts you've given me ya Allah, to go through this...<br />Alhamdulillah for the past 27 years of life you've given me ya Allah, may You always guide me along for the years to come till my time is done. Amin ya Rabbal'alamin...</div>rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-35896926422484614302011-08-17T18:36:00.002+08:002011-09-28T21:13:29.980+08:00Awake and Alive<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><em>Awake And Alive lyrics<br />Songwriters: Cooper, John; Howes, Brian;<br /><br />I'm at war with the world<br />And they try to pull me into the dark<br />I struggle to find my faith<br />As I'm slipping from your arms<br /><br />It's getting harder to stay awake<br />And my strength is fading fast<br />You breathe into me at last<br /><br />I'm awake, I'm alive<br />Now I know what I believe inside<br />Now it's my time<br />I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life<br /><br />(Here, right now)<br />Right here, right now<br />Stand my ground and never back down<br />I know what I believe inside<br />I'm awake, and I'm alive<br /><br />I'm at war with the world<br />'Cause I ain't never gonna sell my soul<br />I've already made up my mind<br />No matter what, I can't be bought or sold<br /><br />When my faith is getting weak<br />And I feel like giving in<br />You breathe into me again<br /><br />I'm awake, I'm alive<br />Now I know what I believe inside<br />( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/skillet-lyrics/awake-and-alive-lyrics-18.html )<br />Now it's my time<br />I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life<br /><br />(Here, right now)<br />Right here, right now<br />Stand my ground and never back down<br />I know what I believe inside<br />I'm awake, and I'm alive<br /><br />Waking up, waking up<br />Waking up, waking up<br />Waking up, waking up<br />Waking up, waking up in the dark<br /><br />I can feel you in my sleep<br />In your arms, I feel you breathe into me<br />Forever hold this heart that I will give to you<br />Forever I will live for you<br /><br />I'm awake, I'm alive<br />Now I know what I believe inside<br />Now it's my time<br />I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life<br /><br />(Here, right now)<br />Right here, right now<br />Stand my ground and never back down<br />I know what I believe inside<br />I'm awake, and I'm alive<br /><br />Waking up, waking up<br />Waking up, waking up<br />Waking up, waking up<br />Waking up, waking up<br /><br />these lyrics are submitted by FF5 Fan<br />these lyrics are last corrected by patricia leslie<br /><br /></em><br />One cool song amidst quite a few amazing music taken from the official soundtracks for the Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon.</div>rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-182904459485839362011-07-29T22:13:00.002+08:002011-09-28T21:14:19.402+08:00Testing mobile blogging<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>Dengan ini diisytiharkan saya sudah menginstall kemudahan utk blogging secara mobile. Cuba untuk mengisi kekosongan. Mungkin dgn mobile blogging macam ni, blog ni akan lebih mudah diupdate. Walaupun secara jujurnye, saya x suka mengupdate blog tanpa apa2 input yg boleh mendatangkan manfaat kepada pembacanya. Macam sekarang. Fikiran masih lagi kosong tanpa apa2 idea, sekadar membaca coretan2 lama dengan senyum kecil di bibir dan perasaan wonder itu. Wondering how at one time i had so much ideas to write, sampai tangan x terkejar nak menulis. Wondering how those ideas can easily elude me nowadays... Mungkin banyak sangat dosa sekarang. Rezeki utk idea itu Tuhan sekat dulu. Wallahualam. Tersangat ingin idea itu datang kembali, saat ini... God, help me...<span id='BB_SIGN_BEGIN'><img alt='BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop' src='http://theblogbooster.com/pixel.gif' style='border:none;'/></span></div>rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-61951396265014152082011-07-23T22:24:00.003+08:002011-09-28T21:16:55.844+08:00Hollow. Vacant. Empty.Hollow tu maknanya ruang yang kosong. Vacant tu selalu diertikan dengan pandangan yang kosong. Empty tu memang dah maklum la maksudnya kosong. so, those three words basically describe the same thing. hollowness. vacancy. emptiness. which is bila diterjemahkan kepada lingua franca tanah melayu jadinya satu perkataan je: KOSONG.<br />i'm sorry for the fact that this blog has been 'kosong' for such a long time. it's just the way it is. it's just the way to tell that the writer here is having one of those meltdowns when her mind is hollow, her stare is vacant and her heart is empty.