Why i love One Tree Hill

Considering the fact that i just finished watching season 8 last night, i'm pretty much in a One Tree Hill blues, heh. I've talked about Linkin Park previously, quite mouthful on why i love them so much (btw, congratulation guys for winning best rock for mtv ema!! That's why i love them so much, even after 10 years, they're still going strong!!!!), and back to Tree Hill, seeing that the series is at the top of my indulgence lists on the sidebar, i should really talk/write about why it's there, why i love it so much too..
1. First of all, it's about the strong bond of friendship. Friendship between the girls, between the guys, and between the adults. We see undying loyalty in every main character towards friends, between lucas and haley at the beginning, brooke and peyton, keith and karen, and it expands widely throughout all 8 seasons with new characters. That is a remarkable theme you find so rarely in tv series. But in One Tree Hill, it shows consistently up to the eighth season i've watched just last night... Friendship that never ends between haley and brooke, nathan and mouth, added with between nathan and clay and julian and skills and chase... I always love to see guys who have lots of loyal friends, because your friends define who you are. Who you choose to befriend shows ur inner character, i believe that with all my heart.
2. Then, the series show lovely bond between siblings too, something that is rare to find in a tv series, especially between half-brothers who used to despise each other. Nathan and lucas's relationship is amazingly well-rounded and brilliantly told, that it's a wonder how they got that brilliant idea.
3. And of course, it's about love. But what i love the most about the love they show in Tree Hill is that it's honest love. It lacks scandal and stupid bed scenes, it's just love, pure and simple. And it doesn't focus on just love between a guy and a girl, but also between friends, again, between siblings, and also between parents and their kids. This wide range of love makes the series more fun and filling to watch, instead of just love between guys and girls, which gets pretty boring, if u ask me.
4. It's also a story of a sense of protectiveness. It shows in how lucas is always protective of haley, of nathan when they finally bonded, brooke of peyton, how she helped lucas saved that best friend of hers from getting raped, brooke of her adopted teenager, sam, the adults being protective of the kids, from karen and keith for lucas and nathan, from the coach wiley for his players, and then later from nathan and the rest of his friends for his son jamie. It's amazing to watch that sense of protectiveness never fades up till the latest season.
5. And also, i love the fact that almost every episode starts with brilliant quotes from smart people. Quotes that define each episode and provide an identity of its own to the series. I learn to collect quotes after watching the series, quotes which help me to be a thinker, instead of just a do-er. And that is something valuable you rarely learned from tv series.
6. And yeah, the joking dialogues are funny too. Most of the time, they're told in such a cool, carefree way that it makes it even more hillarious and believable. How funny scenes like when brooke got so drunk that she forgot haley's name, whom she always called Tutor Girl, and named her Brooke, instead, still got me rolling with laughter, doesn't matter how many times i've watched it.
7. The morals in the stories are loadful. How friends should always help each other, like brooke, however naughty she was, she was still the one who helped to hook up haley and nathan in the first place, and as that relationship is still going strong makes it remarkable to watch.
8. The tears, the arguments, the emotions portrayed in the series seem so real that i laughed and cried alongside them. The series tell honest stories, that can happen anywhere, anytime, and that makes it special and again, rare. It's not a stereotype story of upper class people, but a story of even the lowest class of people working their way to the top. And that is one heck of a strong storyline.
9. It's also a story of changing for good. The most prominent example is how Nathan the spoiled playboy became the most loving brother, friend and later husband and father. How amazing it is that his love for Haley makes him a better man than before. And also Brooke the playful playgirl who became such a smart, always kindhearted, talented, protective and loving person. It's always a nice plot, whether it be tv series, movies or novels, when the characters evolve to become better person. In a way, this series help me to become a better person too.
10. The stories also taught me about karma. That good things will happen to good people, and vice versa. How the most villainous of all villains, Dan Scott got what he deserved for what he did. He killed his own brother, and at the end he spend his life alone, without his sons, his wife, or his grandson, or his friends.
11. I have so many, many unforgettable scenes from the series. The drunken Brooke i mentioned earlier. The look on Haley's face when Nathan put the kiddy bracelet on her wrist and then later when he kissed her for the first time with I Dare You to Move song from Switchfoot playing at the background. The look on Nathan's face when Haley sang for the first time. The look on Lucas's face when Nathan deliberately crashed the racing car he was driving to the wall, devastated that Haley had left him. I looked everywhere for the soundtrack for that specific scene, it was Like a Man Possessed. I forgot who sang it. The look on Brooke's face when she adopted the baby girl briefly. The look on Julian's face when Brooke went to him finally. So many i can't simply just write here... Unforgettable scenes with their own lessons to learn.
12. It's a story of growing up, maturing up from high school kids into adults with responsibilities. The stories show how the characters grow and mature, and just like with Linkin Park, i grow up and mature up alongside these people in One Tree Hill as i follow the stories through. And that is something i find so valuable to have as my life goes on.
13. The fact that each character has his/her own personality and identity also makes me love the series more. That is another remarkable trait in a tv series, which i hardly find in others. Peyton with her devil-may-care attitude, kind, minding my own business behaviour and vulnerabilities, despite her trying very hard not to show them. Lucas with his natural good boy, a mother's son character, always protective and positive, a loving son, brother and lover. Brooke with her funny outrageous remarks, smart mind and loving and very protective and very kind to everyone she loves. Nathan with his admirable transformation of bad-boy-turned-good, a loving and dotted husband and father, a strong, hardworking man, and a protective, supportive friend. Haley, who has a mind of her own, her own principle of things which she holds so strongly onto, her remarkable strength and her love for her family and friends. These are the main characters i follow along as they grow up. There are others too, with their own characteristics. Remarkable ones.
14. The fact that these actors, even outside the series are all generally well-behaved shows that the series' wonderful theme taught them a lot too. How they remain good friends outside shooting, even got married in case of chad (lucas) and sophia (brooke) briefly, which makes me really feel like kicking chad's $&@ when they got divorced, but that was as much little scandal you could get from the casts. The rest are just wonderful stories. Chad settles down with his new fiancee, sophia is busy being charitable and eco-friendly all around the world with her new boyfriend and she sure does have a strong voice fighting woman and child abuse. Smart lady, that one. Bethany (Haley) settles down with her husband and new baby girl, james (nathan) enjoying his life but carefully keeping away from bad habits, good boy. Hillary (peyton) settles somewhere too. It's just, you hardly hear any scandalous stories about the casts of One Tree Hill and that is saying something. That reflects back on the series and shows that it succeeds in promoting good things, instead of bad ones.
15. And yeah, a story with sport as it's main theme is always interesting to watch. And they do play one heck of basketball games. :)
16. Last but definitely not the least, they have cool songs. One more thing unique about One Tree Hill is that it promotes singing artists that we sometimes never even heard of. And they're good too. Amazing, actually. I tried to collect soundtracks from the series because they all sound wonderful, and bethany joy galeotti really CAN sing. She's very good. The fact that peyton's red bedroom turned into a cool studio with artists flowing from it is something u don't get from any other series. And the song I Don't Wanna Be, Gavin DeGraw suits the series so well, it might as well become phenomenally evergreen.

All in all, this is it. The series, the storylines, the quotes, the casts with their amazing characters and characteristics, the laughter, the tears, the songs are all wonderfully created that i fall in love with them all. Like the word 'Fortitude' Clay chose for his agency, it actually describes the whole of One Tree Hill. Fortitude is a strong word with a strong meaning and these group of people, these 'unkindness of ravens' in One Tree Hill do have their own 'fortitude', their own strength, that makes them different from any other series, and that... is why i love it so much. :)

