'Rumah Baru' a.k.a Wattpad
6 years ago
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
It's been a while...
Yeah, i know...
It's been a while since i last wrote. Actually, it's been a while since i last 'visited' here. I guess i got scared. Scared of reading old posts and finding myself with tears. That's it. I was scared.
But somehow today, i finally stopped here. Read back a few posts randomly and read a few blogs i followed, catching up on their news.
And then i'm not scared anymore.
Things have changed a lot since the last time. Moving on isn't easy but i find myself doing that every day. Day after day after day...
Things around me have changed. Improved, even.
I've walked out of my comfort zone starting last december and here i am at a new workplace. Actually, an old-become-new workplace. I've worked here before. But being a junior and senior has its differences...
I even find myself with a new profession starting early february.. The thing that i could not even find the courage to tell u . I finally did it.
I published a book. Alhamdulillah...
I'll tell u all about it on the next post, okay? :)
It's been a while since i last wrote. Actually, it's been a while since i last 'visited' here. I guess i got scared. Scared of reading old posts and finding myself with tears. That's it. I was scared.
But somehow today, i finally stopped here. Read back a few posts randomly and read a few blogs i followed, catching up on their news.
And then i'm not scared anymore.
Things have changed a lot since the last time. Moving on isn't easy but i find myself doing that every day. Day after day after day...
Things around me have changed. Improved, even.
I've walked out of my comfort zone starting last december and here i am at a new workplace. Actually, an old-become-new workplace. I've worked here before. But being a junior and senior has its differences...
I even find myself with a new profession starting early february.. The thing that i could not even find the courage to tell u . I finally did it.
I published a book. Alhamdulillah...
I'll tell u all about it on the next post, okay? :)
Friday, September 21, 2012
I miss him
I made the mistake of opening my father's closet today.
Awashed by the smell of his favourite perfume still lingered there, i stared at his baju melayu's hanging in there, while images came crossing my mind. An image of him in one of those baju melayu's, the turqouise one that he used to marry off his elder three daughters. An image of him in the other ones, smiling at me as he prepared for Jumaat prayer, always going to the mosque earlier than everyone else, smelling of the musky smell of that perfume he loved so much.
Images after images after images... And the tears came without warning.
Can't stop it. Still can't stop it after 7 months...
I miss him. Terribly much.
Al-Fatihah...
Awashed by the smell of his favourite perfume still lingered there, i stared at his baju melayu's hanging in there, while images came crossing my mind. An image of him in one of those baju melayu's, the turqouise one that he used to marry off his elder three daughters. An image of him in the other ones, smiling at me as he prepared for Jumaat prayer, always going to the mosque earlier than everyone else, smelling of the musky smell of that perfume he loved so much.
Images after images after images... And the tears came without warning.
Can't stop it. Still can't stop it after 7 months...
I miss him. Terribly much.
Al-Fatihah...
Friday, July 6, 2012
Roads Untraveled
'Weep not for roads untraveled,
Weep not for paths left alone,
Cause beyond every bend,
Is a long blinding end,
It's the worst kind of pain I've known.
Give up your heart left unbroken,
And let that mistake pass on,
Cause the love that you lost,
Wasn't worth what it cost,
And in time you'll be glad it's gone.
Weep not for roads untraveled,
Weep not for sights unseen,
May your love never end,
And if you need a friend,
There's a seat here alongside me.'
~ Linkin Park, Living Things, 2012.
Weep not for paths left alone,
Cause beyond every bend,
Is a long blinding end,
It's the worst kind of pain I've known.
Give up your heart left unbroken,
And let that mistake pass on,
Cause the love that you lost,
Wasn't worth what it cost,
And in time you'll be glad it's gone.
Weep not for roads untraveled,
Weep not for sights unseen,
May your love never end,
And if you need a friend,
There's a seat here alongside me.'
~ Linkin Park, Living Things, 2012.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Abah...
I remember that time when i sat alone in my car, staring into nothingness, waiting for that plane to take off... With tears flowing nonstop down my cheeks. I didn't know or understand why the tears came then, but i do now.
Because i remember another time before that, i was staring at them as they sat, patiently waiting for the final boarding call. The rest of the passengers walked past them. They should be the last to board. He couldn't walk the short distance to the plane door, you see, so a wheelchair was waiting besides him. I watched as he slowly stood up and sat on the wheelchair and the airport guy wheeled him slowly forward, with my mother close besides him. And that was the last time i saw him alive.
That was the reason for the tears.
Somehow, someway, back then, i knew but didn't realise.
Days passed, tears came, tears went, and i found a message on his sent item folder that made me laugh and cry at the same time. It was a message he sent a few months ago to my mom when it was just me and him at home, my mom had to take care of my sis who had just given birth;
'As'kum Nah, baru lepas makan 2 beranak. Anak suruh abah basuh pinggan. Hahahaha! Anak.'
That 'anak' in the message was me. Yes, i asked him to wash the dishes that night. But i didn't know he told my mother about it and laughed about it. The unconditional love of a parent. You find it in unexpected ways, most of the time.
I miss making him laugh. Even when i didn't know i did it.
I miss the jasmine buds he liked to put on my bed. I would let them bloom and dry up there before i threw them away. I miss his teasing and his jokes. I miss the sound of his voice when he recited the Qur'an after Subuh.
I miss him. So much.
Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, rahmatilah roh abah. Ampunilah dosa-dosanya... Lindungilah dia dari azab kubur-Mu, ya Allah, sayangilah dia... Amin...
Al-fatihah...
'Dengan nama Allah yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Segala puji-pujian bagi Allah, Tuhan sekalian alam. Yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Yang menguasai hari pembalasan. Kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami sembah, kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami mohon pertolongan. Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus. Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau anugerahkan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan jalan mereka yang Engkau murkai, dan bukan pula jalan mereka yang sesat.'
Because i remember another time before that, i was staring at them as they sat, patiently waiting for the final boarding call. The rest of the passengers walked past them. They should be the last to board. He couldn't walk the short distance to the plane door, you see, so a wheelchair was waiting besides him. I watched as he slowly stood up and sat on the wheelchair and the airport guy wheeled him slowly forward, with my mother close besides him. And that was the last time i saw him alive.
That was the reason for the tears.
Somehow, someway, back then, i knew but didn't realise.
Days passed, tears came, tears went, and i found a message on his sent item folder that made me laugh and cry at the same time. It was a message he sent a few months ago to my mom when it was just me and him at home, my mom had to take care of my sis who had just given birth;
'As'kum Nah, baru lepas makan 2 beranak. Anak suruh abah basuh pinggan. Hahahaha! Anak.'
That 'anak' in the message was me. Yes, i asked him to wash the dishes that night. But i didn't know he told my mother about it and laughed about it. The unconditional love of a parent. You find it in unexpected ways, most of the time.
I miss making him laugh. Even when i didn't know i did it.
I miss the jasmine buds he liked to put on my bed. I would let them bloom and dry up there before i threw them away. I miss his teasing and his jokes. I miss the sound of his voice when he recited the Qur'an after Subuh.
I miss him. So much.
Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, rahmatilah roh abah. Ampunilah dosa-dosanya... Lindungilah dia dari azab kubur-Mu, ya Allah, sayangilah dia... Amin...
Al-fatihah...
'Dengan nama Allah yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Segala puji-pujian bagi Allah, Tuhan sekalian alam. Yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Yang menguasai hari pembalasan. Kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami sembah, kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami mohon pertolongan. Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus. Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau anugerahkan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan jalan mereka yang Engkau murkai, dan bukan pula jalan mereka yang sesat.'