<br />when my mind is working overtime without actually thinking, it's hollow. when my eyes are looking without actually seeing, my gaze is vacant. when my heart is aching without actually feeling anything, it is empty. void.<br />dan apakah sebab musababnya kekosongan ini datang menyerang, saya sendiri tak tau. but, like a human body which God creates to respond automatically to any changes on it, i react too, to this emptiness. to try desperately to fill up this hollowness. though the only thing that could actually fill up this vacancy is tears. lots and lots and lots of tears.<br />and still, kekosongan itu masih tetap dirasa. God help me...rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-35365647197804812092011-06-29T00:05:00.002+08:002011-09-28T21:17:10.931+08:00Brokenfor lack of things to write... and i dunno why i like the word 'broken' so much... but here's the lyric for the beautiful song from lifehouse... i've highlighted what <em>i'm feeling</em>...<br /><br />The broken clock is a comfort<br />It helps me sleep tonight<br />Maybe it can start tomorrow<br />From stealing all my time<br /><br />And I am here still waiting<br />Though I still have my doubts<br /><strong>I am damaged at best<br />Like you've already figured out</strong><br /><br /><strong>I'm falling apart<br />I'm barely breathing<br />With a broken heart<br />That's still beating</strong><br /><br />In the pain<br />There is healing<br />In your name<br />I find meaning<br /><br />So I'm holding on<br />I'm holding on<br />I'm holding on<br />I'm barely holding on to you<br /><br />The broken locks were a warning<br />You got inside my head<br /><strong>I tried my best to be guarded<br />I'm an open book instead</strong><br /><br />And I still see your reflection<br />Inside of my eyes<br />That are looking for purpose<br />They're still looking for life<br /><br /><strong>I'm falling apart<br />I'm barely breathing<br />With a broken heart<br />That's still beating</strong><br /><br />In the pain<br />(In the pain)<br />Is there healing?<br />In your name<br />(In your name)<br />I find meaning<br /><br />So I'm holding on<br />(I'm still holding)<br />I'm holding on<br />(I'm still holding)<br />I'm holding on<br />(I'm still holding)<br />I'm barely holding on to you<br /><br />I'm hanging on another day<br />Just to see what you will throw my way<br />And I'm hanging on to the words you say<br />You said that I will be okay<br /><br />Broken lights on the freeway<br />Left me here alone<br /><strong>I may have lost my way now<br />I haven't forgotten my way home</strong><br /><br /><strong>I'm falling apart<br />I'm barely breathing<br />With a broken heart<br />That's still beating</strong><br /><br />In the pain<br />(In the pain)<br />There is healing<br />In your name<br />(In your name)<br />I find meaning<br /><br />So I'm holding on<br />(I'm still holding)<br />I'm holding on<br />(I'm still holding)<br />I'm holding on<br />(I'm still holding)<br />I'm barely holding on to you<br /><br />I'm holding on<br />(I'm still holding)<br />I'm holding on<br />(I'm still holding)<br />I'm holding on<br />(I'm still holding)<br />I'm barely holding on to you<br /><br />p/s: i want to post the song here, but then i'm tired and sleepy now.. maybe next time. till then, bye...rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-56545063307400410702011-06-16T22:41:00.002+08:002011-09-28T21:19:30.703+08:00list of dreamssaya ketandusan idea nak menulis. menulis di blog. menulis in general. this is what came up when i'm out of light. light of ideas, i mean. i'll try to make this short. because i notice most my entries are soooo long... heh... but, then, on second thought, yang ni pun rasanya akan panjang jugak... and boring... so, u're free to go... bye...<br /><br />1. saya nak jadi berani<br /><br />2. saya nak publish cerita yang saya tulis, tapi tiada no. 1 tu lagi.. camne???<br /><br />3. saya nak main drum. sebab saya sangat suka percussion, tapi tak pernah berpeluang untuk belajar. setiap lagu yang saya dengar, the first beat yang caught my ears are the drumbeats. baru gitar. the way i define good music is when they have good drum tracks... and/or gitar goreng yg best...<br /><br />4. saya nak belajar drift. tapi tak reti bawak kereta manual. heh.<br /><br />5. saya nak jadi isteri yang baik. (whoa!!!!!!!!!! dari mana datangnya tu?????????????) heh...<br /><br />6. saya nak jadi pandai memasak. malangnya saya malas. dan x pandai. :(<br /><br />7. saya nak berkorban untuk something that matters. love, maybe? berangan that i give up everything to give someone i love something priceless. nyet! that was me being hopelessly romantic, i guess.