City Sisters

I stumbled upon this series today, aired on tvalhijrah at 12noon. it was already half an hour through when i flipped to the channel after finished watching usrah on tv9 with my mother. the series include a group of muslimah from united kingdoms, gathered together, beautifully attired and completely covered in abayas and scarves, talking and discussing about these days issues, especially concerning muslimah all around the world. today's issue was a bit hazy to me since i watched it in the middle, but towards the end they did some recap of previous episodes and i got the general idea. they discussed women, islam and they bring in new members too. even new sisters who just recently converted into islam.
i got interested to know more about the show, so i 'yahooed' it, heh. i found the official website here:

as i browsed through the website, i found out that this show's presenters came from different walks of life, from single women to married ones with families and jobs and different obligations and races. however, all of them shared the common similarity which is they are all muslims, and they are there to share and voice out their knowledges and opinions regarding islam. quite exraordinary when reading the audiences' comments regarding the show. how the show proved to be one of the significant tools for them to know and understand islam better. and these comments came from muslimahs in non-muslim countries all over the world. it shows that this series has helped women to strengthen their faith, especially those whom we know as 'saudara/i baru' or new sisters amidst non-muslim community, which can be hard to do.
they also put up summaries of previous episodes and i got to read all of them. the topics vary from 'living for akhirah' to 'attaining taqwa' to 'peer pressure' to 'education and careers for sisters'. and they talked about them in a simple straight forward manner, so that viewers can easily understand.
it's interesting to know that a small group of muslimahs in a non-muslim country manage to provide such a thorough insight of islam and broadcast it worldwide, compared to us, here, in a muslim country where wearing hijab is now a matter of trend instead of obligation. there is a point to ponder there.
which brings me to point out that there is a lot of programs for muslimah locally. we should be grateful that the awareness is there, although still weak since the programs sometimes skidded away from the original path of guiding our women towards understanding islam better. maybe we should provide more interesting talks added with travelling to siginifcant places, instead of overwhelming the screen with the newest trends of hijabs and busana.. or islamic dramas with the actresses freely flaunting their crowns when they are no longer shooting.
media plays a vital role in guiding people, especially those who enjoy them. it's true that we are targetting the youths of the nation to be better person. it's a commendable effort when shows such as imam muda and ustazah pilihan start to bring out more knowledge about islam. let's just pray that these shows will not stray away from their true intentions.
media is there to provide knowledge, the right knowledge to people, to youths, not to confuse them further. islam is to be understood, learned and practised, and media is one of the significant tools to provide that. let's just hope it won't be misused with all the gimicks and the extravaganza that seemed to flood the channels these days.
or else, it might be best to just have a simple show like the City Sisters where peers sit down and talk and travel occasionally, and still can change their comrades all around the world into being better persons and strengthening their faith in the religion of islam. which is actually what we should aim to do. really.

Ta'aruf

Ta’aruf tu kalau ikut maknanya ialah saling kenal-mengenal. Merangkumi segala bentuk perkenalan, antara lelaki dengan perempuan, antara sahabat, antara saudara-mara selepas sesi jejak kasih. Apa saja bentuk perkenalan yang dianjurkan oleh Islam. Tapi, masyarakat kita dah pandang ta’aruf itu pada satu makna saja, iaitu perkenalan antara lelaki dan perempuan. Lebih spesifik lagi, kononnya antara lelaki dan perempuan yang ada intention untuk spend the rest of their lives together, yeah, yeah, simply said, to get married.
This entry is not going to talk about ta’aruf. Kerana saya bersetuju dengan makna ta’aruf yang asal, iaitu saling kenal-mengenal. Full stop. This is an entry about perkenalan antara lelaki dengan perempuan. This topic came about after a short discussion i had with a few colleagues of mine a few weeks ago, about this. Dan sebab sinonimnya pemikiran ramai bahawa ta’aruf itu adalah spesifik ke arah ni, saya letak tajuknya seperti itu. bear in mind, the meaning of the word is broader than that.
So, back to perkenalan antara lelaki dengan perempuan.
I was telling my colleagues that i don’t really believe in dating, atas dasar nak berkenalan sebelum kahwin. I have quite a strong opposition against the idea of dating and couple, clouded with the famous excuse of ‘to get to know each other’. Perlu ke ‘get to know each other’ dengan bergayut/berchatting/bermesej/ sampai ke pukul tiga empat pagi, talking nonsense and NOT getting to know each other at all? ye la, berapa kerat couples that you know yang share their likes and dislikes, their wisdom and thoughts, their ups and downs, their goodness and their flaws? Ada, yeah, sikit. The rest, banyak yang cover up their flaws, their dislikes, their different opinions on things, just for the sake of impressing the so-called ‘other half’. Banyak yang spend 90% of the conversations on praising each other (you cantik/handsome/pandai/smart/cute/lawa), saying i miss you, i love you, rindu la, sayang awak and asking breakfast tadi makan apa, lunch tadi makan apa, dinner tadi makan apa, ni dah dekat nak subuh nak supper apa and the words go on, pusing balik macam tadi. Bila dah macam tu, adakah itu namanya berkenal-kenalan?
Hm... well, maybe i was just being sceptic. But that is the typical scenario these days. And i am frank enough to say that i don’t like it. And so i said to my colleagues, i don’t mind not getting to know my other-half before marriage. As long as God shows me he’s the right one. Who am I to doubt that, right?
But then, my colleague’s counterattack was quite an impressive one. He put in an example of an acquaintance we had sometimes ago, who was abused by her husband, the one she married before truly getting to know him (code words here: tak pernah ‘couple’). So, that got me to think. Is couple the answer? I still don’t think it is. Then, what is? Is the perkenalan sebelum berkahwin itu truly necessary? If abusing cases like that are taken into account, i’d say very much necessary. So, then, what to do?
It goes on to not whether or not perkenalan itu perlu, but it goes on to HOW we do it. And still i’d like to emphasize, couple is still not the answer. There is a way to do it honourably. And that’s where we were suddenly introduced to the word ta’aruf. Bila perkataan dah bunyi arab sikit, mula la ingat benda tu dah betul. Mula la satu perkataan dengan makna yang innocent disalahgunakan untuk menghalalkan apa yang sebenarnya haram.
For me, couple is NOT ta’aruf. Couple is not the answer. Dalam Islam memang tak de istilah couple. Dah berkoyan-koyan artikel yang iluvislam.com terbitkan yang emphasize pasal ni. Susah sangat ye nak paham?
In Islam, getting to know each other before marrying is allowed. But, do it honourably. The guy will bring his family to see the girl’s family, ask permission and get to know each other. When it’s necessary for the two of them to meet, someone else must be there as chaperone, preferably a close family. No need of chatting, messaging, gayuting, whatever. Simple. Clean. There won’t be unnecessary praises and stupid repeated questions when seated together with family like that. The true thing about each other will come out in the open, each likes and dislikes, each opinions and thoughts, each goodness and flaws. There is no need for trying hard to impress since both families are already aware of the situation. Tengah dalam proses nak berkenalan. That is the true meaning and the right way of berkenalan. Susah ke nak buat? I don’t know. Ask yourself. It’s the ideal way. Tapi susah betul nak cari ketika zaman dunia dah nak kiamat ni...
For me, it’s pretty simple. I might be seen as a modern girl who watches too many Hollywood movies and read too many romances before. But, when it comes to deciding who i’m going to spend the rest of my life with, i’m still the old-fashioned, conventional, budak pingitan melayu macam zaman dulu-dulu. I won’t be impressed with the words ‘will you marry me’, however special you make the proposal is, however sore your knees are for kneeling. I’ll be impressed if you’re there, with your family, meeting mine and do it honourably. I’ll be impressed if you do that because you know it’s the right thing to do and because you know that is how we do it in Islam, and most importantly, you do it because you want to gain His blessings. That will impress me. Whether or not you’ll be accepted, that’s not for me alone to decide. It’s still His work.
So, scold me for being old-fashioned, i won’t budge. I’m trying to do it the right way. And that’s the only way i know to ‘berkenal-kenalan’. The only way I approve of because i’m trying to do what Allah wants me to do. What He will approve me of doing.
Because for me, the fact is this: nak cari suami dunia tu mungkin senang. Nak cari suami dunia DAN akhirat tu yang susah. Wallahualam.

I don't wanna be...

Anything other than what i’ve been trying to be lately.... ooops, that sounds awfully familiar. Yup, lyrics from gavin degraw’s i don’t want to be, 1 tree hill theme song, eheh! Well, i don’t want to talk about the song, i want to talk about what i don’t want to be:

1. A hypocrite. One heck of a job to do that. We are all a bit of hypocrites here and there with our own twisted reasons and excuses.

2. A brag. I hate bragging. If u’re good at something, prove it, don’t talk about it yet until it’s there, plain for everyone to see.

3. A goody-goody two, three, four, five, six, seven and so on- shoes.

4. A snob

5. A lazy ass. One heck of a job too. I am lazy.

6. A back-stabbing friend

7. An ungrateful person

8. An unforgiving individual

9. A forgetful person.

10. A kissing-ass b%!@#

11. A psycho

12. Alone

13. A grunge holder (?)

14. Jealous

15. Bad

16. Awful

17. Bad-mouthing anyone to anyone

18. Scared anymore

19. Loveless

20. Lifeless

21. Boring

22. Dull

23. Losing my sense of humour, which i sense is close, and that is bad. Bad. Bad.

24. Helpless

25. Hopeless

26. Clueless

27. Without aim

28. Aimless. Damn, that’s the same thing.

29. In a writer’s-block mode, but apparently, here i am.

30. Misguided into doing what i don’t want to do and pretending i like doing it.

31. Losing interest in my work, but sadly, that is what’s happening now.

32. Chained, figuratively. I’m a free-soul, held down too tightly now, though.

33. Restless, but i am, all the time

34. Stressed. Huh! Who wants that?!

35. A blur of existence. I want to exist and mean something to someone, clearly

36. Lost

37. A coward. But, uh, i am.

38. Losing my feeling

39. Reading without understanding

40. Watching without seeing

41. Losing interest in helping people.

42. Stuck in the past, but ops, i am.

43. Unforgiven

44. Hated, though i’m good at provoking someone to hate me, really.

45. Here and not there...

46. Anything other than what i’ve been trying to be lately, all i have to do is sing to me and i have a peace of mind, i’m tired of looking round rooms wondering what i got to do, or who i’m supposed to be, i don’t want to be anything other than... me. Yeah, gavin degraw’s again. His is the best definition and explanation.