Friday, December 30, 2011
Books into movies or dramas
P/s: err... I know. Bad handwriting. Hanging mid-babble. (i'm talking about the pic down under which supposed to be up here. Oh, well...) Here's what i was actually babbling about;
So, i just recently watched Ombak Rindu last night. Granted, i didn't go to the movies, but someone uploaded the full movie on facebook so i watched it. Haha!
And i understood the writer's dissappoinment in it.
I don't remember when i actually read the book, let alone its storyline. I just remember i skipped quite a few pages. Too emotional for me. But, that's what moves you when reading. The authors' abilities to describe emotions. However, nothing moved me last night when i watched the movie.
I think it is rather insulting to us writers, either the struggling ones (like me) or the accomplished ones (like ombak rindu's author) when the story we put so much efforts into (YOU HAVE NO IDEA) to be portrayed on screen with such careless ways.
I think the only stories quite successfully be transformed into movies were the Harry Potter series. Even then, there were some parts in the movies that the audiences won't understand if they didn't read the books. That i observed from my own experiences having to answer my nephew's continuous questions after we watched the last part of the franchise. But then, maybe that's the whole idea. People who haven't yet read the books, when they watched the movies might want to begin reading them. More profit to the author.
Sadly for me, though, i didn't feel like reading Ombak Rindu again after i watched the movie last night. And that is pretty upsetting if you're the writer. Imagine that.
Even if (or to be more positive, even WHEN) i get the chance to publish my stories, i don't ever want them to be translated into movies or dramas.
We write stories, we put our hearts and souls into it, we breathe our hopes into it to be meaningful to someone. To be something someone can learn from.
Making books into movies or dramas is a big responsibility. HUGE. don't look down on it. Do not belittle the ideas behind the stories. Some small scenes in books might mean big thing to someone. Especially the writers.
Do not sidesweep the author. You don't have her/his brain.
So, i just recently watched Ombak Rindu last night. Granted, i didn't go to the movies, but someone uploaded the full movie on facebook so i watched it. Haha!
And i understood the writer's dissappoinment in it.
I don't remember when i actually read the book, let alone its storyline. I just remember i skipped quite a few pages. Too emotional for me. But, that's what moves you when reading. The authors' abilities to describe emotions. However, nothing moved me last night when i watched the movie.
I think it is rather insulting to us writers, either the struggling ones (like me) or the accomplished ones (like ombak rindu's author) when the story we put so much efforts into (YOU HAVE NO IDEA) to be portrayed on screen with such careless ways.
I think the only stories quite successfully be transformed into movies were the Harry Potter series. Even then, there were some parts in the movies that the audiences won't understand if they didn't read the books. That i observed from my own experiences having to answer my nephew's continuous questions after we watched the last part of the franchise. But then, maybe that's the whole idea. People who haven't yet read the books, when they watched the movies might want to begin reading them. More profit to the author.
Sadly for me, though, i didn't feel like reading Ombak Rindu again after i watched the movie last night. And that is pretty upsetting if you're the writer. Imagine that.
Even if (or to be more positive, even WHEN) i get the chance to publish my stories, i don't ever want them to be translated into movies or dramas.
We write stories, we put our hearts and souls into it, we breathe our hopes into it to be meaningful to someone. To be something someone can learn from.
Making books into movies or dramas is a big responsibility. HUGE. don't look down on it. Do not belittle the ideas behind the stories. Some small scenes in books might mean big thing to someone. Especially the writers.
Do not sidesweep the author. You don't have her/his brain.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
This one is for you...
I know how hopeless it feels,
When someone you love is sick,
And you don't know what to do.
I know how it hurts deep inside,
When someone you love is in pain,
And you have no idea how to help.
But i don't know how it feels,
When you lost that someone you love,
And they will never come back.
Though i had dreamed it to happen to me, i never want it to happen to you.
I'm sorry you have to go through that now.
I'm so sorry we broke off the way we did,
And thus i can't be there to comfort you as a friend should.
I'm so sorry for the fact that we're no longer speaking,
And i can't say to you the soothing words you need right now.
Here i am, writing this for you.
Be strong, i know you are.
But, do cry, because it helps to cleanse the soul, and it helps to bring back your smile.
Believe in your heart that he is at a better place now, and insya Allah, he is.
Always remember him in your prayers, ask Allah to forgive his sins and bless him with His merciful Blessings. Always. Insya Allah.
I know you have to be strong for your family,
But at times, do take a deep breath, and let the tears flow when they come.
Tears are not meant to be swallowed, they are meant to be released.
And yes, you'll be stronger after, Allah willing.
And yes, i will still be here.
Al-Fatihah for him, whom i knew, meant everything to you.
'Dengan nama Allah yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Segala puji-pujian bagi Allah, Tuhan sekalian alam. Yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Yang menguasai hari pembalasan. Kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami sembah, kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami mohon pertolongan. Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus. Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau anugerahkan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan jalan mereka yang Engkau murkai, dan bukan pula jalan mereka yang sesat.'
Amiin, ya Rabb...
When someone you love is sick,
And you don't know what to do.
I know how it hurts deep inside,
When someone you love is in pain,
And you have no idea how to help.
But i don't know how it feels,
When you lost that someone you love,
And they will never come back.
Though i had dreamed it to happen to me, i never want it to happen to you.
I'm sorry you have to go through that now.
I'm so sorry we broke off the way we did,
And thus i can't be there to comfort you as a friend should.
I'm so sorry for the fact that we're no longer speaking,
And i can't say to you the soothing words you need right now.
Here i am, writing this for you.
Be strong, i know you are.
But, do cry, because it helps to cleanse the soul, and it helps to bring back your smile.
Believe in your heart that he is at a better place now, and insya Allah, he is.
Always remember him in your prayers, ask Allah to forgive his sins and bless him with His merciful Blessings. Always. Insya Allah.
I know you have to be strong for your family,
But at times, do take a deep breath, and let the tears flow when they come.
Tears are not meant to be swallowed, they are meant to be released.
And yes, you'll be stronger after, Allah willing.
And yes, i will still be here.
Al-Fatihah for him, whom i knew, meant everything to you.
'Dengan nama Allah yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Segala puji-pujian bagi Allah, Tuhan sekalian alam. Yang maha pemurah, maha penyayang. Yang menguasai hari pembalasan. Kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami sembah, kepada-Mu sajalah yang kami mohon pertolongan. Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus. Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau anugerahkan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan jalan mereka yang Engkau murkai, dan bukan pula jalan mereka yang sesat.'
Amiin, ya Rabb...
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Seadanya... being the operative word
A conversation occured just now in a session in ustazah pilihan when the finalists went to thailand and interviewed a few couples who got married there for various reasons... (words slightly changed, i can't remember the exact words they said):
"Finalist ustazah: jadinya kenapa anda berdua berkahwin di sini, tidak di malaysia?
Lelaki: isteri pertama saya tak bagi.
(he was suspiciously young, probably still in midtwenties).
Perempuan: ibu bapa saya x restu. Kami dah berkawan 7 tahun, tapi mereka x tau kami menjalankan hubungan yang serius. Bila kami nak kahwin, mereka x bg. Apatah lagi bila mereka tau dia dah beristeri.
Finalist ustazah: apa perancangan kamu nanti? Adakah akan terus merahsiakan perkahwinan ini?
Perempuan: kami akan bagitau, slow2 pada ibu bapa. Saya nak family saya terima suami saya 'seadanya'."
There.
Seadanya. The word sounds simple enough, thrown in so commonly in conversations, i don't think people saying it even know what it really means.
'aku sayang dia, aku rela terima dia seadanya'.
'aku harap family aku boleh terima dia seadanya. Aku sayang sangat kat dia walaupun dia jahat macam tu'.
S.E.A.D.A.N.Y.A.
What does it really mean, anyway?
