black cat...

okay, not trying to be superstitious or anything, but a black cat just crossed the street on my way to work today, and it was two lanes per way street, mind you, and it went running right across, and when i say running, i mean it running very fast when cars were zooming by both ways (including mine)... and survived.
what does it make me, do you think? i mean, a black cat that lucky can't actually bring bad luck to people, can it? so, the saying when a black cat crosses your path, you'll expect something bad to happen kinda goes out the window, huh? i mean that black cat did cross my path, literally (or is it figuratively? whatever...)... heh. with a style too. i was laughing to myself watching it...
well, hm, maybe it was not a black cat after all. maybe it was a dark grey cat. or a black and white tompok-tompok cat.i wouldn't know for sure. like i said, it was running very fast, and i was driving, for God's sake, takkan nak stop in the middle of the right lane... kang jadi betul balik pulak the superstitious saying... heh...
but whatever... i say, you just make my day, cat.

lack of things 2 say...

yeah, yeah, i know... what am i doing with a blog if i'm not to use it, not to update it... but it's not for lack of trying, because God knows i tried... tried so hard to say something here.. just couldn't...ni tetiba mengupdate pun sebab tadi terbaca blog kawan... datang la aura nak update blog sendiri...
many things happen for the past month... (hah, it's been a month? already? kesian this blog...:)) but then, what happened was too huge to put into words...
no, i'm not married (rolling eyes)... is that the only reason why people don't have time to blog? because of the huge commitment? nooo... ramai je orang dah kawin boleh blogging...
ookay... apakehalnya keluar topik kawin pulak ni??
haa, yes, it's the wedding season... again... thinking back, i think wedding season macam tak de season la pulak sebenarnya... macam happen all year long je...
1 of my best friends got married,um, bila ye? terlupa pulak the exact date... never mind, but it was grand... surprisingly so, but then it took her six months to prepare (buat bunga pahar sendiri, from scratch tu, kagum betul aku dengan minah ni sorang), it should be a day to be remembered... so happy for her... seronok pergi wedding dia, because i felt myself getting into the event, sebab duduk rumah dia, spent the night, tolong pakaikan inai, tolong letak telur dalam bunga pahar, tolong kemas katil pengantin.. and yes, we still spent the night together on her wedding night...hahaha.. kesian the unfortunate groom... but then, we were happy...
i was happy... although masa tu fikiran ada juga pada that 'too-huge-to-put-into-words thing', which i'll tell you later, but then i can still feel the spirit of the party.. meriah siap ada bunga api kat langit lagi tuh!
then, last two days, another best friend got enggaged... i didn't go this time, and regretted it, but then jauh... and got another wedding here... but, yes Insya Allah, her wedding nanti memang kena pergi two days before and stayed two days after! heh!
so, tu la jadinya, i'm talking about weddings again... for lack of topics to talk about... seriously...
attending weddings kinda remind me of those long ago time when we, my family were preparing for weddings for my sis and bros... meriah... best... macam-macam kerenah... kinda make me remember back all those time watching my father doing the akad to the nervous grooms (my bros-in-law, now), kinda make me think when my time eventually come...
will he be there doing the akad too??
you see, that too-huge-to-put-into-words thing is about my father... he's not well these days...
he's been doing hospital-hopping for quite sometimes now, ada la jugak sampai dua bulan dah kot (hence the long time no update here)... ijn, hkl, kpj, kts... dah sampai serik dah pun dia nak duk hospital, especially gov hospital... and i, being a healthcare pro that i am, feel kinda helpless, because i don't know what else i can do for him... even the docs are still figuring out what is wrong with him... although the main reason is kinda obvious... his heart is troubling him... it has been like that for a long time, only now, it gets worse...
and you know, feeling helpless doesn't get you anywhere...
and of course, people will say, just be there with him, help him do whatever he needs to do, but guess what? that is easier, very, very much easier said than done... hm...
nice... i'm going from festive mood of weddings to depressing mood of hospital-hopping in split seconds... you would think i have a talent in writing...heh...peace out.

why i liked nur kasih (note the past tense)