There. In conclusion, i don’t want to be a lot of things. But most of the time that ‘a lot of things’ is just me. I’m not perfect. I have my vulnerabilities. I have insecurities. I have doubts. I have fear. Those make up who I am. I’m not saying I am all those things. Some i really hate to be and really try not to be. But there are some that i can’t help not to be. It’s just me.

I don’t want to be a lot of things. But, to put it simply, i sure as heck don’t want to be other than me.

of nuclear and power

we all know the tragedy that hit Japan last month on the eleventh, when a literally groundbreaking earthquake caused a massive tsunami to crash upon the island, sacrificing thousands of lives. we all know what we worried next when that happened. the nuclear plants on that island. and of course, the worry is justified. the tsunami caused serious damages to the plants, heating it up, which may in turn, from what i understood from reading about it, cause the radioactive particles inside the plants to break free and spread out. and we know what damage can radioactive particles do. very serious, indeed.
then, i found this article on the net, published on the 13th march, 2 days after the strike. i'm quoting just a bit of it:
"On Saturday, Japanese officials took the extraordinary step of flooding the crippled No. 1 reactor at Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station, 170 miles north of Tokyo, with seawater in a last-ditch effort to avoid a nuclear meltdown." (Japan earthquake: Nuclear crisis spreads to fourth plant by Hiroko Tabuchi, Matthew L Wald, New York Times, Updated: March 13, 2011 22:49 IST).
they flooded it in an attempt to cool it down.
the point to ponder here is this: we know tsunami is the giant waves of the seawater. and from this article, it is apparent that they use seawater to try to repair or reduce the damage caused, early on, by the giant waves of the seawater. can you see the irony? we use what was the cause of the problem in the first place to try to remedy the problem it caused. and now i'm talking in riddles....
what i'm trying to say here is this: we are powerless.
no matter how we try to prove it otherwise, by having nuclear reactors or whatnots, whatever, in one stroke of a power more powerful than us, it all will be gone. some call it force of nature, some call it wrath of god, some call it sequences of numbers and probabilities i don't ever want to understand, some call it whatever, whatnots.
for me, it's clear. it's a sign from the Almighty above to remind us how powerless we are. how we should bow down and remind ourselves that this world, that island are not ours to do whatever we like with them. this world is NOT ours. and we can see how bad we have forgotten that fact from the damage that particular tragedy had caused. it took us to see that kind of destruction to wake up. it's no longer small, small signs, it gets bigger and bigger as we went deeper and deeper into forgetting that everything in the world will go back to Him, the Creator.
He creates the seawater. He creates the island. He creates the tsunami. He creates the destruction to wake us up. and ironically we use back the things He creates to remedy the damage He also creates. which just proved that everything goes back to Him.
this is going to be a short entry. if i go further, i'll twist my words more and i'll stop making sense and that, i don't ever want to do. i don't know if i'm making sense now, but somehow, some way, that piece of article made me realize something. it might not make sense to you what i wrote here, but try to think. the irony of everything that happens. it's a lesson, in some sort of weird, twisted and wicked way, it is a lesson, nontheless.

drive-thru

Saya suka drive-thru. Okay, mungkin kawan saya, Dayah won’t agree with me since she’s in charge of the drive-thru department in HSNZ and that sure as heck is a lot of work, but well, I’m not talking about that drive-thru. I’m not talking about the ATM drive-thru or pizza drive-thru or kfc drive-thru, either, because they don’t have those here in Terengganu. I’m talking about the McD drive-thru. Heh, I can actually picture my other friend, Melissa grinning from ear to ear at the mention of that (McD is her only saving grace here in Terengganu, ngee...). :)
So, anyway, saya pergi McD drive-thru pada suatu petang yang hening selepas balik kerja. As I was waiting in line to get to the ordering kiosk, something hit me. The flow of the drive-thru. Let’s imagine it together...
First, you get to order. And you’re given a whole lot of menus to choose from.
Then, you have to pay. Next, you get what you want. What you ordered.
Finally, you move on to the junction of the road, whether it be the right or the left. Or in a few occasion, straight to hit the gate of Giant. Huh? Never mind that. Hehe.
That, that flow, (minus the Giant part) is a lot like Life.
Yes, everything is fated. Yes, everything is written way before we were even born. Yes, at the end of the day, we have only that one destination to head to. But, one wise person said in her book that and I quote, ‘everything is fated, only interchanged by God’s will, effort and doa’ (refer Versus, Hlovate). It’s true.
That God’s will depend on us. Tuhan takkan tolong hamba-Nya yang tak nak tolong diri dia sendiri. Which brings us to the first step of ‘driving-thru’ life.
First, ordering or making the choices. Let’s face it, as we live, it’s all about making choices. We’re paraded with a whole lot of choices, more than three boards of burgers can ever provide, and it’s up to us to choose. The good or the bad. The best or the worst. Choosing that depends on how far we believe God will help us. How many of our prayers will He answer? What should we do to make Him help us? What should we do so that He wants to help us? Over and over and over? It depends on the effort, the doa. The choice we finally make, the significant of each and every single one of it, will depend heavily on our effort, our prayers. And if He decides He wants to help us, He will hint the best choice deep in our hearts, insya Allah.
Then, we have to pay. Whatever choice we make, we will have to pay before we get to see the outcome. Paying is striving. We put out all that we have (in the case of McD, all that I had in my wallet that day, heh!) into it. Into what we want. It can be a struggle, sometimes or most of the time. And we may wonder whether we made the right choice. If God had helped us, we will be confident it is the right choice. If He hadn’t, there must be something lacking in our process of choosing earlier. So, we might have to go back. But notice that the drive-thru flow is a one-way street... Oh... no... we just have to plunge on.
Next, we get what we ordered. What we chose. Whatever we feel about the choices we’ve made, whatever we have to pay, we have to deal with it. Go ahead and take the outcome. Swallow it. Walau tak sedap macam mana pun, it’s already done. We’ve chosen, we’ve paid. A lot of efforts have been poured into it. So we just have to take it as it is.
Finally, we move on. Wherever we want to be, right or left or straight, we go on.
Then when we need to decide another thing, another occasion, another event, another whatever, we have to go back to the first kiosk. It’s a cycle. Ongoing cycle for life. Make choices, pay for it and swallow the outcome. The most important step is always the first one. The one when you stare at the menu, stare and pray and talk to yourself and talk to the steering wheel of the car and talk to the dashboard and talk to the radio deejay of whatever station you’re listening to and talk in your head over and over and over again, and make effort to gain help for the best choice by talking to Him and doing what He wants us to do. It’s not easy, making a choice. It’s the hardest step. But always remember His promise, sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan. sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan.
Hm... That’s a lot you get from a drive-thru, huh? Yeah, I know. My imagination went into over-drive that day. But, see it this way, every single one of Allah’s creation, from the tiniest microbe to the largest galaxy, He creates them for a reason. For us, human being to learn and study. Because we are blessed with the one thing other creatures don’t have. Our mind that can think. Think. Even the idea of ‘drive-thru’ that He gave to some-whoever-it-was a long time ago is meant to teach us something. Something that we can apply in our daily lives.
So, here it is. My new, updated version of Metaphor of Life. The Drive-Thru. Just here to share. Thank you. Wallahualam.