Seadanya atau untuk dienglishkan, accepting he/she as he/she is. Romantically viewed as loving someone so great you accept everything about him/her, flaws and goodness all in one.
But, in view of above situations, i personally think that being that romantic, using the word 'seadanya' operatively, can cause your life, blind you with witless passion and turn your back on your own parents, whose blessings are His Blessings. And so, when you turn your back on our Creator's Blessings, what will you get in your life?
I'm afraid it will be nothing but suffering and corruptions of both, marriage and family institutions, which happen so commonly nowadays, it's frightening.
Think about that before you say words so easily said without actual meaning. Choose wisely the words to say, choose wisely who do you want to spend the rest of your life with. Think. That's all i ask. Wallahualam.
"Finalist ustazah: jadinya kenapa anda berdua berkahwin di sini, tidak di malaysia?
Lelaki: isteri pertama saya tak bagi.
(he was suspiciously young, probably still in midtwenties).
Perempuan: ibu bapa saya x restu. Kami dah berkawan 7 tahun, tapi mereka x tau kami menjalankan hubungan yang serius. Bila kami nak kahwin, mereka x bg. Apatah lagi bila mereka tau dia dah beristeri.
Finalist ustazah: apa perancangan kamu nanti? Adakah akan terus merahsiakan perkahwinan ini?
Perempuan: kami akan bagitau, slow2 pada ibu bapa. Saya nak family saya terima suami saya 'seadanya'."
There.
Seadanya. The word sounds simple enough, thrown in so commonly in conversations, i don't think people saying it even know what it really means.
'aku sayang dia, aku rela terima dia seadanya'.
'aku harap family aku boleh terima dia seadanya. Aku sayang sangat kat dia walaupun dia jahat macam tu'.
S.E.A.D.A.N.Y.A.
What does it really mean, anyway?
Seadanya atau untuk dienglishkan, accepting he/she as he/she is. Romantically viewed as loving someone so great you accept everything about him/her, flaws and goodness all in one.
But, in view of above situations, i personally think that being that romantic, using the word 'seadanya' operatively, can cause your life, blind you with witless passion and turn your back on your own parents, whose blessings are His Blessings. And so, when you turn your back on our Creator's Blessings, what will you get in your life?
I'm afraid it will be nothing but suffering and corruptions of both, marriage and family institutions, which happen so commonly nowadays, it's frightening.
Think about that before you say words so easily said without actual meaning. Choose wisely the words to say, choose wisely who do you want to spend the rest of your life with. Think. That's all i ask. Wallahualam.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Things i realised this year...
Okay, i know it has not really been a year yet, with december still 2 days in coming, but well, the idea to write this came to mind when i was speeding through the road from work today, and it's pretty overwhelming then so i decided to just do it. Write it. So, here goes...
Things i realised this year:
1. I'm still not good at voicing out my opinions in details, verbally, i mean. I might get it out in 1 or 2 sentences, then someone said something, and i'll just back away. Yeah, yeah, i could still write them here, i know, clever you, but then not everyone read the junks i wrote here. So it goes without saying that i'm not outspoken, i'm just really, spoken-out. Hey, you got a new vocab there... Hahaha..
2. It's getting hard to update this blog. Heh! As you perhaps noticed it has been a while since i wrote in here, and i'm still keeping true to my principle. I tend to write things that are beneficial to me and to you, readers, because i don't see this blog as my diary or journal where i might write everything that happens to me everyday, i see it as a place for me to speak up, obviously not verbally, as you read in number 1, that i'm still not good at. So this is the tool i use to let you in into what i'm thinking, which isn't a lot lately, hence the lack of updates.
3. I still haven't found the courage to do what i want to do the most. I don't even have the guts to tell you what it is, let alone actually do it, God help me.
4. I like everything that rhymes. To think that i've been writing poems since form five, i should have realised by then that i like rhymes. But i just realised it this year, ten years later (good God, how time flies!). The way i just subconsciously smile when listening to raps or songs or words someone say that rhymes, or reading lyrics or poems or quotes that rhymes. I just love it.
5. It does hurt inside when a friend unfriended you on facebook, how ever ridiculous you believed it to be then, it does, trust me. Well, i guess, i deserved it.
6. I usually find myself trapped in useless conversations and i can't find a way out.
7. I'm such a spoiled, selfish brat. Ha! Actually i realised that a looong time ago and still i haven't improved. :p
8. As a methadone pharmacist, it's actually a good da'wah opportunity. The fact that these patients who come to us everyday, many of them vulnerable, quite a few who really intend to change for the better and all of them are lost. With the right way we can actually help to guide these people to the right path. And there's a bounty of rewards for that, insya Allah. Ironically i realised that AFTER i've passed the job over to a colleague of mine. Heh. May Allah help her and us to use that opportunity to the very best of our abilities. Ameen. :)
10. I'm actually a deep-thinker, but i hardly show it.
11. My eeman is at the lowest level of low. The weakest. Take my recent trip to langkawi, for example. There i was with my friends accompanied by a few college girls on a boat trip. And the girls, young as they are, were busy taking pics, with one girl in particular doing every pose possible with our male navigator watching with a broad smile on his face and occassionally, laughingly encouraging her on. Seeing the clothes the girl was wearing God knows what was playing in the man's mind. I knew it was wrong, i knew it right then that it is wrong for women to do things that can attract men. Exposing your 'aurat, doing seductive poses, even talking in too-soft a tone, to say a few. I knew it, but i didn't say anything. Didn't do anything. I just sat there, watching her, sometimes smiling to cover my awkwardness and there were times when i did laugh along with them. What a weak, weak person i was.
'Dari Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri RA dia berkata : Aku mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda :
“Barang siapa di antara kalian melihat suatu kemungkaran hendaklah ia mengubah dengan tangannya; jika tidak mampu, maka dengan lisannya; jika ia masih tidak mampu, maka dengan hatinya dan itu adalah selemah-lemahnya iman.” (HR. Muslim)'.
At that time i could only say it in my heart. The weakest of eeman. Me being the person who has the say-your-opinion-verbally problem. Go figure. Still trying to upgrade my eeman, insya Allah. Pray for me...
12. I might not be able to fall in love with a man, for the rest of my life. And i'm actually okay with it. Whatever people around me say. In my quest to find the one love that matters, it slowly dawns on me that that love can actually be the ONLY love that matters. His love. What more fullfilling for a creation than to love and be loved by her Creator? :)
So, there goes. I can't find it in my head what more to add... Heed whatever is beneficial, ignore the rest. Thank you.
Things i realised this year:
1. I'm still not good at voicing out my opinions in details, verbally, i mean. I might get it out in 1 or 2 sentences, then someone said something, and i'll just back away. Yeah, yeah, i could still write them here, i know, clever you, but then not everyone read the junks i wrote here. So it goes without saying that i'm not outspoken, i'm just really, spoken-out. Hey, you got a new vocab there... Hahaha..
2. It's getting hard to update this blog. Heh! As you perhaps noticed it has been a while since i wrote in here, and i'm still keeping true to my principle. I tend to write things that are beneficial to me and to you, readers, because i don't see this blog as my diary or journal where i might write everything that happens to me everyday, i see it as a place for me to speak up, obviously not verbally, as you read in number 1, that i'm still not good at. So this is the tool i use to let you in into what i'm thinking, which isn't a lot lately, hence the lack of updates.
3. I still haven't found the courage to do what i want to do the most. I don't even have the guts to tell you what it is, let alone actually do it, God help me.
4. I like everything that rhymes. To think that i've been writing poems since form five, i should have realised by then that i like rhymes. But i just realised it this year, ten years later (good God, how time flies!). The way i just subconsciously smile when listening to raps or songs or words someone say that rhymes, or reading lyrics or poems or quotes that rhymes. I just love it.