<br /><br />8. saya nak buat something that can mean something good to someone. tapi tak de talent. dan keberanian. again.<br /><br />9. saya nak ada anak/anak2. and love them with all my heart as best i can. <br /><br />10. saya nak jadi muslimah yang berjihad. again, keberanian itu sangat penting. that is why it's the top on my list here.<br /><br />11. saya nak travel around the world. bukan sekadar untuk ambil gambar dan tengok view. tapi nak hayati cara hidup. nak berbakti mana yang boleh ditolong. bermusafir. bersyukur. takjub dengan ciptaan Tuhan yang luas ini.<br /><br />12. saya nak pergi buat haji. nak jejak kaki lagi di Mekah dan Madinah. rindu sangat...<br /><br />13. saya nak pergi Baitulmuqaddis. nak pergi negara2 islam yang susah dan tolong.<br /><br />14. saya nak tulis lirik untuk linkin park. haha.<br /><br />15. kadang-kadang saya berangan kahwin anak raja. so saya boleh berhenti kerja sekarang, dan buat khidmat sosial, bantu orang susah all over the countries. heh.<br /><br />16. saya nak bekerja dengan spirit. bukan semata-mata bekerja, tapi tak dapat apa-apa in return. yes, dapat gaji. but gaji is just money. knowledge, wisdom, ikhlas, khidmat dengan hati tu yang lagi penting.<br /><br />17. saya nak berhenti rasa malas setiap kali bangun pagi nak pergi kerja.<br /><br />18. saya nak jadi happy. dan bersyukur dengan apa yang ada, which is a lot. tapi tu pun payah nak buat bila jealousy datang menyerang. i hate jealousy. :(<br /><br />19. saya nak tamatkan list ni dengan something bombastik, tapi...<br /><br />20. saya nak... dah out of light. again. aduih. this rattling is ridiculous, tapi it feels good to let it out. sorry, though. pretty boring. and insightless. clueless.<br /><br />bye.rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-8391491271031973292011-06-05T21:41:00.003+08:002011-09-28T21:17:50.487+08:00Bila lagi...?someone like me is accustomed to this famous, open-ended question ever since we finished studying and started working. for me, that is almost four years of enduring tight smiles and flitting glances, searching for escapes. this ever famous question has sometimes became the reason to avoid socialising, especially during wedding season. these two words hold even more power than a loaded gun pointed at the head, just by being open-ended and stalled mid-air, waiting to be answered with answers yet to come.<br />or am i being dramatic?<br />bila fikir-fikir balik, kenapa mesti fikir ke arah 'itu' saje apabila soalan ini ditanya? i mean, it's being open-ended for a reason, ain't it? it doesn't necessarily have to mean: bila lagi 'nak kahwin'? right? it might mean: bila lagi nak sambung master? bila lagi nak sambung phd? bila lagi nak pergi mekah, madinah, australia, bangkok, vietnam, kemboja, jakarta... and so on and so forth? <br />or am i just being hopelessly optimistic?<br />what i notice is that this question is asked between people when they have nothing else to say. it's like an automatic traditional custom to ask this when you're out of topic to talk about. which brings another word into mind right now. pathetic. the person being asked might seem pathetic, for not knowing what to answer when asked this, but the person asking is actually more pathetic for having to ask this ever famous, out-of-other-thing-to-talk-about, question, in the first place. get what i mean?<br />tapi, adakah salah tukang yang bertanya apabila niatnya hanyalah ikhlas nak tau? mungkinlah juga salah orang yang ditanya, kenapa nak diassume pertanyaan itu menjurus ke arah itu saja, ye idak? i guess, it's a lose-lose situation. the one asking lose the other's respect when asking this question, and the one asked lose face for having automatically assumed the question is an insult, instead of honest curiosity.<br />it's a pity that this is what commonly happening in our society. losing respect and losing face, because of just one simple, open-ended question. and we wonder why people avoid each other's eyes when socialising...<br />so, here, let's rephrase things. apa kata bila ada orang bertanya: bila lagi...? kita jangan automatically assume they are asking us bila nak kahwin? how about we help them complete the question? hm...<br /><br />kejadian di satu majlis perkahwinan....<br /><em>A: dah kamu ni bila lagi...?<br />B: Bila lagi nak sambung master? insya Allah la makcik, ada rezeki saya sampai la ke Uzerbaijan tu sambung belajar haiwan2 gurun. (dalam hati: hahahaha)<br />A: (dalam hati: kurang asam budak ni).