Lessons we can learn from A Walk to Remember

I’m sure many of you have watched A Walk to Remember, the movie. Many also have read the book, written by Nicholas Spark. Watching the poignant story came to life is quite a memorable thing, added with such a compelling pair of leads. The movie is full of lessons, really. Here are some I personally gathered...
1. You never can judge a book by its cover. You never can judge a person by his/her appearance, or his/her surroundings and circle of friends. There is such a thing called benefit of the doubt. However bad a person is, and however wrong his choice of friends is, his heart might be good. Peer pressure pressed Landon to be friends with the naughty group, but his good heart still compelled him to save and apologize to that boy, whom was so eager to be in that group.
2. Jealousy is a bitter thing. Especially when you’re the bad one jealous of someone who is good, and because of it you do something bad to that good person. No good thing can come your way. Belinda’s aim from distributing the corrupted picture of Jamie was to get Landon back. Well, she got that scornful look from him, and that’s it. He never looked back again.
3. Even that movie was almost ten years ago, there was already the technology of corrupting or in nicer word, editing a picture. And that was Kodak pictures, not even digital ones yet. As the years gone by, we were introduced with digital cameras and digital everything. Editing pictures are only a click away. Lesson to ponder here, girls, is that even then, more than five years ago, people can do whatever to your pictures. What about now? Yup. People can do more. Technology advances, and so does people wicked intention. Be careful what you post on the net, whatever pictures, whatever videos. You don’t want your face to be plastered on that corrupted flyers (or in these years, everywhere on the net) like Jamie’s did.
4. There is such a thing called courtesy, and courting. Not many men use those these days. There is a proper manner in asking a girl out, even for Christians, as shown in the movie when Landon went to see the Reverend to ask Jamie out. Well, how many guys do that these days? Asking the parent for permission to date the daughter? We, Muslims are not supposed to date. But, even so, we do have the proper manner in asking a girl for her hand in marriage. By asking her wali, her parents or her guardian. How many Muslimin do that these days? Forget Facebook, forget sms, forget phone calls, those are not, and I repeat ARE NOT the proper channels for you to propose, however romantic you do it. Doing it the proper way shows your love and respect for the girl. The aim is for a lifetime, ladies and gentlemen, and not for just a few passionate moments. It’s no wonder when we hear people got divorced through sms and phone calls so easy these days, they might propose through those methods too, before!
5. Talking about parents, this movie teaches something about parenting too. About the scar a parent left to his kid when he walked away. It lasted for years. It’s not an apparent scar you see on your skin, but it’s the scar which hurts the most. Scar on your heart. But then, at the end of the day, your parents are still your parents. No matter how hard, or how hurtful it got, or how grown-up you’ve become, once in a while you do need that loving hug from your parents, those strong shoulders to cry on. I didn’t shed a tear throughout the movie except for the scene when Landon hugged his father tight and cried his heart out after finding out that the old man was willing to pay for Jamie’s home care. That was for me, the saddest, most poignant moment in the movie.
6. We can learn a lot from other people thoughts and opinions, no matter how shallow or dumb they might seem to be. Take that quote from Dolly Parton, for example; ‘know who you are, and do it on purpose’. That was nice, and brilliant too. And surprisingly came from someone whom we thought never could get pass that blob of yellow hair of hers. She does have a lot more quotes we can ponder upon and be amazed of actually. Collecting quotes from famous people and quotes that are meaningful have been one of my hobbies for years. And I learned a lot from it. You should try it too.
7. Besides quotes, I’m also a sucker for good lyrics. I don’t do sappy love songs, but I appreciate meaningful lyrics, the one that can touch your heart in a lot of ways you can possibly imagine and last long. Everlasting words, evergreen songs, whatever term you use. And A Walk to Remember movie has one heck of a soundtrack. The best thing about this movie is, it is in a way religious. Stop for a while and ponder the lyrics for the song Only Hope which Mandy Moore’s character, Jamie sang in the play. And analyze the lyrics for Learning to Breathe, sung by Switchfoot. These songs are not dedicated to a lover. The lyrics are dedicated to Him. The Creator.
8. We learn something deeper from the movie too. Jamie’s dream was to witness a miracle. We learnt from the movie that the miracle was Landon. This shows that a miracle to each and everyone of us does not need to be by seeing a rocket flying out through our window, or encountering aliens, or watching comets. A miracle is deeper. More mysterious. It’s in us. And too many times, it’s in front of us, but we refuse to see it for what it is. For Landon to fall in love with Jamie and changed to be a much better person was so out-of-place, that it became a miracle. Think about that, and reflect back. What happened in your life that you thought wasn’t possible, but it happened anyway? That is your miracle. If it’s good, be grateful for it. If it’s not, it is still a miracle, because in a way, anything bad that happens to us teaches us to be stronger, and that is miracle in its truest form.
9. Well, yeah, I said the movie is a bit religious. It’s about keeping faith. And for those who have lost it, it’s about finding it. It’s not that easy to find, because you can’t see it. You can only feel it. You will feel it when you believe it. For us, Muslim, we have a strong guidance. We have our holy Quran. Believe in it because it can never be changed or corrupted, that is His promise. Believe in Him, believe in the Prophet, believe in the Book, you’ll be fine.
10. Last but not least, of course, the movie teaches us about love. Love between lovers, love between parents and their children, love between friends. The sacrifice it takes, the fairness, the tears and laughter, the lesson to be good, it’s all there. So, here’s the famous quotes about love, taken from the movie, you remember it;
“Our love is like the wind. I can’t see it, but I feel it.”
And then, there’s also the list of what love actually is, quoted in the movie, taken from the Bible.
“Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous,

Love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful.

Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.

Love does not come to an end.”
And these, are the benefits that I get from the movie, and the quotes along the story. :)

of terror and changed perceptions...