5. It does hurt inside when a friend unfriended you on facebook, how ever ridiculous you believed it to be then, it does, trust me. Well, i guess, i deserved it.
6. I usually find myself trapped in useless conversations and i can't find a way out.
7. I'm such a spoiled, selfish brat. Ha! Actually i realised that a looong time ago and still i haven't improved. :p
8. As a methadone pharmacist, it's actually a good da'wah opportunity. The fact that these patients who come to us everyday, many of them vulnerable, quite a few who really intend to change for the better and all of them are lost. With the right way we can actually help to guide these people to the right path. And there's a bounty of rewards for that, insya Allah. Ironically i realised that AFTER i've passed the job over to a colleague of mine. Heh. May Allah help her and us to use that opportunity to the very best of our abilities. Ameen. :)
10. I'm actually a deep-thinker, but i hardly show it.
11. My eeman is at the lowest level of low. The weakest. Take my recent trip to langkawi, for example. There i was with my friends accompanied by a few college girls on a boat trip. And the girls, young as they are, were busy taking pics, with one girl in particular doing every pose possible with our male navigator watching with a broad smile on his face and occassionally, laughingly encouraging her on. Seeing the clothes the girl was wearing God knows what was playing in the man's mind. I knew it was wrong, i knew it right then that it is wrong for women to do things that can attract men. Exposing your 'aurat, doing seductive poses, even talking in too-soft a tone, to say a few. I knew it, but i didn't say anything. Didn't do anything. I just sat there, watching her, sometimes smiling to cover my awkwardness and there were times when i did laugh along with them. What a weak, weak person i was.
'Dari Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri RA dia berkata : Aku mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda :
“Barang siapa di antara kalian melihat suatu kemungkaran hendaklah ia mengubah dengan tangannya; jika tidak mampu, maka dengan lisannya; jika ia masih tidak mampu, maka dengan hatinya dan itu adalah selemah-lemahnya iman.” (HR. Muslim)'.
At that time i could only say it in my heart. The weakest of eeman. Me being the person who has the say-your-opinion-verbally problem. Go figure. Still trying to upgrade my eeman, insya Allah. Pray for me...
12. I might not be able to fall in love with a man, for the rest of my life. And i'm actually okay with it. Whatever people around me say. In my quest to find the one love that matters, it slowly dawns on me that that love can actually be the ONLY love that matters. His love. What more fullfilling for a creation than to love and be loved by her Creator? :)
So, there goes. I can't find it in my head what more to add... Heed whatever is beneficial, ignore the rest. Thank you.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Rolling in the Deep by Adele, Linkin Park version is cool...
There's a fire in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare
See how I'll leave, with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do
There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hand
And you played it to the beat
Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one of you and I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Making a home down there as mine sure won't be shared
The scars of your love remind you of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hand
And you played it to the beat
Could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hand
But you played it with a beating
Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold
You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
It all, it all, it all, it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
Rolling in the deep
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
You had my heart and soul
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
And you played it to the beat
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
Could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
Rolling in the deep
(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)
You had my heart and soul in your hand
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
But you played it, you played it, you played it to the beat
p/s: tried to attach the linkin park video here with chester singing his own version, but couldn't... Isk!! Will try later... Enjoy the lyrics, they're good.... :)
Friday, November 11, 2011
Why i love One Tree Hill
Considering the fact that i just finished watching season 8 last night, i'm pretty much in a One Tree Hill blues, heh. I've talked about Linkin Park previously, quite mouthful on why i love them so much (btw, congratulation guys for winning best rock for mtv ema!! That's why i love them so much, even after 10 years, they're still going strong!!!!), and back to Tree Hill, seeing that the series is at the top of my indulgence lists on the sidebar, i should really talk/write about why it's there, why i love it so much too..
1. First of all, it's about the strong bond of friendship. Friendship between the girls, between the guys, and between the adults. We see undying loyalty in every main character towards friends, between lucas and haley at the beginning, brooke and peyton, keith and karen, and it expands widely throughout all 8 seasons with new characters. That is a remarkable theme you find so rarely in tv series. But in One Tree Hill, it shows consistently up to the eighth season i've watched just last night... Friendship that never ends between haley and brooke, nathan and mouth, added with between nathan and clay and julian and skills and chase... I always love to see guys who have lots of loyal friends, because your friends define who you are. Who you choose to befriend shows ur inner character, i believe that with all my heart.
2. Then, the series show lovely bond between siblings too, something that is rare to find in a tv series, especially between half-brothers who used to despise each other. Nathan and lucas's relationship is amazingly well-rounded and brilliantly told, that it's a wonder how they got that brilliant idea.
3. And of course, it's about love. But what i love the most about the love they show in Tree Hill is that it's honest love. It lacks scandal and stupid bed scenes, it's just love, pure and simple. And it doesn't focus on just love between a guy and a girl, but also between friends, again, between siblings, and also between parents and their kids. This wide range of love makes the series more fun and filling to watch, instead of just love between guys and girls, which gets pretty boring, if u ask me.
4. It's also a story of a sense of protectiveness. It shows in how lucas is always protective of haley, of nathan when they finally bonded, brooke of peyton, how she helped lucas saved that best friend of hers from getting raped, brooke of her adopted teenager, sam, the adults being protective of the kids, from karen and keith for lucas and nathan, from the coach wiley for his players, and then later from nathan and the rest of his friends for his son jamie. It's amazing to watch that sense of protectiveness never fades up till the latest season.
5. And also, i love the fact that almost every episode starts with brilliant quotes from smart people. Quotes that define each episode and provide an identity of its own to the series. I learn to collect quotes after watching the series, quotes which help me to be a thinker, instead of just a do-er. And that is something valuable you rarely learned from tv series.
6. And yeah, the joking dialogues are funny too. Most of the time, they're told in such a cool, carefree way that it makes it even more hillarious and believable. How funny scenes like when brooke got so drunk that she forgot haley's name, whom she always called Tutor Girl, and named her Brooke, instead, still got me rolling with laughter, doesn't matter how many times i've watched it.
7. The morals in the stories are loadful. How friends should always help each other, like brooke, however naughty she was, she was still the one who helped to hook up haley and nathan in the first place, and as that relationship is still going strong makes it remarkable to watch.
8. The tears, the arguments, the emotions portrayed in the series seem so real that i laughed and cried alongside them. The series tell honest stories, that can happen anywhere, anytime, and that makes it special and again, rare. It's not a stereotype story of upper class people, but a story of even the lowest class of people working their way to the top. And that is one heck of a strong storyline.
9. It's also a story of changing for good. The most prominent example is how Nathan the spoiled playboy became the most loving brother, friend and later husband and father. How amazing it is that his love for Haley makes him a better man than before. And also Brooke the playful playgirl who became such a smart, always kindhearted, talented, protective and loving person. It's always a nice plot, whether it be tv series, movies or novels, when the characters evolve to become better person. In a way, this series help me to become a better person too.
10. The stories also taught me about karma. That good things will happen to good people, and vice versa. How the most villainous of all villains, Dan Scott got what he deserved for what he did. He killed his own brother, and at the end he spend his life alone, without his sons, his wife, or his grandson, or his friends.
11. I have so many, many unforgettable scenes from the series. The drunken Brooke i mentioned earlier. The look on Haley's face when Nathan put the kiddy bracelet on her wrist and then later when he kissed her for the first time with I Dare You to Move song from Switchfoot playing at the background. The look on Nathan's face when Haley sang for the first time. The look on Lucas's face when Nathan deliberately crashed the racing car he was driving to the wall, devastated that Haley had left him. I looked everywhere for the soundtrack for that specific scene, it was Like a Man Possessed. I forgot who sang it. The look on Brooke's face when she adopted the baby girl briefly. The look on Julian's face when Brooke went to him finally. So many i can't simply just write here... Unforgettable scenes with their own lessons to learn.