so, here goes... selepas sekian lama tak menjenguk blog, tetiba jenguk, nak buat topik ni la pulak.. why i liked nur kasih... okay, past tense? yeah, because i don't like it as much as i did before...
but to start with why i liked it in the first place... is because it's the first (i think, as far as i know) long drama on our national tv yg actually reveal out islamic theme.. mungkin banyak yg ada dekat tv9, or oasis, or apa lagi tu, but then it's the first (again, i think, sebab x byk sgt tgk national tv sebenarnya, byk lyn star movies, hbo) dekat tv3... yg sebelum ni duk menayang citer macam spaQ, matahari yg entah apa-apa motifnya... moral yg boleh diambik pun mekap la banyak2, lepas tu ngorat la sebanyak lelaki yg boleh.. what... the... hell...?
then, tetiba keluarla nur kasih... hv 2 admit, x tengok pun first episode, sebab x sedar pun kewujudannya... apabila sedar, terbit kagum itu di hati... haa... now a malay story which i can actually watch without cringing from make up and stupid dare-you-to-bite-me glances... now, here comes a malay story which we can actually learn something... debate something...now, at last...
senyap dah sekejap malay drama yang mengaku malay drama, tapi speaking omputih memanjang, pastu pakai baju yang dah bukan takat menjolok mata, dah mencolok mata, menonyoh mata, segala ada...i mean, come on la... ada budaya sendiri, buat la budaya sendiri... malay is a beautiful culture, yg nak pergi tiru drama mexican, spanish venezuala tu buat hapa??
buat penat tahan muka nak mekap sejam...
so, berbalik pada nur kasih... put aside the actress/actor confession yg dia orang tak amalkan pun sepertimana cerita (that's their prob, x yah kisah), it's a nice story... typical romance, yeah, but islamic... that's what counts... romantic gaya islamiah... memang sahabat Nabi pernah cerita pun Rasulullah was a romantic husband, so it's not wrong...
plot dia pada mulanya macam tak boleh agak, tapi towards the end dah macam boleh nampak... even my brother pun dah fed-up, and i think for most part, he's right... so, here comes the part why i don't like it that much anymore...
this is what my bro complained: kenapa la nur tu lembik sangat? heh, susah sangat nak buat keputusan nak terima balik adam ke tak... well, tu namanya nak panjangkan cerita...
then, kisah katrina yang tergantung sekejap: x tau la kot-kot i'm missing the episode, but how did she transform herself so drastically? just because she had cirrhosis? no... tengok macam way before that... so when? then, the fact that she could change just proved that adam was not a good enough husband for her.. sebab tak boleh ajar dia betul2.. tinggal bodo je pergi kejar si nur... that is kinda irresponsible of him, in my opinion...
then, sara: kenapa la minah yang sorang ni tak sedar-sedar lagi? a good man is for a good woman, and vice versa... and i think a good islamic story should make a villain (aka sara) change for good.. ni nampak gayanya, macam tak tukar-tukar lagi... duk kacau, fitnah si alya dengan aidil pulak...
ending, okay, happy for adam and nur... but, seriously, i'm sad for katrina... okay, some people might say, it's what she deserves, but come on la... she's changed... and anyone changed for good deserves a second chance, ey? i prefer my ending of the story... and this is it: she found a good enough man yang tak give up bimbing dia, and so dia mintak cerai dengan adam nak kahwin dengan mamat tu... eh, well, maybe the word cerai is taboo for the drama, but hey, happy ending for her too... apa la nak buat sangat dia sakit, then mati... adam dulu minum arak jugak.. silap-silap ada jugak cirrhosis mamat tu, cuma tak detect lagi... ambik kau, sad ending for every1, except for alya and aidil... on second thought, okay jugak.. dah nur pun lembik sangat, adam pun tak cukup adil (walau berapa banyak kali dia cakap dia try), sara pun dah jahat sangat, sad ending je la untuk dia orang.. senang... boleh buat second season...
heh, will i watch the next season? no. too predictable... now, i can say i only watch it only when there's nothing better on star movies or hbo...
wanna know why i prefer those two stations? sebab dia orang tak hipokrit... they are american channels, so they show american or occasionally british stories... that's their culture and they are proud to show them...
kita punya channel tv still merangkak lagi nak show they are proud of our culture, tak kisah la banyak mana pun dia siar lagu-lagu kebangsaan... end up yg ditengok adalah cerita, dah kalau cerita pun duk tiru budaya luar, tak ke fed up...? hm....
enough said. babai.

got stopped by a police traffic today...