so, i stumbled upon a curious series tonight, The Future Express on australian network (channel 521 on astro). astro info told me that the series followed people traveling by train through 26 countries in 6 continents. seeing the fact that i am in the missing-my-traveling-days mode (and missing australia t00), i gleefully switched channel from whatever the heck i was watching before that in the hope that i'll be greeted with the beautiful scenery of the koala-and-kangaroo-inhabitated continent.
and then i was practically gaping at the screen. ngee...
first of all, it was not english. not even australian english. curious, curious, seeing that it was aired on australian network. how did i know it was not english? they provided english subtitles, you dope! heh, sorry!
second, it showed the cameraman going around in a moving train, interviewing people, mostly muslims. and after a while, i came to understand that they were algerian muslims. and the topic of discussions between the cameraman and whoever was with him with the passengers was about terrorism.
curious, curious...
and yes, curiosity got the better of me so i stuck with the series till its end.
numerous people were interviewed as the train kept going. some with the right definition of islam, some not so much.
one particular girl and what she said caught my attention. i couldn't remember her exact words now, but what she said was pretty much this: she scolded the wearing of veil for muslimah, saying it limits a woman's freedom (yes, she didn't wear any). i don't know now whether she's actually a muslim or not since she laughed and blushed when telling a story of a few men clapping their hands at her when she walked around in miniskirt. curious...
she also kinda scolded the terrorists which she said ruined the image of islam, and wondered out loud how muslims can say islam is so holy when those people (the terrorists, she meant) killed people in the name of jihad and raped women.
my level of curiosity increased at that so i yahooed (you have googled if you searched for info in google, so when i searched for info in yahoo, it's yahooed, yeah? heh!)
i didn't find so much on algeria and its relation with terrorists, and i am not a fan of newspaper, so i really have no idea what that was all about, until i read this short q&a session :http://infad.usim.edu.my/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=10781
so, there was a twin bombing happened in algeria sometime ago, (i think in 2007) involving the al-qaeda group claiming it to be a 'badr battle', which is an insult to islam, seriously.
so, the girl's perception on islam changed because of some stupid terrorist's act. can we truly blame her?
so, yeah, maybe it's because her understanding of islam is not as deep as it should be. because there were people on the train who understood and discussed that terrorism is not jihad. one man said that islam is a religion of peace, a religion of tolerance, which is absolutely true. islam is about cherishing our neighbours and uniting brothers and sisters with peace, not war. some understood that. some, with a bitter experience, i suspect, might find that concept a bit difficult to grasp.
see how terrorism is a danger to us? orang islam sendiri yang bawak bahaya pada orang islam lain. yang terlalu fanatik dan dah terpesong. that is sad.
it's sad knowing that wearing veil, or hijab, or tudung for muslimah is considered limiting their freedom, and it's sad knowing that a woman (and many more out there, i'm sure) think like that. because it is clearly stated in the qur'an (surah an-nisa and an-nur, specifically) that for muslimah to wear hijab is for the sole purpose of protecting them from harm, guarding their honor. that's the beauty of it. it is so sad knowing that a woman can misunderstand that. or not realising that.
it's sad knowing that one man or a group of men's wrongdoings tarnish the whole population of islam and the fact that muslims all around the world are being watched like a hawk. its sad knowing that in some countries, they bane the wearing of hijab for fear of them carrying weapons inside. it's sad knowing that muslims can't travel much around the world, especially muslimah, since they with their tudung create a wave of paranoia so great, that people stare at them with fear and hold their children tighter around them.
it's sad knowing that when that is clearly not islam is about. islam does not promote fear among people. because it is about peace, and not war. even there is no force in converting into it. we've learned that 'tiada paksaan untuk memeluk islam' since our form four pendidikan islam.
it's so sad knowing that people can misjudge this beautiful religion so greatly.
islam guides women closely to protect them. please, do understand that. i read in the iluvislam's paper today, an article saying that women are created with 9/10 shyness, and 1/10 wisdom, while men are created with 9/10 wisdom and 1/10 shyness. when women lose their shame, she's done, so do men when they lose their wit and mind. and it is so easy to lose that these days. so many distractions and bad influences, secular thoughts and perceptions. nauzubillah...
i'd like to share something else. supplications from ustaz zaharudin website. he encouraged people to share, so here it is, for muslimah out there: http://zaharuddin.blogspot.com/2010/11/doa-elak-cabul-dan-rogol.html
in case the link is broken: here's the copy-and-paste's version of it:
'DALAM sebutan rumi : BISMILLAH ALLAZI LA YADURRU MA’ASMIHI SYAIUN FIL ARDI WA LA FIS SAMAIE , WAHUWAS SAMI’UL ‘ALIM
Ertinya : Rasulullah s.a.w didengari berkata sesiapa yang berdoa : “Dengan nama Allah yang tiada dimudaratkan sesuatu apapun dengan namaNya samada di bumi dan di langit, dan Dialah maha mendengar dan maha mengetahui” sebanyak 3 kali, maka ia tidak ditimpa kesusahan bala dan musibah sehinggalah subuh esoknya, dan barangsiapa membacanya ketika subuh 3 kali, ia tidak ditimpa kesusahan bala dan musibah sehingga petangnya” ( Riwayat Abu Daud, 4/323 ; At-Tirmidizi, 5/465 dan Ahmad ; Tirmizi : Hasan – Teks doa berwarna Merah Syeikh Syuaib ; Hasan)
Ingin saya utarakan satu lagi doa sohih yang dibaca oleh isteri Nabi Ibrahim a.s (iaitu Siti Sarah) yang menyebabkan para lelaki zalim termasuk rajanya melarikan diri, saya sertakan sekali sumber rujukannya dari hadis Nabi s.a.w:
DALAM SEBUTAN RUMI : ALLAHUMMA IN KUNTA TA’LAMU INNI AAMANTU BIKA, WA BIRASULIKA WA AHSONTU FARJI ILLA ‘ALA ZAWJI FALA TUSALLIT ‘ALAYYA AL-KAFIR WA AZ-ZALIM
Ertinya : Ya Allah, jika engkau mengetahui bahawa aku beriman kepada Mu dan Rasul Mu, dan aku menjaga kehormatanku hanya untuk suamiku, maka lindungilah aku daripada dikuasai oleh orang-orang kafir dan zalim” ( Riwayat Al-Bukhari, no 2104, 2/722 ; Sunan Al-Baihaqi, 5/97; Musnad ahmad, 2/403 ; Fath Al-Bari, 6/393; Umdat Al-Qari, 12/30 ; Sohih )
Semoga ia dapat dihafaz dan di amalkan oleh semua wanita Muslimah, Cuma jangan lupa bahawa doa ini bersoifat tawassul dengan amal soleh anda, iaitu apabila diikat dengan imannya dengan Allah s.w.t dan RasulNya dan telah dijaga kehormatannya dan sudah tentu auratnya.
Justeru, seolah-olah kemaqbulan doa ini juga diikat tentang kewajiban untuk beriman dengan Allah dan rasulNya dan menutup aurat anda. Tanpanya, doa ini masih amat digalakkan untuk dilakukan, cuma jaminan seolah-olah lebih pasti bagi yang apa yang dikatanya (dalam doa ini) menepati apa yang sebenarnya penampilan fizikal anda.
Justeru, jika berbaju kebaya terbelah, baju sendat menampakkan susuk tubuh, berpakaian nipis seolah telanjang, bersolek canggih seperti artis bukan Islam..sudah tentu doa ini sahaja belum cukup mampu menjaga anda. Bukan kerana Allah s.w.t tidak mampu, tetapi Allah s.w.t tidak anggap wanita itu layak dek kerana kedegilannya sendiri.'
~i quoted a few ending words from ustaz too. just as a reminder. fikir-fikirkanlah. saya ni pun bukanlah baik sangat nak menasihati orang, still dalam usaha nak memperbaiki diri jugak lagi. sama-sama la kita saling ingat-mengingati, kay... wallahualam.

not my style. full stop.

not that i'm a stylish person.
okay, to elaborate on the topic, i posted this on my facebook status a few days ago: 'i'm sorry, but i'm not going to use my appearance to snatch a man. that's just not my style'.
sounds like i was lashing out at somebody, isn't it? the answer is yes.
at the risk of having that certain someone reading this (which i highly doubt), that was me trying to answer her (yes, it's a she!) when i couldn't do that verbally right to her face. so, i did that on fb shoutout, instead. you know me, i told you previously, i'm not good at responding verbally to people. i'm more the kind of a person who swallows it at the time and argues it over in my head (or in facebook) later.
so, okay, the origin of that statement. the cause of it is because i grew tired of that certain someone bragging me about getting married. haha.. what a topic. you'd thought i've grown over that, didn't you? as a matter of fact, i have. apparently, however, people around me haven't.
she kept on provoking me to look more, shall i say, presentable to guys, wear some make-up, dress in a more flashing, atttraction-seeking clothes, talk softer (to men, of course!), walk slower, behave more like a dara pingitan than the selamba, suka-hati-aku-la-nak-buat-apa-nak-cakap-macam-mana-apa-kau-kisah kind of girl that i am. and the list goes on..
i take it her intention is good. she's worried about me being single when the rest of my friends there are all married and happily snuggling their babies (ignore the sarcastic note there, sorry) and snuggling their husbands (not necessarily in that order, ignore the sarcasm again, please). there. i sounded angry. finally. i mean, come on. is that all that a woman's duty in this world got to do? find a man?
yeah, i know it's nature. dah Tuhan jadikan benda tu fitrah, who am i to go against it? and no, i'm not going to go against it, at all. i do want to get married someday, have children. make my family happy. be the best, loving, muslimah wife and mother that i can be. i love babies. and toddlers. and even my overly-talkative, too-fast-growing-up nieces and overly-brilliant, also-too-fast-growing-up nephews. heh. which could be prove enough that i love children. i do want that. most heartedly (is that even an existing word? never mind). i mean, wholeheartedly, yeah.
but, it takes time. and how long it's gonna be is not for me to decide. tu ketentuan Dia. why is it so hard for people to understand?
yeah, you can say that i can hasten the process by being more presentable to guys, wear make-up, dress flashier, talk softer and mushier, behave and walk slower, but heck, i'm sorry, that is totally not me.
and seriously, is that even the right thing to do? is that what our religion urges us, muslim women to do? parade ourselves for men to choose? certainly not and i know you agree with me.
for the time being, i'm happy being the way i am. i found love that matters and that's the only thing i'm working out for now. the love that matters here and in the hereafter. Alhamdulillah, Allah guides me through. Alhamdulillah, He protected me from being trapped in empty love during these 26 years of me breathing in this world. and i pray He'll continue to protect me in the future, insya Allah.
i found a purpose in my life now, and i'm working towards it. there is something better for a woman to do than trying to bat her eyelashes to make a man fall flat on his face, drooling over her. yes, quite a yucky description, but hey, i am an overly-imaginative person. heh. so yeah, i have better thing to do with my life.
so there, i'm sorry again, but i'm not going to use my appearance to snatch a man. that is not a muslimah's style and despite what you might see, i'm really trying to be one. a true muslimah. end of discussion.
verses that made me smile today, despite the bragging:
'Dan lagi wahai kaumku! Siapakah yang akan menolongku dari azab Allah jika aku menghalau mereka? Maka mengapa kamu tidak mahu ingatkan kekuasaan Allah? (30) Dan aku tidak pernah berkata kepada kamu: Di sisiku ada perbendaharaan Allah, dan tidaklah aku mendakwa mengetahui perkara-perkara yang ghaib dan aku tidak mengatakan bahawa aku ini malaikat dan aku juga tidak berkata terhadap orang-orang yang beriman yang kamu pandang hina itu, bahawa Allah tidak akan memberi kebaikan kepada mereka. Allah lebih mengetahui akan apa yang ada di dalam hati mereka. Sesungguhnya aku jika bertindak demikian, nescaya menjadilah aku dari orang-orang yang zalim. (31)'
~ ayat 30 dan 31, surah Hud.