12. It's a story of growing up, maturing up from high school kids into adults with responsibilities. The stories show how the characters grow and mature, and just like with Linkin Park, i grow up and mature up alongside these people in One Tree Hill as i follow the stories through. And that is something i find so valuable to have as my life goes on.
13. The fact that each character has his/her own personality and identity also makes me love the series more. That is another remarkable trait in a tv series, which i hardly find in others. Peyton with her devil-may-care attitude, kind, minding my own business behaviour and vulnerabilities, despite her trying very hard not to show them. Lucas with his natural good boy, a mother's son character, always protective and positive, a loving son, brother and lover. Brooke with her funny outrageous remarks, smart mind and loving and very protective and very kind to everyone she loves. Nathan with his admirable transformation of bad-boy-turned-good, a loving and dotted husband and father, a strong, hardworking man, and a protective, supportive friend. Haley, who has a mind of her own, her own principle of things which she holds so strongly onto, her remarkable strength and her love for her family and friends. These are the main characters i follow along as they grow up. There are others too, with their own characteristics. Remarkable ones.
14. The fact that these actors, even outside the series are all generally well-behaved shows that the series' wonderful theme taught them a lot too. How they remain good friends outside shooting, even got married in case of chad (lucas) and sophia (brooke) briefly, which makes me really feel like kicking chad's $&@ when they got divorced, but that was as much little scandal you could get from the casts. The rest are just wonderful stories. Chad settles down with his new fiancee, sophia is busy being charitable and eco-friendly all around the world with her new boyfriend and she sure does have a strong voice fighting woman and child abuse. Smart lady, that one. Bethany (Haley) settles down with her husband and new baby girl, james (nathan) enjoying his life but carefully keeping away from bad habits, good boy. Hillary (peyton) settles somewhere too. It's just, you hardly hear any scandalous stories about the casts of One Tree Hill and that is saying something. That reflects back on the series and shows that it succeeds in promoting good things, instead of bad ones.
15. And yeah, a story with sport as it's main theme is always interesting to watch. And they do play one heck of basketball games. :)
16. Last but definitely not the least, they have cool songs. One more thing unique about One Tree Hill is that it promotes singing artists that we sometimes never even heard of. And they're good too. Amazing, actually. I tried to collect soundtracks from the series because they all sound wonderful, and bethany joy galeotti really CAN sing. She's very good. The fact that peyton's red bedroom turned into a cool studio with artists flowing from it is something u don't get from any other series. And the song I Don't Wanna Be, Gavin DeGraw suits the series so well, it might as well become phenomenally evergreen.
All in all, this is it. The series, the storylines, the quotes, the casts with their amazing characters and characteristics, the laughter, the tears, the songs are all wonderfully created that i fall in love with them all. Like the word 'Fortitude' Clay chose for his agency, it actually describes the whole of One Tree Hill. Fortitude is a strong word with a strong meaning and these group of people, these 'unkindness of ravens' in One Tree Hill do have their own 'fortitude', their own strength, that makes them different from any other series, and that... is why i love it so much. :)
1. First of all, it's about the strong bond of friendship. Friendship between the girls, between the guys, and between the adults. We see undying loyalty in every main character towards friends, between lucas and haley at the beginning, brooke and peyton, keith and karen, and it expands widely throughout all 8 seasons with new characters. That is a remarkable theme you find so rarely in tv series. But in One Tree Hill, it shows consistently up to the eighth season i've watched just last night... Friendship that never ends between haley and brooke, nathan and mouth, added with between nathan and clay and julian and skills and chase... I always love to see guys who have lots of loyal friends, because your friends define who you are. Who you choose to befriend shows ur inner character, i believe that with all my heart.
2. Then, the series show lovely bond between siblings too, something that is rare to find in a tv series, especially between half-brothers who used to despise each other. Nathan and lucas's relationship is amazingly well-rounded and brilliantly told, that it's a wonder how they got that brilliant idea.
3. And of course, it's about love. But what i love the most about the love they show in Tree Hill is that it's honest love. It lacks scandal and stupid bed scenes, it's just love, pure and simple. And it doesn't focus on just love between a guy and a girl, but also between friends, again, between siblings, and also between parents and their kids. This wide range of love makes the series more fun and filling to watch, instead of just love between guys and girls, which gets pretty boring, if u ask me.
4. It's also a story of a sense of protectiveness. It shows in how lucas is always protective of haley, of nathan when they finally bonded, brooke of peyton, how she helped lucas saved that best friend of hers from getting raped, brooke of her adopted teenager, sam, the adults being protective of the kids, from karen and keith for lucas and nathan, from the coach wiley for his players, and then later from nathan and the rest of his friends for his son jamie. It's amazing to watch that sense of protectiveness never fades up till the latest season.
5. And also, i love the fact that almost every episode starts with brilliant quotes from smart people. Quotes that define each episode and provide an identity of its own to the series. I learn to collect quotes after watching the series, quotes which help me to be a thinker, instead of just a do-er. And that is something valuable you rarely learned from tv series.
6. And yeah, the joking dialogues are funny too. Most of the time, they're told in such a cool, carefree way that it makes it even more hillarious and believable. How funny scenes like when brooke got so drunk that she forgot haley's name, whom she always called Tutor Girl, and named her Brooke, instead, still got me rolling with laughter, doesn't matter how many times i've watched it.
7. The morals in the stories are loadful. How friends should always help each other, like brooke, however naughty she was, she was still the one who helped to hook up haley and nathan in the first place, and as that relationship is still going strong makes it remarkable to watch.
8. The tears, the arguments, the emotions portrayed in the series seem so real that i laughed and cried alongside them. The series tell honest stories, that can happen anywhere, anytime, and that makes it special and again, rare. It's not a stereotype story of upper class people, but a story of even the lowest class of people working their way to the top. And that is one heck of a strong storyline.
9. It's also a story of changing for good. The most prominent example is how Nathan the spoiled playboy became the most loving brother, friend and later husband and father. How amazing it is that his love for Haley makes him a better man than before. And also Brooke the playful playgirl who became such a smart, always kindhearted, talented, protective and loving person. It's always a nice plot, whether it be tv series, movies or novels, when the characters evolve to become better person. In a way, this series help me to become a better person too.
10. The stories also taught me about karma. That good things will happen to good people, and vice versa. How the most villainous of all villains, Dan Scott got what he deserved for what he did. He killed his own brother, and at the end he spend his life alone, without his sons, his wife, or his grandson, or his friends.
11. I have so many, many unforgettable scenes from the series. The drunken Brooke i mentioned earlier. The look on Haley's face when Nathan put the kiddy bracelet on her wrist and then later when he kissed her for the first time with I Dare You to Move song from Switchfoot playing at the background. The look on Nathan's face when Haley sang for the first time. The look on Lucas's face when Nathan deliberately crashed the racing car he was driving to the wall, devastated that Haley had left him. I looked everywhere for the soundtrack for that specific scene, it was Like a Man Possessed. I forgot who sang it. The look on Brooke's face when she adopted the baby girl briefly. The look on Julian's face when Brooke went to him finally. So many i can't simply just write here... Unforgettable scenes with their own lessons to learn.
12. It's a story of growing up, maturing up from high school kids into adults with responsibilities. The stories show how the characters grow and mature, and just like with Linkin Park, i grow up and mature up alongside these people in One Tree Hill as i follow the stories through. And that is something i find so valuable to have as my life goes on.