</em><br /><br />at least then, we know we still have our sense of humour intact. ;Prodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-36795863485557313032011-06-03T14:03:00.003+08:002011-09-28T21:20:44.155+08:00Ta'arufTa’aruf tu kalau ikut maknanya ialah saling kenal-mengenal. Merangkumi segala bentuk perkenalan, antara lelaki dengan perempuan, antara sahabat, antara saudara-mara selepas sesi jejak kasih. Apa saja bentuk perkenalan yang dianjurkan oleh Islam. Tapi, masyarakat kita dah pandang ta’aruf itu pada satu makna saja, iaitu perkenalan antara lelaki dan perempuan. Lebih spesifik lagi, kononnya antara lelaki dan perempuan yang ada intention untuk spend the rest of their lives together, yeah, yeah, simply said, to get married.<br />This entry is not going to talk about ta’aruf. Kerana saya bersetuju dengan makna ta’aruf yang asal, iaitu saling kenal-mengenal. Full stop. This is an entry about perkenalan antara lelaki dengan perempuan. This topic came about after a short discussion i had with a few colleagues of mine a few weeks ago, about this. Dan sebab sinonimnya pemikiran ramai bahawa ta’aruf itu adalah spesifik ke arah ni, saya letak tajuknya seperti itu. bear in mind, the meaning of the word is broader than that.<br />So, back to perkenalan antara lelaki dengan perempuan. <br />I was telling my colleagues that i don’t really believe in dating, atas dasar nak berkenalan sebelum kahwin. I have quite a strong opposition against the idea of dating and couple, clouded with the famous excuse of ‘to get to know each other’. Perlu ke ‘get to know each other’ dengan bergayut/berchatting/bermesej/ sampai ke pukul tiga empat pagi, talking nonsense and NOT getting to know each other at all? ye la, berapa kerat couples that you know yang share their likes and dislikes, their wisdom and thoughts, their ups and downs, their goodness and their flaws? Ada, yeah, sikit. The rest, banyak yang cover up their flaws, their dislikes, their different opinions on things, just for the sake of impressing the so-called ‘other half’. Banyak yang spend 90% of the conversations on praising each other (you cantik/handsome/pandai/smart/cute/lawa), saying i miss you, i love you, rindu la, sayang awak and asking breakfast tadi makan apa, lunch tadi makan apa, dinner tadi makan apa, ni dah dekat nak subuh nak supper apa and the words go on, pusing balik macam tadi. Bila dah macam tu, adakah itu namanya berkenal-kenalan? <br />Hm... well, maybe i was just being sceptic. But that is the typical scenario these days. And i am frank enough to say that i don’t like it. And so i said to my colleagues, i don’t mind not getting to know my other-half before marriage. As long as God shows me he’s the right one. Who am I to doubt that, right?<br />But then, my colleague’s counterattack was quite an impressive one. He put in an example of an acquaintance we had sometimes ago, who was abused by her husband, the one she married before truly getting to know him (code words here: tak pernah ‘couple’). So, that got me to think. Is couple the answer? I still don’t think it is. Then, what is? Is the perkenalan sebelum berkahwin itu truly necessary? If abusing cases like that are taken into account, i’d say very much necessary. So, then, what to do?<br />It goes on to not whether or not perkenalan itu perlu, but it goes on to HOW we do it. And still i’d like to emphasize, couple is still not the answer. There is a way to do it honourably. And that’s where we were suddenly introduced to the word ta’aruf. Bila perkataan dah bunyi arab sikit, mula la ingat benda tu dah betul. Mula la satu perkataan dengan makna yang innocent disalahgunakan untuk menghalalkan apa yang sebenarnya haram.<br />For me, couple is NOT ta’aruf. Couple is not the answer. Dalam Islam memang tak de istilah couple. Dah berkoyan-koyan artikel yang iluvislam.com terbitkan yang emphasize pasal ni. Susah sangat ye nak paham?<br />In Islam, getting to know each other before marrying is allowed. But, do it honourably. The guy will bring his family to see the girl’s family, ask permission and get to know each other. When it’s necessary for the two of them to meet, someone else must be there as chaperone, preferably a close family. No need of chatting, messaging, gayuting, whatever. Simple. Clean. There won’t be unnecessary praises and stupid repeated questions when seated together with family like that. The true thing about each other will come out in the open, each likes and dislikes, each opinions and thoughts, each goodness and flaws. There is no need for trying hard to impress since both families are already aware of the situation. Tengah dalam proses nak berkenalan. That is the true meaning and the right way of berkenalan. Susah ke nak buat? I don’t know. Ask yourself. It’s the ideal way. Tapi susah betul nak cari ketika zaman dunia dah nak kiamat ni...