ihih, got stopped by a police traffic today... sebab memotong kat lane traffic lite yg patutnya turn rite je...dahla memang dah nampak dah polis tu sebelum tu duk tahan dua orang mamat motor... even before that, sebab dah perabis duit belanja orang yang tolong buat turun kanopi untuk pameran kenali ubat anda tadi, dapat gak instinct memang kalau kena tahan polis n saman on the spot, memang tak terkata apa sebab serius duit tinggal syiling je... tu pun tak banyak... sekali kena tahan betul... memangla instinct waktu tu gila rasa semacam je...
cuak jugak rasa, tapi boleh buat selamba lagi... masa enchek polis mintak lesen, boleh lagi tipu kata tak perasan lane tu untuk turn rite je... enchek polis siap cakap tergezut tengok pompuan, ingatkan laki yg bawak berdecung...hehehe...or his actual word, jate... (kelantan for jantan)...
time dia suh keluar keta n mintak ic, dah siap buat muka comey, rayu boleh tak bagi warning je dulu, janji tak buat dah (for the time being)...
hehe, n enchek polis mengalah...kihkih...siap ty dah ada boypren belum...ish ish ish..takde soalan lain sungguh pakcik ni... pakcik, pakcik, soalan tu memang susah nak jawab... jawab dah ada kan, jadi menipu... jawab takde kan, macam menggatal pulak... nasib baik pakcik dah tua... saya bagi senyum-senyum sumbing jela pakcik ye, tak menjawab soalan... pakcik enchek polis tu pahamla kot...
pastu boleh lagi sembang dengan enchek polis tu pasal h1n1 sampai dekat 5 minit...dia ty situasi kat kuala berang... cakapla masih terkawal walaupun memang dah ada kes... kat dungun je teruk, bagitau dia.. dia ty pasal marang, sebab dia kije situ gak or something like that, cakapla tak dengar lagi kes... dia ty lagi pasal vaccine, cakapla patutnya dia pergi cucuk... tapi kena gi cucuk klinik swasta la n kena bayar... x surela polis ada peruntukan x untuk free vaccine... patutnya adalah, sian pakcik-pakcik polis yg duk deal dengan orang ramai tiap-tiap hari... high risk jugak tu...hm, entahla... suh pakcik tu ty pejabat dia ada tak budget untuk polis macam dia, kesianla pulak rasa...
dia ty pulak no phone, konon nak call supaya boleh ty pasal ubat, cakap suh dia call spital...hehehe.. dia gelak...
lepas macam tu je... so, from what i expected 2 b a bad experience, jadi macam kelakar n bestla pulak...hehehe...improve my mood for the day... good..good... want 2 share that with u...hehehe...
n for the time being, x memotongla kut situ kot... kotla... tapi kalau lane sebelah tu lembap betap sangat, potong jugak... tapi kena make sure no cop on sightla...kihkih... second time won't b a warning anymore...have 2 remember that!!

induksi 17th till 30th july 2009...

kursus 2 minggu... memang expectation waktu tu bosan sangap ngantuk mamai mamun apa segala ada la...lepas tu ada exam pulak at the end of the session...memang gile stress, tertekan, tension, mension segalala...lepas tu majority dengan docs pulak...lagila imagine tahap skema, nerdy, geeky, ntah apa-apa lagila... nasib baik ada ramai geng-geng lama... boleh kasi havoc sikit...
and memang jadi havoc pun...kihkihkih...
agaknya dalam fikiran doc-doc tu mesti duk fikir yang bebudak farmasi ni takde kerja lain, duk meriuhkan suasana, mencapap situ sini, hu-ha tak tentu kala, bertepuk tampar selamba, bergurau tak hingat dunia jela kerjanya...well, hello there, mister, we did learn pharmacology, we did learn diseases, and whatever the hell else, and we do work like crazy, we do care for patients, we do have to do this, and that and whetever the heck else, cuma tak boleh diagnose je and memang tak reti pun...but, here's the but... we still know how to have fun la...
and it was fun... the kursus, i mean...unexpectedly so, surprisingly so, but it was...
rupanya x sume docs geeky, nerdy, skemala...at last, they impressed me... not much, but the fact that they did is quite enough...
maybe helped by a fact that bebudak farmasi ni duk provoke nak have fun je...x kisah orang nak kata apa, jadi diaorang si docs ni pun dah tak boleh terkata apa, terikut jugak sikit2...
alrightla tu... boleh kenal doc yg pandai joget gelek2 ala kartun kucing kuning dalam iklan digi tu...nak pecah perut gelak sebab dia sorang... doc yg cute pakai topi terbalik berlakon jadi budak spoiled...jadi pulak tu... doc yg ada bakat berkaraoke, kalah aznil dalam jangan lupa lirik... doc yang rock, bawak myvi pecut 120km/hr tengah2 on the way nak gi jerteh... laju siot terasa...baru aku tau...selama ni aku bawak 120 enjoy je...hah, ambik kau, baru terasa bila jadi penumpang laju 120 tengah jalan 1 way tu macam mana...kalau highway tak heran pulak...
so, kesimpulannya, it was fun...one of the memories i'll treasure 4eva...cewah...
and still, bebudak farmasi memang suka mencapap...malam mesra mencapap lagi dengan koir trademark kenali ubat anda...hehehe...well, we're one hell of a strong group...just want to show them that...we clicked together nicely, tak pernah terputus lagi setakat ni Alhamdulillah, walau masing2 dah kerja kat ceruk mana entah...tu yang nak tunjuk kat docs ni... when u have fun with ur friends once in a while, u'll find the bond grows stronger... and u'll remember it with a big smile on ur face... like i do now...
all the best, geng, miss u!

just 2 prove i'm not the only one dreaming...

I have dreamed in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.

Emily Bronte (1818-1848)

there, emily bronte the great poet pun dreaming gak... basically that's what great authors or writers do...dream...that's where they get their inspiration, their vast imagination...i'm trying to learn how 2 do that...

it's easy 2 dream... u can dream on and on and on and on... but 2 turn that dream into something real, something not just imagination, something not just fantasy tu yang payah, susah, sukar, hard, difficult,complicated... it's not impossible, i get that now, but not so easy a possibility either...

it requires a lot of efforts, a lot of perahan minda, a lot of stressful thinking, a lot of time in the quiet of the night or early morning...it requires patience...and that is something i do not get easily...