My thoughts on flying

random entry, yeah, i know. my babble, whatever.
flying... seeing that word i always picture freedom. i guess the word fly, the image of a bird soaring happily in the sky defines freedom, eh? no one can catch it when it's on air, no one can grasp it, unless someone is cruel enough to shoot it down.
okay, moving on. why this sudden topic?
i've been trying to write about this particular passion of mine for so long, only now that the right time came up.
i love to fly.
no, i don't have wings (rolling eyes), i'm still human, and thus human needs help to fly. hence, the airplanes.
i bet whoever invented airplanes (was it the Wrights' Brothers? i forgot), did a lot of study on birds. their aerodynamic shapes, their physical abilities, their intuitions. and who invents these creations which don't need help whatsoever to fly? yup, Subhanallah... everything comes from Him and always goes back to Him.
so, airplanes. I like airplanes. i like flying. some people admit of having the fear of flying (i seriously don't know the scientific name of that phobia), but i love it.
my first time of boarding an airplane and flying was when i was in standard two, eight years old. it was my first trip much further than the one i usually took. me and my parents went to Langkawi and came back to KL by airplane! i still remember the excited look my father had when he first told me we're going to fly! and seeing that was my first trip on the plane, it was only natural that i wanted to know everything about it. i was even curious on what was going on in the pilot's cabin. and seeing the excitement on my face one particular steward was quite smitten by me (hahaha... perasan mode!), he gave me a huge MAS paperbag containing everything, from pens, notepads, playing cards, and a huge box of orange juice they used to serve to the passengers! and yes, from that moment on, i fell in love -sadly not with the steward, gila hapa, i was eight years old!!- but with flying in an airplane.
yeah.. i guess first impression does count, uh?
during those childhood times, i used to hate having to sit at the wings. because i was such a spoiled daughter, i usually got the window seat and not much can be seen when you're sitting at the window looking out at the wings. worse if you got the emergency seats, you got to look out at nothing since the seats are set further than the windows to allow for opening the emergency doors if the need arises.
but, as i grow older, i find myself looking forward to sitting at the window seat besides the wings, but still very much prefer not to be the emergency seat.
why?
because, believe it or not, i love watching the wings, now. yeah, weird. peculiar. a bit mentally off. whatever you say. not budging me one bit.
i love the wings. i especially love watching them during take-offs and landings. Landings, mostly. you probably do not notice this, but right before landing, two noisy sounds can be heard from the airplane. one is the time when the tires start to come out from under the belly of the plane and the other is the one when the wings widened. i seriously don't know the technical significant of this mechanism, i sure as heck don't know the technical term of it, but i love watching the flaps (let's call them the flaps, shall we?) of the wings as they go up when the plane lands because the air rushes at them from down under. i know people who fear landings and take-offs, but i love them. because of this. and the feeling you get when the plane lands smoothly on the airway. the relief and happiness that you made it safe back on the ground. i find myself always smiling when landing.
and in a more poetic note, flying symbolizes something else to me too. in a way it defines life. and the journey you took in your life. the part when you 'take -off' in life, going somewhere, sometimes not even knowing what you're going to face. and yeah, when you're on air, do you know what else you're going to face besides clouds? nope. there might be a sight of the most beautiful rainbow you've ever seen, there might be peculiar shapes of the clouds that remind you of something, there might be a spectrum of color you've never seen before shining through to you. but, there might also be turbulences, there might also be sudden storm or thunder or peltering rains, there might also be a strong shake that makes you grasp the side of your seat tighter. there might be a lot of things. in life, also, there might be a lot of things you're gonna face. unexpected things, most of the time. there might be good, there might be bad. and you go on flying through it all. because you have to. there's no other way. that is the only way you'll learn. the only way to reach your destination. your goal. your landing spot. and when you do land, when those flaps go up and those tires touch the road, you smile. because even in life, when you succeed in all those things you face (happily dubbed with flying colours), either it be turbulences or rainbow, you feel relieved, happy, stress-free. and you'll smile. you will smile like i do everytime i land and watch those flaps go up. the feeling is mutual, i tell you.
that, my friend, is my thoughts on flying. :)

To the one who passed away...

He was on number 2 in my entry I posted a few months ago.
He was Mr. I.
He was the one I stalked for three years, starting when I was in form three, going on until form five. Never wavered direction.
He was the one who made me smile by just having caught a glimpse of him in that red van on our way back from school.
He was the one who made me smile throughout the day by just having caught a glimpse of him anytime during school.
He was the one I dedicated a few girly poems to.
He was, basically, my first taste I had at having a crush on somebody.
He was, really, my first taste I had at having my heart broken (or so, I thought) when he ignored me. But, I realize now, he just didn’t want to give me false hope.
He’s gone now, though. My best friend just broke the news to me this morning. Accident. He’s been in coma for almost two weeks, she told me, and today, finally, he slipped away. On the blessed day of Friday. During the blessed month of Ramadhan. May Allah bless his soul.
Hearing this news, it was shocking, but somehow, the first thing that came to mind at that time this morning was that I’m glad I parted in good term with him.
You see, he ignored me back at school, but when I was in my first year in college, he suddenly contacted me. The usual exchange of greetings, him asking me how I was doing, but then I remembered his last message to me. He told me to be in touch with him, whenever I needed a good friend to talk to and at that time I felt he was sincere. I knew I found a good friend in him. I didn’t contact him since then, because I moved on, but that was one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me. And I remember that again, today. With tears in my eyes.
It was shocking, him being gone. I could only imagine how his wife and family are feeling right now. He was a good man. They are lucky they got to know him more than I had. I only wish I could tell them that.
And today also, I found this hadith:
Abu Hurraira reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Remember frequently the thing that cuts off pleasures," i.e. death." [Tirmidhi].
We remember those who passed away and we should also remember our time will come too, one day. Cherish every day you have as long as you’re breathing and find ways to do good, to gain His blessings. And pray that He will forgive us and those whom we love.
Ya Allah, bless our friend’s soul, please forgive his sins and rest him in peace with those whom You love. Ameen.

common sense & common courtesy to women...

so, i've talked about common sense & common courtesy to elderly in my previous entry. here's another part where these two important things are lacking. common sense and common courtesy to women. well, to be perfectly honest, this entry might be a little bit biased, since i'm a woman. but i'll do my best to see it in both views, okay? as a man and a woman...
so, here goes...
i can't help but admire the way western men treat women (and i mean the good way, not the way when they let the women prostitute themselves).
especially those in classic victorian time. how they rise up when a woman enters a room, how they let the ladies walk in front of them, how they open doors for them, how they carry the woman's load, however small and light. this might be, i guess, because the queen victoria's husband, the prince consort em-what's-his-name-i-forgot was really a man with meticulous attention to courtesy towards women. that was then. now, western men still adopt those courteous behavior towards women. maybe not to the extent of rising up when women enter, but the rest still maintain. good for them.
which brings me to malay men. i bet you hardly see malay men who let ladies walk first, open doors for them, help to carry women's load. there are a few, i've seen, i've known them. my brothers, Alhamdulillah, my colleagues at work, a few of my friends. but that i could count with my fingers, hands and toes. definitely not majority. still minority. why?
the way we are breed, i guess. we're not taught to respect women when we were little. we are taught to be afraid of them when they became angry, we are taught to be irritated at them when they babbled. and thus we lost respect towards them. and i'm saying this in general, as a woman and as a man.
i'm not saying women are so weak, men have to do everything for them, no. that is a hard no. a shake-my-head-a-hundred-times no. NO. huge NO. because women are equal to men. i was reading the e-book by harun yahya, maryam:an exemplary muslim woman, and it got me hanging for a while. it said in the book that muslim women should have more strength than those of unbelievers, since they have Allah as their sole helper. true. muslim women should not be bothered with problems, emotional or physical, since every problem has its solution. true again. meanwhile the unbeliever women have been drilled into their mindset that they are weak and they need men in their lives to help them get through problems, emotional and physical, so unlike how a muslim women should be and should be taught. maybe that's where the courtesy comes from. maybe that's why western men treat their women that way. helping them in everything. because they are set to think that women are weaker than men. that got me stopped for a while, and wondered. because i don't want to be a weak woman. i want to be the best muslimah i can be, Allah willing, and thus, i can't be bothered about courtesy? that question keep flashing in my mind...
yeah... i shouldn't be bothered, really. we, muslim women should be independent, should be strong, as strong as men, if can be. even stronger, actually. i mean, God creates women to carry babies, not men. that should give you some ideas on how strong we, women can be. that's the ideal idea. that's how we should try to be. but, courtesy for me, as i broaden my view, is not to show that women are weak. it is to show that you respect them. that's all.
we can do all those by ourselves, seriously, we can. we can walk behind you, no problem, we can open door with our own two hands, thank you very much, we can carry loads, heavy or light, we are known for carrying a dozen shopping bags during retail therapy, for God's sake, so we really don't need you, men, to do all those things. it is only c.o.m.m.o.n c.o.u.r.t.e.s.y for you to help us, to show that you RESPECT and CARE for us. that's it.
it's not such a big deal when it's lacking, still, it's just sad. sad that you out there learn a lot deal how to touch a lady's hand who is not yet your wife, how to kiss your girlfriends, hug them, going all over the boundaries, dah tak kisah halal haram, all that you learn from the western lifestyle, but you neglect to study the way they treat their women, their mothers, their sisters, how they RESPECT them. you kiss your girlfriend, you shout at your mother. what the h#@!? you take the wrong lessons pretty well, you overlook the right ones. that is very, very, very sad. that's the sad phenomenon occurring these days. that's the lacking of common courtesy that i feel so sorry about. seriously.
okay, common sense to women... hm.. what do i have to say about this? the stigma or common thought related to women is that women are weak. i think i got that covered up there. we are not weak. end of story.
common sense. let's talk in general, shall we? i have a story in my mind. a complaint from a colleague, in fact. she was upset when someone at work compared her to her sister when she showed him a picture of the said sister. the comparing of looks might be a bit superficial, to me anyway, but you have to admit, no one likes to be compared. men and women alike. right? be it how you look, what you've achieved, your grades and the list goes on. i know i hate to be compared. many of you do too. so her complaint is justified. i mean, come on... it's common sense that there are people who are better and worse than we are. we're good at something doesn't mean we are good at everything. some people might say you're pretty, some might say, you're just so-so. but do you really have to say that out loud, to that person? where is your common sense? sense here is a big word. can be defined into so many things. but one i want to light up here is this: sensitivity. there.
sensitivity. derived from the word: sensitive. God creates us to be sensitive. men and women, the same. only differs on how deep it goes. women more than men, i guess. but it depends, really. men can be more sensitive than women. if they spend enough time to observe people around them, and stop staring meaningfully at beautiful ladies only. observe people, observe the world around you, observe life. and that one destination you're heading to. you'll be more sensitive to other people's feeling, their thoughts, their aim in life. and you won't feel the need to compare among yourselves. because at the end, you're still heading towards the same destination. you still aim for the one thing. to gain His blessings. some might be closer to Him, some might just realize they need to be closer to Him.
if only we stop comparing, we'll be at peace, going to that direction. if only we stop comparing, there won't be anymore jealousy, believe me, because there is no competition.
life is not a competition. life is a lesson. a test. a transit. a temporary stop before the hereafter. if we can only remember that, maybe we'll treat each other better. maybe we don't even need to discuss a topic on common sense & common courtesy towards anyone on radio or here or anywhere. because everyone will try to make each other's life easier. because everyone is equal over there. everyone is equal in the afterlife, paying for what he/she has done in life. answering for every single, tiny thing to Him. if only we can remember that.