<br />For me, it’s pretty simple. I might be seen as a modern girl who watches too many Hollywood movies and read too many romances before. But, when it comes to deciding who i’m going to spend the rest of my life with, i’m still the old-fashioned, conventional, budak pingitan melayu macam zaman dulu-dulu. I won’t be impressed with the words ‘will you marry me’, however special you make the proposal is, however sore your knees are for kneeling. I’ll be impressed if you’re there, with your family, meeting mine and do it honourably. I’ll be impressed if you do that because you know it’s the right thing to do and because you know that is how we do it in Islam, and most importantly, you do it because you want to gain His blessings. That will impress me. Whether or not you’ll be accepted, that’s not for me alone to decide. It’s still His work.<br />So, scold me for being old-fashioned, i won’t budge. I’m trying to do it the right way. And that’s the only way i know to ‘berkenal-kenalan’. The only way I approve of because i’m trying to do what Allah wants me to do. What He will approve me of doing.<br />Because for me, the fact is this: nak cari suami dunia tu mungkin senang. Nak cari suami dunia DAN akhirat tu yang susah. Wallahualam.rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-62661419498311176362011-05-17T16:52:00.020+08:002011-09-28T21:18:38.998+08:00books, read, writebeen waiting to write about this for a while. but under certain circumstances, selalu je xde masa. bila bersemangat dan ada masa nak tulis, blogger tengah under service pulak, cet! but, well, here we go...<br />i love to read. u might have read about that particular passion of mine <a href="http://rodie1984.blogspot.com/2009/05/i-love-2-read.html">here</a> ...<br />heh! i can't help it. books are my staple diet. forget rice, forget junk food, forget fast food, even forget rocky road or double dutch, give me an interesting book, and u'll find me the most well-mannered girl u ever met. i can have my nose buried in those sweet-smelling pages the whole day, really. i guess being born to parents who were teachers and who value books among anything else kinda prompted me to be like that. as the following pictures will tell u... :)<br /><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607612361241998642" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 183px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbad3lWI5J3BbGxDbcmGu7j3QcaKlavn-2GfTVxK_GTEP8bbWy4wItq0H0YgL6pIlkBGhDqTXXJ3ERl4iPSC9Kekmfv67Yix-J2D7sxzAHtqtKzzXwBXPKOTPdXTpnwfY3MgrPKHL5tQ4/s200/IMAG0260.jpg" border="0" />ha! itu la padahnya bila dah bertahun-tahun tak pergi pesta buku. sekali pergi, hampir tercabut soket bahu menggalas beg berisi buku2 di atas tu, yang hampir penuh katil. ish! ish! ish! hehehe... notice that they are all malay books... hm.. interesting.. what have gotten into me???<br /><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607613418245380930" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 176px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaMrp_S6FmTfIbmITnQFMSFYkkqo-A3R2pe9yUvE9mKU0KdWQoJxHoXo_a8iRNGpw6fAly-YE3ZR9TE4nwK8IY_iAEuWDxrCPf9FDhkeMjTUytq2rT5H8fXw9U-uozlNt_rAWT0G9OgBk/s200/IMAG0261.jpg" border="0" />so, to tune down my sudden appetite for malay novels for a bit, on my way back home, i bought these three english menus..heh!<br />and these actually are adding up to the following books i haven't yet read, sitting comfortably here at home..uhuh....<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607614942228751362" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 176px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGdSTobWIquyW00qVcJ6vNiQJU3sevO-ualXZ7mLHZd3WYzPJ-ILgdhB63UEjtx6ZnSwSc3QYtDX7EYBsXTjGb6sXYFba7Yll5hZD_rMaMewdyZoRIJI2eyqDu0Rzyv3jK1JsqlPw2vEM/s200/IMAG0263.jpg" border="0" />ngee!!! quite a load, don't u think??? hehehe... adding all up, that pretty much sums to 19 books i haven't yet read...my... my! tu belum nak campur buku yang dah lama zaman berkirun dulu beli tapi tak baca2 lagi tu... Pride & Prejudice, Persuasion, kisah khalifah Umar al-Khatab dengan Ali bin Abu Talib, kisah Siti Aisyah isteri kesayangan Rasulullah, Qur'an Saintifik yang tak betul-betul habis lagi baca, la-Tahzan, Jodi Picoult's Change of Heart my sister lent to me looooooooong time ago.... just to name a few... kihkihkih... that equals to almost 30 books i have to read! yeehaa!!