13. The fact that each character has his/her own personality and identity also makes me love the series more. That is another remarkable trait in a tv series, which i hardly find in others. Peyton with her devil-may-care attitude, kind, minding my own business behaviour and vulnerabilities, despite her trying very hard not to show them. Lucas with his natural good boy, a mother's son character, always protective and positive, a loving son, brother and lover. Brooke with her funny outrageous remarks, smart mind and loving and very protective and very kind to everyone she loves. Nathan with his admirable transformation of bad-boy-turned-good, a loving and dotted husband and father, a strong, hardworking man, and a protective, supportive friend. Haley, who has a mind of her own, her own principle of things which she holds so strongly onto, her remarkable strength and her love for her family and friends. These are the main characters i follow along as they grow up. There are others too, with their own characteristics. Remarkable ones.
14. The fact that these actors, even outside the series are all generally well-behaved shows that the series' wonderful theme taught them a lot too. How they remain good friends outside shooting, even got married in case of chad (lucas) and sophia (brooke) briefly, which makes me really feel like kicking chad's $&@ when they got divorced, but that was as much little scandal you could get from the casts. The rest are just wonderful stories. Chad settles down with his new fiancee, sophia is busy being charitable and eco-friendly all around the world with her new boyfriend and she sure does have a strong voice fighting woman and child abuse. Smart lady, that one. Bethany (Haley) settles down with her husband and new baby girl, james (nathan) enjoying his life but carefully keeping away from bad habits, good boy. Hillary (peyton) settles somewhere too. It's just, you hardly hear any scandalous stories about the casts of One Tree Hill and that is saying something. That reflects back on the series and shows that it succeeds in promoting good things, instead of bad ones.
15. And yeah, a story with sport as it's main theme is always interesting to watch. And they do play one heck of basketball games. :)
16. Last but definitely not the least, they have cool songs. One more thing unique about One Tree Hill is that it promotes singing artists that we sometimes never even heard of. And they're good too. Amazing, actually. I tried to collect soundtracks from the series because they all sound wonderful, and bethany joy galeotti really CAN sing. She's very good. The fact that peyton's red bedroom turned into a cool studio with artists flowing from it is something u don't get from any other series. And the song I Don't Wanna Be, Gavin DeGraw suits the series so well, it might as well become phenomenally evergreen.
All in all, this is it. The series, the storylines, the quotes, the casts with their amazing characters and characteristics, the laughter, the tears, the songs are all wonderfully created that i fall in love with them all. Like the word 'Fortitude' Clay chose for his agency, it actually describes the whole of One Tree Hill. Fortitude is a strong word with a strong meaning and these group of people, these 'unkindness of ravens' in One Tree Hill do have their own 'fortitude', their own strength, that makes them different from any other series, and that... is why i love it so much. :)
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Stronger
Ooh, hey, yeah hush,
just stop
There's nothing you can do or say, baby
I've had enough
I'm not your property
As from today, baby
You might think that
I won't make it on my own
But now I’m
Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
I am stronger
Than I ever thought
That I could be, baby
I used to go with the flow
Didn't really care ‘bout me
You might think that
I can’t take it but you’re wrong
'Cause now I’m
Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
I am stronger
Come on now
Oh, yeah
Here I go, on my own
I don’t need nobody, better off alone
Here I go, on my own, now
I don’t need nobody, not anybody
Here I go
Alright
Here I go
Stronger than yesterday
It's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
I am stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
Now I am stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
Iam stronger
P/s: even britney spears used to have the time when the lyrics of her song were inspiring... ;)
just stop
There's nothing you can do or say, baby
I've had enough
I'm not your property
As from today, baby
You might think that
I won't make it on my own
But now I’m
Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
I am stronger
Than I ever thought
That I could be, baby
I used to go with the flow
Didn't really care ‘bout me
You might think that
I can’t take it but you’re wrong
'Cause now I’m
Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
I am stronger
Come on now
Oh, yeah
Here I go, on my own
I don’t need nobody, better off alone
Here I go, on my own, now
I don’t need nobody, not anybody
Here I go
Alright
Here I go
Stronger than yesterday
It's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
I am stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
Now I am stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
Iam stronger
P/s: even britney spears used to have the time when the lyrics of her song were inspiring... ;)
Friday, October 7, 2011
City Sisters
I stumbled upon this series today, aired on tvalhijrah at 12noon. it was already half an hour through when i flipped to the channel after finished watching usrah on tv9 with my mother. the series include a group of muslimah from united kingdoms, gathered together, beautifully attired and completely covered in abayas and scarves, talking and discussing about these days issues, especially concerning muslimah all around the world. today's issue was a bit hazy to me since i watched it in the middle, but towards the end they did some recap of previous episodes and i got the general idea. they discussed women, islam and they bring in new members too. even new sisters who just recently converted into islam.
i got interested to know more about the show, so i 'yahooed' it, heh. i found the official website here:
as i browsed through the website, i found out that this show's presenters came from different walks of life, from single women to married ones with families and jobs and different obligations and races. however, all of them shared the common similarity which is they are all muslims, and they are there to share and voice out their knowledges and opinions regarding islam. quite exraordinary when reading the audiences' comments regarding the show. how the show proved to be one of the significant tools for them to know and understand islam better. and these comments came from muslimahs in non-muslim countries all over the world. it shows that this series has helped women to strengthen their faith, especially those whom we know as 'saudara/i baru' or new sisters amidst non-muslim community, which can be hard to do.
they also put up summaries of previous episodes and i got to read all of them. the topics vary from 'living for akhirah' to 'attaining taqwa' to 'peer pressure' to 'education and careers for sisters'. and they talked about them in a simple straight forward manner, so that viewers can easily understand.
it's interesting to know that a small group of muslimahs in a non-muslim country manage to provide such a thorough insight of islam and broadcast it worldwide, compared to us, here, in a muslim country where wearing hijab is now a matter of trend instead of obligation. there is a point to ponder there.
which brings me to point out that there is a lot of programs for muslimah locally. we should be grateful that the awareness is there, although still weak since the programs sometimes skidded away from the original path of guiding our women towards understanding islam better. maybe we should provide more interesting talks added with travelling to siginifcant places, instead of overwhelming the screen with the newest trends of hijabs and busana.. or islamic dramas with the actresses freely flaunting their crowns when they are no longer shooting.
media plays a vital role in guiding people, especially those who enjoy them. it's true that we are targetting the youths of the nation to be better person. it's a commendable effort when shows such as imam muda and ustazah pilihan start to bring out more knowledge about islam. let's just pray that these shows will not stray away from their true intentions.
media is there to provide knowledge, the right knowledge to people, to youths, not to confuse them further. islam is to be understood, learned and practised, and media is one of the significant tools to provide that. let's just hope it won't be misused with all the gimicks and the extravaganza that seemed to flood the channels these days.
or else, it might be best to just have a simple show like the City Sisters where peers sit down and talk and travel occasionally, and still can change their comrades all around the world into being better persons and strengthening their faith in the religion of islam. which is actually what we should aim to do. really.
i got interested to know more about the show, so i 'yahooed' it, heh. i found the official website here:
as i browsed through the website, i found out that this show's presenters came from different walks of life, from single women to married ones with families and jobs and different obligations and races. however, all of them shared the common similarity which is they are all muslims, and they are there to share and voice out their knowledges and opinions regarding islam. quite exraordinary when reading the audiences' comments regarding the show. how the show proved to be one of the significant tools for them to know and understand islam better. and these comments came from muslimahs in non-muslim countries all over the world. it shows that this series has helped women to strengthen their faith, especially those whom we know as 'saudara/i baru' or new sisters amidst non-muslim community, which can be hard to do.
they also put up summaries of previous episodes and i got to read all of them. the topics vary from 'living for akhirah' to 'attaining taqwa' to 'peer pressure' to 'education and careers for sisters'. and they talked about them in a simple straight forward manner, so that viewers can easily understand.