common sense & common courtesy to elderly

another interesting topic i got from morning crew hitz.fm, heh.
this topic came about to them when they got this caller, a 60+ lady who called up and complained about how she took a public transport in kl n youngsters these days didn't have the courtesy enough to offer her a seat. which, by the way, i myself have observed quite for sometime.
for me, this is both common sense and common courtesy. it is common sense that 60+ people, men and women are weaker people. some might even have illness we can't see and less strength than their respective peers. and it is common courtesy to offer them some service, be it to open the door for them, allow them to walk past, escort them crossing the road and offer them a seat in a jammed, packed train, especially the long trip ones.
but yeah, not many people do that these days, huh? not many people, be it youngsters or even adults actually rise up from their seats and smile to an elderly and offer her/him the seat. not many people actually care about an elderly slowly walking across the road, with cars and motorcycles zooming by. not many people hold the door for an elderly, much less to let her/him walk past. except if the elderly happens to be a relative. then, u'll see the most gentleman, caring people.
which brings me to this. is it so hard to imagine that the elderly needing ur service could be a relative? is it so hard to just picture this for a second: ur mother or father or grandpa or grandma is somewhere out there, crossing the road, standing in a fast-moving train, heading towards a heavy wood door, and suddenly, out of nowhere comes this gentleman/lady who smiles at her/him/him/her and offers to help her/him/him/her. there. u'll feel happy, won't u? u'll feel relieved that someone out there is helping ur loved ones when u couldn't be there by their sides, won't u? won't u be happier knowing that the gentleman/lady could really, actually, be YOU?
hm... brings new perspective to things, huh? all u need to do is spend less than a second to think about that, and the next thing you know, you're rushing over, standing up and pushing open a door for an elderly, even when you don't know her/him. and the relief you'll feel will surpass even your tiredness of the day, you'll feel good about yourself and when or if the elderly smiles, you'll feel like the world smiles at you. because in a way, it does. there's a reward for everything we do in our lives, even the smallest, tiniest bit of service. remember that. it's His promise. remember that.

Hari ni hari Jumaat...

hari ni hari Jumaat. yang dikatakan sebagai penghulu segala hari bagi orang Islam. hari yang mulia. hari ni la pun kalau kat tv banyak siar rancangan-rancangan keagamaan, nasyid, bagi tv yg hari-hari lain tunjuk hiburan semata. hari ni la pun orang yang kerja kat terengganu, kelantan, kedah (betul ke tidak ni entah), memulakan cuti hujung minggu kalau x oncall, x overtime, x apa.
hari ni jugak la para muslimin diwajibkan menunaikan solat Jumaat, menggantikan solat zuhur, iaitu solat waktu tengah hari.
and i stressed out the word diwajibkan.
tapi, Allah itu Maha Pemurah. walaupun Dia mewajibkan, Dia bagi lagi pengecualian. pada yang musafir atau kata lain dalam perjalanan melebihi dua marhalah, yang uzur atau sakit, tak jadi wajib.
so, ni nak tanya, yang duduk bersepah atas motor kat tepi tali air, bawah pokok besar, pakai baju melayu tu tengah bermusafir ke? tengah uzur ke? yang tengah selamba pegang pinggan nasi, ambik lauk kat restoran waktu imam tengah baca khutbah kat masjid tu tengah dalam perjalanan nak ke mana? tengah sakit ke? tau tak ada masjid tak sampai lima kilometer pun dari situ? boleh dengar pun sayup-sayup bacaan imam.
this is the reason why i posted the statement 'i seriously want to migrate' on my facebook status today. sebab rasa macam dah tak larat nak tengok situasi-situasi seperti di atas itu di depan mata. tu nasib baik la terengganu tak de shopping complex. kalau tak, tak tau la berapa ramai pulak yang sendiri-sendiri pandai 'berkhutbah' di dalam shopping complex. tak tau la mydin dengan giant. tak buat ops pergi spy kat situ hari ni, never like the crowd.
sedarla wahai muslimin. sedarla wahai orang melayu. tau tak kita ni kaum yang mempunyai agama yang mulia? agama yang benar? kenapa kita nak membiarkan orang lain melabel kita sebagai kaum yang rosak? bila kita ada pegangan yang cukup kuat?
eh, mana ada... mana ada rosak, you said.
yeah, rite.
nak tanya sikit. yang duk merempit tiap-tiap malam, yang duk bergerombolan kat depan traffic light petang-petang jumaat, sesuka hati pengarang jantung dia je langgar lampu merah, buat orang lain takut nak gerak tu datang dari kaum mana? yang selalu masuk tv, masuk suratkhabar sekarang ni sebab tangkap khalwat, berzina dan buang bayi (Nauzubillahi min zalik) tu kaum mana majoritinya?
rhetorical questions. you know the answers yourself.
saya pun bukannya baik sangat seorang insan nak menegur-negur orang. nama lagi insan. yang asal maksudnya pelupa. dan memang saya mengaku pun saya ni pelupa. nak kena diingatkan selalu. tapi hari ni rasa sedih dengan keadaan ini terasa bertimpa-timpa. sebab tengok tu kaum sendiri. yang sama agama juga dengan saya. yang mungkin sudah jauh larinya 'kelupaan' dia. nak kena diingatkan jugak. sebab tiba-tiba saya rasa takut. takut nak menghadapi hari kemudian. takut nak menghadapi hari bila dah tak de lelaki Islam yang boleh dijadikan imam, walaupun rancangan Imam Muda dah start pun kat astro oasis. tapi yela, tu baru sepuluh orang. berapa kerat sangat la lagi yang ada di luar sana boleh diharapkan untuk menjadi seperti itu bila melihatkan gerombolan-gerombolan tadi yang berbangga dengan mengangkat tayar motor depan mereka, meniarap, menayangkan cewek yang tertonggek di belakang. maaf ye, bahasa dah jadi kasar pulak. itu nak kata anak-anak muda. yang tambah menyedihkan lagi, dah ramai pulak budak2 kecik yang dah suka mengangkat tayar basikal, merempit jugak walau umur tak lepas pun lagi sekolah rendah. dah ada generasi pelapis nampaknya, ya Allah... astaghfirullahal'azim...
tolongla... janganlah tambahkan ketakutan saya. tolong la kembalikan keyakinan saya bahawa ada para muslimin di luar sana yang boleh diharapkan untuk mengimami kaumnya, mengimami keluarganya. please tell me there are still more of you, real muslimin out there. please tell me i can count on you. please tell me this sadness of today, on this blessed day is only temporary, only a test. please. please.
hari ni hari Jumaat. hari yang mulia bagi kaum yang mulia. jangan jatuhkan kemuliaan itu. tolong la...