</div><br /><div>and here's to share the books i have <em>already</em> found the time to read, thank God...</div></div><br /><br /><div>my malay collections... :)<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607617526315665874" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiJO3udMCcl9hpI909k_DAPfoJMQM7ljGUV9_7fT0f5fUgSXUQ-lu_-ii93MLmz0ZaUI8Vrtp8kpHOI5W0BgEj-qvQzKOW0W2_M2vhuYY6py74io7Y_XVUbSQaL3czxhjTDSqNxmQiIkU/s200/IMAG0266.jpg" border="0" /></div><br /><div>yet, another portion of my malay's...<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607618014353495714" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0GtT8rJyVybln3Bp7lH58FP_jNf1iHGKdlj0TPTRUfIE2WTDbagBQVr9fD09UgvZdLjoF0Im68xiXhkp5SuhI73lwTkvGZKLstv23fFGqMZoqyFTfCyHsY09re0z1eIjILxuVkpUxnx0/s200/IMAG0267.jpg" border="0" />my collection of sweet valley high's. there are almost 50 of them, which colored my teen years... hehe...<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607619029682877538" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 203px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJyUGE3iGKEY5pfHdi9XnfYGDxy-ooafAcmkEqmRLBZlsvdeLcT1vmMer90bTUO39L7bCRCP1wF3tcYmUjq9U1f91OW2kpk4kuC74v04x697Oqac4zponj02OSVB7cDLUrlOu2Hnm9NYs/s200/IMAG0268.jpg" border="0" /></div><br /><div>my random collections... well, i have a variety of tastes when it comes to books... :)</div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607621599695768386" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 150px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0Bx9W67SEWJhD3HD_IdaXTabjJG0J7-58b0Iyx1UKvH9FouJikXl5Sj1FW4yhWM0_xB2I79I2iKnj0kB29XXtc2r3orIB2UqxihANdRCSR9txUMRS0oeVtk5KoOznrqBNnA-aBbMOwUo/s200/IMAG0271.jpg" border="0" />my mixed of classics and moderns...<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607622210781530818" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 150px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4dFiOkK0QU5uMR82w8XvmStud5cN7uuWC6Bzsl2Qf5YhjUwpc7EvzClO4j_JnNjQiiIeST9CXX-npv-FfMNbvr0ZSlxtnUNepDdGMdNhSShorzTYykAUY1pu0S3bKufHSQXK8qPbcHdI/s200/IMAG0272.jpg" border="0" />my mixed of chick-flicks and romances, once upon a time.... ngee...<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607622949657340594" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz352aNvmPP9qW3bzcJsTLWbSebKnzXhRqWtUHmv_UZRDWlyANxhqYrgSm3u2H9l__xCgW2x3S64nczp8R_WEux-K3JFYTmoShT_v0YslaUQNYmNtyr7CVVDPJrI1athJVwYRweBlVYWE/s200/IMAG0273.jpg" border="0" />my harry potter's!!! all seven of them. as harry matures up in the fifth book, the version of his books i collected also changed to the adult, hard-cover version.. simbolik gitu... hehe...<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607623921383751298" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsnZC-j2s-difgfIZVfQznxf07JMOdfod5VpnvZw_HR-9UoYfPymjDVjGYP5aaI9O6IAwnn-NJjf_KdKED14RRQaSCCIthPWYp8nWIzQZ1oQLjl8kfyIQfh__6ERu-wvOJaogriYMhHdY/s200/IMAG0274.jpg" border="0" />and of course, my ilmiah books... takkan nak lupa gitu je buku yang diguna for five years, ye idak?? (ada jugak terselit anchee min's dengan my fav philippa greggory's, the constant princess kat situ... hehehe.. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgbII2JU1Ih4eunOmG4qCc7AOpI7ybCT0VFvQd0uGCHF9bRIJIhqqLEG6zLq2C5-DDUG92_Sd5AnFVYaepb7oV2pNE62FFHWvptQc3ZCTCuvcvh87X8e5LWPj9ceeaqtj88lJOPp6rCOw/s1600/IMAG0276.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607626714095010050" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 180px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgbII2JU1Ih4eunOmG4qCc7AOpI7ybCT0VFvQd0uGCHF9bRIJIhqqLEG6zLq2C5-DDUG92_Sd5AnFVYaepb7oV2pNE62FFHWvptQc3ZCTCuvcvh87X8e5LWPj9ceeaqtj88lJOPp6rCOw/s200/IMAG0276.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEispSgI99NGueGC3So7AcHVtTIk0uH1Kr7jWEBaGSyEwp1Ptw8kUoy_XmK-BD0SqnWfmUwuABP1R_0kMEem7TPwUWE9ZkaVYfBhgvKDyu8-dTNdX_I_omAKQFdmGb9t-LO-g79mf1Bkfpo/s1600/IMAG0275.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607625909959058946" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 157px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEispSgI99NGueGC3So7AcHVtTIk0uH1Kr7jWEBaGSyEwp1Ptw8kUoy_XmK-BD0SqnWfmUwuABP1R_0kMEem7TPwUWE9ZkaVYfBhgvKDyu8-dTNdX_I_omAKQFdmGb9t-LO-g79mf1Bkfpo/s200/IMAG0275.jpg" border="0" /></a><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607627622765916562" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 179px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 151px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx1NkFUOAWxEiQgSCglKbuQsBdVgFl6oOptQ4f9STkqxt2DRtMs3eQxjl3TscsG9jI2QYRcBPXqEqSfYHKuIYwO8lPj9kIq_p51QceJrKx95J03Oi_A-Vr9LWGaW-wvR4VQNSxVxNf7MU/s200/IMAG0277.jpg" border="0" />seeing all that (please pardon the blurry images of some of the above photos), u know now how much i love to read. well, not so much on the ilmiah part, but the rest, yes. heh. if u still don't believe me, i'll tell u a secret. i even read when i'm in the <em>toilet</em>. something i inherited from my eldest sister. heh!