it's interesting to know that a small group of muslimahs in a non-muslim country manage to provide such a thorough insight of islam and broadcast it worldwide, compared to us, here, in a muslim country where wearing hijab is now a matter of trend instead of obligation. there is a point to ponder there.
which brings me to point out that there is a lot of programs for muslimah locally. we should be grateful that the awareness is there, although still weak since the programs sometimes skidded away from the original path of guiding our women towards understanding islam better. maybe we should provide more interesting talks added with travelling to siginifcant places, instead of overwhelming the screen with the newest trends of hijabs and busana.. or islamic dramas with the actresses freely flaunting their crowns when they are no longer shooting.
media plays a vital role in guiding people, especially those who enjoy them. it's true that we are targetting the youths of the nation to be better person. it's a commendable effort when shows such as imam muda and ustazah pilihan start to bring out more knowledge about islam. let's just pray that these shows will not stray away from their true intentions.
media is there to provide knowledge, the right knowledge to people, to youths, not to confuse them further. islam is to be understood, learned and practised, and media is one of the significant tools to provide that. let's just hope it won't be misused with all the gimicks and the extravaganza that seemed to flood the channels these days.
or else, it might be best to just have a simple show like the City Sisters where peers sit down and talk and travel occasionally, and still can change their comrades all around the world into being better persons and strengthening their faith in the religion of islam. which is actually what we should aim to do. really.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
September yang pertama...
Alhamdulillah masih lagi boleh bernafas, berkongsi oksigen dengan segenap makhluk-Nya...
Alhamdulillah nadi masih lagi berdenyut...
Alhamdulillah anggota badan masih mampu bergerak menuruti arahan fikiran...
Alhamdulillah mata masih mampu melihat...
Alhamdulillah telinga masih mampu mendengar...
Alhamdulillah lidah masih mampu bertutur...
Alhamdulillah bibir masih mampu tersenyum...
Alhamdulillah hidung masih mampu menghidu harum ciptaan-Mu...
Alhamdulillah ya Allah, hari ini masih mampu kulalui dengan hati yang gembira, dengan tawa yang ria, dengan rasa syukur pada-Mu, ya Allah...
Alhamdulillah september yang pertama tahun ini kujejaki jua, seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya, tarikh simbolik bertambahnya usiaku, kematanganku dan ilmuku...
Alhamdulillah untuk segala-galanya ya Allah...
Dan seperti tahun sebelum ini september ini masih lagi bulan kegemaran di kalangan 12 bulan masihi, masih lagi bulan yang menandakan pembaharuan... A new department, a new type of job to go through, a new kind of challenge.
Alhamdulillah for the positive thoughts you've given me ya Allah, to go through this...
Alhamdulillah for the past 27 years of life you've given me ya Allah, may You always guide me along for the years to come till my time is done. Amin ya Rabbal'alamin...
Alhamdulillah nadi masih lagi berdenyut...
Alhamdulillah anggota badan masih mampu bergerak menuruti arahan fikiran...
Alhamdulillah mata masih mampu melihat...
Alhamdulillah telinga masih mampu mendengar...
Alhamdulillah lidah masih mampu bertutur...
Alhamdulillah bibir masih mampu tersenyum...
Alhamdulillah hidung masih mampu menghidu harum ciptaan-Mu...
Alhamdulillah ya Allah, hari ini masih mampu kulalui dengan hati yang gembira, dengan tawa yang ria, dengan rasa syukur pada-Mu, ya Allah...
Alhamdulillah september yang pertama tahun ini kujejaki jua, seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya, tarikh simbolik bertambahnya usiaku, kematanganku dan ilmuku...
Alhamdulillah untuk segala-galanya ya Allah...
Dan seperti tahun sebelum ini september ini masih lagi bulan kegemaran di kalangan 12 bulan masihi, masih lagi bulan yang menandakan pembaharuan... A new department, a new type of job to go through, a new kind of challenge.
Alhamdulillah for the positive thoughts you've given me ya Allah, to go through this...
Alhamdulillah for the past 27 years of life you've given me ya Allah, may You always guide me along for the years to come till my time is done. Amin ya Rabbal'alamin...
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Awake and Alive
Awake And Alive lyrics
Songwriters: Cooper, John; Howes, Brian;
I'm at war with the world
And they try to pull me into the dark
I struggle to find my faith
As I'm slipping from your arms
It's getting harder to stay awake
And my strength is fading fast
You breathe into me at last
I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life
(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake, and I'm alive
I'm at war with the world
'Cause I ain't never gonna sell my soul
I've already made up my mind
No matter what, I can't be bought or sold
When my faith is getting weak
And I feel like giving in
You breathe into me again
I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/skillet-lyrics/awake-and-alive-lyrics-18.html )
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life
(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake, and I'm alive
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up in the dark
I can feel you in my sleep
In your arms, I feel you breathe into me
Forever hold this heart that I will give to you
Forever I will live for you
I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life
(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake, and I'm alive
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
these lyrics are submitted by FF5 Fan
these lyrics are last corrected by patricia leslie
One cool song amidst quite a few amazing music taken from the official soundtracks for the Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon.
Songwriters: Cooper, John; Howes, Brian;
I'm at war with the world
And they try to pull me into the dark
I struggle to find my faith
As I'm slipping from your arms
It's getting harder to stay awake
And my strength is fading fast
You breathe into me at last
I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life
(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake, and I'm alive
I'm at war with the world
'Cause I ain't never gonna sell my soul
I've already made up my mind
No matter what, I can't be bought or sold
When my faith is getting weak
And I feel like giving in
You breathe into me again
I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/skillet-lyrics/awake-and-alive-lyrics-18.html )
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life
(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake, and I'm alive
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up in the dark
I can feel you in my sleep
In your arms, I feel you breathe into me
Forever hold this heart that I will give to you
Forever I will live for you
I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life
(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake, and I'm alive
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
these lyrics are submitted by FF5 Fan
these lyrics are last corrected by patricia leslie
One cool song amidst quite a few amazing music taken from the official soundtracks for the Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Testing mobile blogging
Dengan ini diisytiharkan saya sudah menginstall kemudahan utk blogging secara mobile. Cuba untuk mengisi kekosongan. Mungkin dgn mobile blogging macam ni, blog ni akan lebih mudah diupdate. Walaupun secara jujurnye, saya x suka mengupdate blog tanpa apa2 input yg boleh mendatangkan manfaat kepada pembacanya. Macam sekarang. Fikiran masih lagi kosong tanpa apa2 idea, sekadar membaca coretan2 lama dengan senyum kecil di bibir dan perasaan wonder itu. Wondering how at one time i had so much ideas to write, sampai tangan x terkejar nak menulis. Wondering how those ideas can easily elude me nowadays... Mungkin banyak sangat dosa sekarang. Rezeki utk idea itu Tuhan sekat dulu. Wallahualam. Tersangat ingin idea itu datang kembali, saat ini... God, help me...
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Hollow. Vacant. Empty.
