not that i'm a stylish person.
okay, to elaborate on the topic, i posted this on my facebook status a few days ago: 'i'm sorry, but i'm not going to use my appearance to snatch a man. that's just not my style'.
sounds like i was lashing out at somebody, isn't it? the answer is yes.
at the risk of having that certain someone reading this (which i highly doubt), that was me trying to answer her (yes, it's a she!) when i couldn't do that verbally right to her face. so, i did that on fb shoutout, instead. you know me, i told you previously, i'm not good at responding verbally to people. i'm more the kind of a person who swallows it at the time and argues it over in my head (or in facebook) later.
so, okay, the origin of that statement. the cause of it is because i grew tired of that certain someone bragging me about getting married. haha.. what a topic. you'd thought i've grown over that, didn't you? as a matter of fact, i have. apparently, however, people around me haven't.
she kept on provoking me to look more, shall i say, presentable to guys, wear some make-up, dress in a more flashing, atttraction-seeking clothes, talk softer (to men, of course!), walk slower, behave more like a dara pingitan than the selamba, suka-hati-aku-la-nak-buat-apa-nak-cakap-macam-mana-apa-kau-kisah kind of girl that i am. and the list goes on..
i take it her intention is good. she's worried about me being single when the rest of my friends there are all married and happily snuggling their babies (ignore the sarcastic note there, sorry) and snuggling their husbands (not necessarily in that order, ignore the sarcasm again, please). there. i sounded angry. finally. i mean, come on. is that all that a woman's duty in this world got to do? find a man?
yeah, i know it's nature. dah Tuhan jadikan benda tu fitrah, who am i to go against it? and no, i'm not going to go against it, at all. i do want to get married someday, have children. make my family happy. be the best, loving, muslimah wife and mother that i can be. i love babies. and toddlers. and even my overly-talkative, too-fast-growing-up nieces and overly-brilliant, also-too-fast-growing-up nephews. heh. which could be prove enough that i love children. i do want that. most heartedly (is that even an existing word? never mind). i mean, wholeheartedly, yeah.
but, it takes time. and how long it's gonna be is not for me to decide. tu ketentuan Dia. why is it so hard for people to understand?
yeah, you can say that i can hasten the process by being more presentable to guys, wear make-up, dress flashier, talk softer and mushier, behave and walk slower, but heck, i'm sorry, that is totally not me.
and seriously, is that even the right thing to do? is that what our religion urges us, muslim women to do? parade ourselves for men to choose? certainly not and i know you agree with me.
for the time being, i'm happy being the way i am. i found love that matters and that's the only thing i'm working out for now. the love that matters here and in the hereafter. Alhamdulillah, Allah guides me through. Alhamdulillah, He protected me from being trapped in empty love during these 26 years of me breathing in this world. and i pray He'll continue to protect me in the future, insya Allah.
i found a purpose in my life now, and i'm working towards it. there is something better for a woman to do than trying to bat her eyelashes to make a man fall flat on his face, drooling over her. yes, quite a yucky description, but hey, i am an overly-imaginative person. heh. so yeah, i have better thing to do with my life.
so there, i'm sorry again, but i'm not going to use my appearance to snatch a man. that is not a muslimah's style and despite what you might see, i'm really trying to be one. a true muslimah. end of discussion.
verses that made me smile today, despite the bragging:
'Dan lagi wahai kaumku! Siapakah yang akan menolongku dari azab Allah jika aku menghalau mereka? Maka mengapa kamu tidak mahu ingatkan kekuasaan Allah? (30) Dan aku tidak pernah berkata kepada kamu: Di sisiku ada perbendaharaan Allah, dan tidaklah aku mendakwa mengetahui perkara-perkara yang ghaib dan aku tidak mengatakan bahawa aku ini malaikat dan aku juga tidak berkata terhadap orang-orang yang beriman yang kamu pandang hina itu, bahawa Allah tidak akan memberi kebaikan kepada mereka. Allah lebih mengetahui akan apa yang ada di dalam hati mereka. Sesungguhnya aku jika bertindak demikian, nescaya menjadilah aku dari orang-orang yang zalim. (31)'
~ ayat 30 dan 31, surah Hud.
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