<br />those are a LOT of books. like my ex-lecturer-pensioner-cum-writer/novelist/author father had pointed out one day, all these books should have made me a writer like him. he said he only had to read a couple or three books and he could already write a novel! the way he said it that time hurt me a little (isk!). sedey...<br />don't get me wrong. i love to write. i told u that in this <a href="http://rodie1984.blogspot.com/2009/05/i-love-2-write.html">entry</a> a long, long time ago. his blood does run in my veins, anyway, so i do have the interest, you may even call it passion, to write. but i don't have that talent to spin what's in my mind into an interesting story. at least not yet. i don't have the talent, nor the time...<br />I have an 8 to 5 (sometimes 6) job which hammers down on my left brain thunderously during the day, plus 2 hours of traveling to and from work, so it should be understood that it’s going to be a tad difficult for me to automatically switch to right brain during the night. Most nights, i don’t switch at all. so flat out and tired, all i do is switching off all activities and watch movies without seeing and then watch the back of my eyelids. Writing is not my primary job, however i want it to, so badly. Please, try to understand that...<br />no matter how much i read, how many books i have, the ideas to write still pretty much scattered. till i find the time to gather it all together, then maybe i can put up a good book for you to read. and i mean a <em>good</em> book. i don't want to merely write books with nothing you can learn from. i want to write books that mean something to someone. that can teach something about life and the afterlife. because i appreciate that kind of books, so it's only natural that is what i want to come from me too. till then, thank you for reading. :)rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-51995233048608858822011-04-21T21:55:00.003+08:002011-09-28T21:45:44.456+08:00I don't wanna be...Anything other than what i’ve been trying to be lately.... ooops, that sounds awfully familiar. Yup, lyrics from gavin degraw’s i don’t want to be, 1 tree hill theme song, eheh! Well, i don’t want to talk about the song, i want to talk about what i don’t want to be:<br /><br />1. A hypocrite. One heck of a job to do that. We are all a bit of hypocrites here and there with our own twisted reasons and excuses.<br /><br />2. A brag. I hate bragging. If u’re good at something, prove it, don’t talk about it yet until it’s there, plain for everyone to see.<br /><br />3. A goody-goody two, three, four, five, six, seven and so on- shoes.<br /><br />4. A snob<br /><br />5. A lazy ass. One heck of a job too. I am lazy.<br /><br />6. A back-stabbing friend<br /><br />7. An ungrateful person<br /><br />8. An unforgiving individual<br /><br />9. A forgetful person.<br /><br />10. A kissing-ass b%!@#<br /><br />11. A psycho<br /><br />12. Alone<br /><br />13. A grunge holder (?)<br /><br />14. Jealous<br /><br />15. Bad<br /><br />16. Awful<br /><br />17. Bad-mouthing anyone to anyone<br /><br />18. Scared anymore<br /><br />19. Loveless<br /><br />20. Lifeless<br /><br />21. Boring<br /><br />22. Dull<br /><br />23. Losing my sense of humour, which i sense is close, and that is bad. Bad. Bad.<br /><br />24. Helpless<br /><br />25. Hopeless<br /><br />26. Clueless<br /><br />27. Without aim<br /><br />28. Aimless. Damn, that’s the same thing.<br /><br />29. In a writer’s-block mode, but apparently, here i am.<br /><br />30. Misguided into doing what i don’t want to do and pretending i like doing it.<br /><br />31. Losing interest in my work, but sadly, that is what’s happening now.<br /><br />32. Chained, figuratively. I’m a free-soul, held down too tightly now, though.<br /><br />33. Restless, but i am, all the time<br /><br />34. Stressed. Huh! Who wants that?!<br /><br />35. A blur of existence. I want to exist and mean something to someone, clearly<br /><br />36. Lost<br /><br />37. A coward. But, uh, i am.<br /><br />38. Losing my feeling<br /><br />39. Reading without understanding<br /><br />40. Watching without seeing<br /><br />41. Losing interest in helping people.