Hollow tu maknanya ruang yang kosong. Vacant tu selalu diertikan dengan pandangan yang kosong. Empty tu memang dah maklum la maksudnya kosong. so, those three words basically describe the same thing. hollowness. vacancy. emptiness. which is bila diterjemahkan kepada lingua franca tanah melayu jadinya satu perkataan je: KOSONG.
i'm sorry for the fact that this blog has been 'kosong' for such a long time. it's just the way it is. it's just the way to tell that the writer here is having one of those meltdowns when her mind is hollow, her stare is vacant and her heart is empty.
when my mind is working overtime without actually thinking, it's hollow. when my eyes are looking without actually seeing, my gaze is vacant. when my heart is aching without actually feeling anything, it is empty. void.
dan apakah sebab musababnya kekosongan ini datang menyerang, saya sendiri tak tau. but, like a human body which God creates to respond automatically to any changes on it, i react too, to this emptiness. to try desperately to fill up this hollowness. though the only thing that could actually fill up this vacancy is tears. lots and lots and lots of tears.
and still, kekosongan itu masih tetap dirasa. God help me...
i'm sorry for the fact that this blog has been 'kosong' for such a long time. it's just the way it is. it's just the way to tell that the writer here is having one of those meltdowns when her mind is hollow, her stare is vacant and her heart is empty.
when my mind is working overtime without actually thinking, it's hollow. when my eyes are looking without actually seeing, my gaze is vacant. when my heart is aching without actually feeling anything, it is empty. void.
dan apakah sebab musababnya kekosongan ini datang menyerang, saya sendiri tak tau. but, like a human body which God creates to respond automatically to any changes on it, i react too, to this emptiness. to try desperately to fill up this hollowness. though the only thing that could actually fill up this vacancy is tears. lots and lots and lots of tears.
and still, kekosongan itu masih tetap dirasa. God help me...
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Broken
for lack of things to write... and i dunno why i like the word 'broken' so much... but here's the lyric for the beautiful song from lifehouse... i've highlighted what i'm feeling...
The broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can start tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you
The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
(In the pain)
Is there healing?
In your name
(In your name)
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm barely holding on to you
I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be okay
Broken lights on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
I haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
(In the pain)
There is healing
In your name
(In your name)
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm barely holding on to you
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm barely holding on to you
p/s: i want to post the song here, but then i'm tired and sleepy now.. maybe next time. till then, bye...
The broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can start tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you
The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
(In the pain)
Is there healing?
In your name
(In your name)
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm barely holding on to you
I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be okay
Broken lights on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
I haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
(In the pain)
There is healing
In your name
(In your name)
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm barely holding on to you
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm barely holding on to you
p/s: i want to post the song here, but then i'm tired and sleepy now.. maybe next time. till then, bye...
Thursday, June 16, 2011
list of dreams
saya ketandusan idea nak menulis. menulis di blog. menulis in general. this is what came up when i'm out of light. light of ideas, i mean. i'll try to make this short. because i notice most my entries are soooo long... heh... but, then, on second thought, yang ni pun rasanya akan panjang jugak... and boring... so, u're free to go... bye...
1. saya nak jadi berani
2. saya nak publish cerita yang saya tulis, tapi tiada no. 1 tu lagi.. camne???
3. saya nak main drum. sebab saya sangat suka percussion, tapi tak pernah berpeluang untuk belajar. setiap lagu yang saya dengar, the first beat yang caught my ears are the drumbeats. baru gitar. the way i define good music is when they have good drum tracks... and/or gitar goreng yg best...
4. saya nak belajar drift. tapi tak reti bawak kereta manual. heh.
5. saya nak jadi isteri yang baik. (whoa!!!!!!!!!! dari mana datangnya tu?????????????) heh...
6. saya nak jadi pandai memasak. malangnya saya malas. dan x pandai. :(
7. saya nak berkorban untuk something that matters. love, maybe? berangan that i give up everything to give someone i love something priceless. nyet! that was me being hopelessly romantic, i guess.
8. saya nak buat something that can mean something good to someone. tapi tak de talent. dan keberanian. again.
9. saya nak ada anak/anak2. and love them with all my heart as best i can.
10. saya nak jadi muslimah yang berjihad. again, keberanian itu sangat penting. that is why it's the top on my list here.
11. saya nak travel around the world. bukan sekadar untuk ambil gambar dan tengok view. tapi nak hayati cara hidup. nak berbakti mana yang boleh ditolong. bermusafir. bersyukur. takjub dengan ciptaan Tuhan yang luas ini.
12. saya nak pergi buat haji. nak jejak kaki lagi di Mekah dan Madinah. rindu sangat...
13. saya nak pergi Baitulmuqaddis. nak pergi negara2 islam yang susah dan tolong.
14. saya nak tulis lirik untuk linkin park. haha.
15. kadang-kadang saya berangan kahwin anak raja. so saya boleh berhenti kerja sekarang, dan buat khidmat sosial, bantu orang susah all over the countries. heh.
16. saya nak bekerja dengan spirit. bukan semata-mata bekerja, tapi tak dapat apa-apa in return. yes, dapat gaji. but gaji is just money. knowledge, wisdom, ikhlas, khidmat dengan hati tu yang lagi penting.
17. saya nak berhenti rasa malas setiap kali bangun pagi nak pergi kerja.
18. saya nak jadi happy. dan bersyukur dengan apa yang ada, which is a lot. tapi tu pun payah nak buat bila jealousy datang menyerang. i hate jealousy. :(
19. saya nak tamatkan list ni dengan something bombastik, tapi...
20. saya nak... dah out of light. again. aduih. this rattling is ridiculous, tapi it feels good to let it out. sorry, though. pretty boring. and insightless. clueless.
bye.
1. saya nak jadi berani
2. saya nak publish cerita yang saya tulis, tapi tiada no. 1 tu lagi.. camne???
3. saya nak main drum. sebab saya sangat suka percussion, tapi tak pernah berpeluang untuk belajar. setiap lagu yang saya dengar, the first beat yang caught my ears are the drumbeats. baru gitar. the way i define good music is when they have good drum tracks... and/or gitar goreng yg best...
4. saya nak belajar drift. tapi tak reti bawak kereta manual. heh.
5. saya nak jadi isteri yang baik. (whoa!!!!!!!!!! dari mana datangnya tu?????????????) heh...
6. saya nak jadi pandai memasak. malangnya saya malas. dan x pandai. :(
7. saya nak berkorban untuk something that matters. love, maybe? berangan that i give up everything to give someone i love something priceless. nyet! that was me being hopelessly romantic, i guess.
8. saya nak buat something that can mean something good to someone. tapi tak de talent. dan keberanian. again.
9. saya nak ada anak/anak2. and love them with all my heart as best i can.
10. saya nak jadi muslimah yang berjihad. again, keberanian itu sangat penting. that is why it's the top on my list here.
11. saya nak travel around the world. bukan sekadar untuk ambil gambar dan tengok view. tapi nak hayati cara hidup. nak berbakti mana yang boleh ditolong. bermusafir. bersyukur. takjub dengan ciptaan Tuhan yang luas ini.
12. saya nak pergi buat haji. nak jejak kaki lagi di Mekah dan Madinah. rindu sangat...
13. saya nak pergi Baitulmuqaddis. nak pergi negara2 islam yang susah dan tolong.
14. saya nak tulis lirik untuk linkin park. haha.
15. kadang-kadang saya berangan kahwin anak raja. so saya boleh berhenti kerja sekarang, dan buat khidmat sosial, bantu orang susah all over the countries. heh.
16. saya nak bekerja dengan spirit. bukan semata-mata bekerja, tapi tak dapat apa-apa in return. yes, dapat gaji. but gaji is just money. knowledge, wisdom, ikhlas, khidmat dengan hati tu yang lagi penting.
17. saya nak berhenti rasa malas setiap kali bangun pagi nak pergi kerja.
18. saya nak jadi happy. dan bersyukur dengan apa yang ada, which is a lot. tapi tu pun payah nak buat bila jealousy datang menyerang. i hate jealousy. :(
19. saya nak tamatkan list ni dengan something bombastik, tapi...
20. saya nak... dah out of light. again. aduih. this rattling is ridiculous, tapi it feels good to let it out. sorry, though. pretty boring. and insightless. clueless.
bye.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