<br /><br />42. Stuck in the past, but ops, i am.<br /><br />43. Unforgiven<br /><br />44. Hated, though i’m good at provoking someone to hate me, really.<br /><br />45. Here and not there...<br /><br />46. <em>Anything other than what i’ve been trying to be lately, all i have to do is sing to me and i have a peace of mind, i’m tired of looking round rooms wondering what i got to do, or who i’m supposed to be, i don’t want to be anything other than... me</em>. Yeah, gavin degraw’s again. His is the best definition and explanation.<br /><br />There. In conclusion, i don’t want to be a lot of things. But most of the time that ‘a lot of things’ is just me. I’m not perfect. I have my vulnerabilities. I have insecurities. I have doubts. I have fear. Those make up who I am. I’m not saying I am all those things. Some i really hate to be and really try not to be. But there are some that i can’t help not to be. It’s just me. <br /><br />I don’t want to be a lot of things. But, to put it simply, i sure as heck don’t want to be other than me.rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6843119668841892440.post-3563588747483390922011-04-19T22:26:00.003+08:002011-09-28T21:20:44.156+08:00of nuclear and powerwe all know the tragedy that hit Japan last month on the eleventh, when a literally groundbreaking earthquake caused a massive tsunami to crash upon the island, sacrificing thousands of lives. we all know what we worried next when that happened. the nuclear plants on that island. and of course, the worry is justified. the tsunami caused serious damages to the plants, heating it up, which may in turn, from what i understood from reading about it, cause the radioactive particles inside the plants to break free and spread out. and we know what damage can radioactive particles do. very serious, indeed.<br />then, i found this article on the net, published on the 13th march, 2 days after the strike. i'm quoting just a bit of it:<br /><em>"On Saturday, Japanese officials took the extraordinary step of flooding the crippled No. 1 reactor at Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station, 170 miles north of Tokyo, with <strong>seawater </strong>in a last-ditch effort to avoid a nuclear meltdown." </em> (<em>Japan earthquake: Nuclear crisis spreads to fourth plant</em> by Hiroko Tabuchi, Matthew L Wald, New York Times, Updated: March 13, 2011 22:49 IST).<br />they flooded it in an attempt to cool it down.<br />the point to ponder here is this: we know tsunami is the giant waves of the seawater. and from this article, it is apparent that they use <em>seawater </em>to try to repair or reduce the damage caused, early on, by the giant waves of the <em>seawater</em>. can you see the irony? we use what was the cause of the problem in the first place to try to remedy the problem it caused. and now i'm talking in riddles....<br />what i'm trying to say here is this: we are powerless. <br />no matter how we try to prove it otherwise, by having nuclear reactors or whatnots, whatever, in one stroke of a power more powerful than us, it all will be gone. some call it force of nature, some call it wrath of god, some call it sequences of numbers and probabilities i don't ever want to understand, some call it whatever, whatnots. <br />for me, it's clear. it's a sign from the Almighty above to remind us how powerless we are. how we should bow down and remind ourselves that this world, that island are not ours to do whatever we like with them. this world is NOT ours. and we can see how bad we have forgotten that fact from the damage that particular tragedy had caused. it took us to see that kind of destruction to wake up. it's no longer small, small signs, it gets bigger and bigger as we went deeper and deeper into forgetting that everything in the world will go back to Him, the Creator.<br />He creates the seawater. He creates the island. He creates the tsunami. He creates the destruction to wake us up. and ironically we use back the things He creates to remedy the damage He also creates. which just proved that everything goes back to Him.<br />this is going to be a short entry. if i go further, i'll twist my words more and i'll stop making sense and that, i don't ever want to do. i don't know if i'm making sense now, but somehow, some way, that piece of article made me realize something. it might not make sense to you what i wrote here, but try to think. the irony of everything that happens. it's a lesson, in some sort of weird, twisted and wicked way, it is a lesson, nontheless.rodhiah_rahmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136233882826915060noreply@blogger.com0