How has 2010 been for you...?

this i quote from hitz.fm morning crew's last two days topic. it was still an interesting topic even though 2010 had only gone by half its journey. i was itching to call up and telling jj and ean about my end of the journey, but i doubted that i could get through and besides, i was driving at that time, so... heh... definitely no.
so, why was i so itching to call up? because 2010 had been so far an eventful year for me. in a good way. and reading that question now brings only one word to me: Alhamdulillah... :)
this year saw me travelling to not one, but two different countries, in not such a long period of working duration between those two, heh.
i went to the hectic superjammed Bangkok before all those chaotic 'war' happened, thank God. and i made new friends. i can even proudly say i have a friend in Bangkok now, whom i've met for only a few time in Bangkok and more time than i can count virtually on facebook. and despite the fact that we only had a few conversations face to face, we have more of them through the chat box. we exchange opinions on life, love (hers more than mine, heh, sorry angah!), work and sometimes we just exchange smileys. over and over and over again. something i don't even do with my best friends for so long now...hm...
i went to the peaceful Melbourne. well, the city seems peaceful to me. i mean, it is their strict rule for cars to stop to make way for pedestrians to cross the streets and their standard speed limit is 60km/hr. and u get a ticket sent to your home if you're driving even 2km/hr above that limit. huh? yeah... if that isn't peaceful to you, i don't know what is, considering the fact that drivers here in Malaysia think 60km/hr is lame (me, included, heh!). and i learn about Muslim bond there too, strangely enough, since Muslim is definitely a minority there. well, i guess when you're a minority, wherever you are, that particular spirit grows stronger. i'll never forget that girl who said salam to me there, the one i've told you about in previous entry, no matter how silly or remeh-temeh it sounds.
those two trips changed my perceptions on life. broadened my mind even more. well, it is recommended in Islam, anyway. go out, travel, bermusafirlah untuk melihat keindahan alam ciptaan Tuhan, Subhanallah... the nasheed Hikmah Kembara is playing in my mind right now... :)
when i got back, however, things were not so peaceful. turned out my colleagues were complaining about me. and their complaints had basis. i was (might be still am, here and there) harsh, and in a hurry and postponing my work (not anymore), surfing online instead (not anymore), and i was noticed. and scolded, ironically 'online' by a friend. it was definitely a wake-up call. it was good in a way, even though the scolding didn't actually come in what i consider 'good' words, heh. but, maybe i needed those harsh words to snap me back into focus. because i have to admit at that particular time, i lost my focus. i lost my interest in what i do for a living. i lost, what i've described before, the luster in my life. those words brought it back, however bitterly, and i'm still trying to remedy what i've ruined, insya Allah.
during that remedying (is that even the correct word?) period, i realized the reason for that lack of focus. i was jealous, hah! jealous of talks between young wives and young expectant mothers. how pathetic is that? i got over it now with Allah's help, Alhamdulillah. it's a slow process, still going, still having to hold back sometimes, deep down, but it's getting better. I am getting better. and that is something to say, isn't it?
whoa.. yeah, yeah, what a year, you say, now? heh, that was only halfway through, remember?
i even got a proposal of marriage (jokingly, i hope) on facebook by a friend. who also confessed that he had feelings for me for six years. and i ended up calling him a stalker. yup, i'm such a *&^%$. you might even ask, what the heck is wrong with me? a lot is wrong with me, i realize it now. trying to get rid of those demons away, one at a time. i pray they will be gone, every-single-day. but still, i'm really sorry that i can't be what he wants me to be. I just can't.
on a point other than personal, this year, or half of it, anyway, also saw me crashing my car, isk! my baby white chubby fronts needed a rearrangement, poor baby! it was quite a traumatic experience, even though i was outwardly calm about it, i still couldn't drive past that road. and it's been two months already. and guess what?
come on, strike a guess! come on!!
i crashed it again! there! hah! okay, technically, i just bumped it. it's my fault this time, i drove way too close to the car in front of me, and when he suddenly emergency-braked, my baby white 'kissed' the honda's butt. and again, its chubby front needed a small readjustment, poor, poor baby! what a clumsy, reckless owner you have, right baby? and you have been such a good car to me, i feel so awful! isk!
back to you, reader. can you guess when this happened?
come on, strike a guess! come on!!
it happened last two days when i was listening to this very topic on radio! hm... still think my half of 2010 not eventful enough?
Alhamdulillah, i was fine. a bit shaken and full of regrets, but i just drove on, not wanting to discuss anything. i was late to work that time, anyway. that teaches me a lesson, though. might be two or more. hm...
first: never, ever again drive within ten inches of the car in front of you, even though you're so confident he's not going to emergency-brake. because well, life is full of unexpected events, just like what i have restlessly told you, and thus, emergency-braking can hit you anytime, most likely when you least expecting it.
second: try, please try to drive within the speed limit. please.
third: don't go unleashing your anger to slow drivers on the right lane at your facebook status, because God can hit you anytime for being such a snob. and in any way He chooses too. there. that's the lesson i think which is most important.
because like i said on my previous entry, setiap ketentuan-Nya ada hikmahnya yang tersendiri. everything happens for a reason. and the reason here, is again, to wake me up. from being a snob. something i try so hard not to be again, and there i go, snobbying (is that even a word?) again. and Alhamdulillah, i take it that God still loves me when He wakes me up from it pretty quickly.
so, with all its ups and downs, peace and hectic, crashes and bitter burns, wake up calls and a snap back into focus, how do you say 2010 have been for me this halfway through?
hm....?
with a smile, i say this: so far so good, Alhamdulillah... and will be good too the next half way and so on, Allah willing... :)
p/s: my parents do not know about the second crash, not a thing they want on their minds right now with my father's impending ijn appoinment. besides, i plan on taking care of it the day after tomorrow... so, hush...sshh... :P

My Turning Points...

note the plural.
to be honest, i thought i was good enough. i thought by keeping true to myself, not following anyone's trend, i was good enough. by performing solat 5 times a day, and wearing tudung when i went out and when there were male guests or my bros-in-law in the house, i was good enough. but then, somehow, God sees me fit to improve myself. become better than 'good enough'. it requires certain events, and it's a slow process. it's still ongoing, in fact. i don't even know where or when it started. some begun simultaneously, some way later, but they were all significant.
i read books. you know how crazy i am with them. but, i used to like only english novels. i patronized malay ones, which speak too much of love and less of life. and none whatsoever of life lessons. yeah, yeah, we have a lot of malay motivational books, but most of the time, i dozed off after reading two sentences, so there goes.
then, a colleague introduced to me novels by hlovate. typical love stories, but there are life lessons and there are verses from Qur'an. educating verses. honestly, i never thought of reading tafsir before (although i already have one) until i read from her (i'm assuming it's her, not his, here) books how tafsir helps. so much. one book touched me more than the others. rooftop rant. even the writer admitted that it's one of the best books she wrote, and without having to cringe from all those mushiness she (and i) never like. heh. her books kinda inspire me to try to be what i've stopped believing i can be. i want to be a writer. there, i've said it out loud. i'm trying to be one, anyway. seeing the length of what i wrote here, i might have a chance, huh? her books kinda make me realize that there are malay writers out there who do not stereotype themselves into writing lovey-dovey, emotional, empty shells of stories. there are writers who can touch people, and can educate them, subconsciously maybe, towards becoming a better person. her books make me want to be that kind of writer too. and i can't go on educating people to be better when i don't improve myself first, right?
and i realize it now, God helps me to do it. to improve myself. there's a beauty in everything He does for His creation, but somehow for so many time, we overlooked that fact. take the moment when i was first introduced to hlovate, for example. i went to a course, something my ex-colleague so very cleverly maneuvered out of. A course i had no idea what it was about, and i remember i cried that night i found out i have to go. and i asked for His help. turned out i discovered the books which pretty much turned my life on another direction. a better direction. from going to that course which i fairly hated at first. beauty, isn't it?
another turning point to me was when i got trasferred. to be honest, hah, i'm all about honesty here, i was not much a fan of, shall i say, female dressing. i'm pretty much a simple girl who likes long-sleeved t-shirts and a pair of good jeans. to work, i sobered up with a blouse and a pair of slacks. skirts were a no-no for a reason that they obstructed my movements (which was to fast-walk like i'm participating in a marathon), and baju kurung once held kinda bad memory to me. you see, back in school i had this friend, a boy, from tuition, whom i kinda had a crush on. one night during class, he asked me why i didn't like to wear baju kurung. why i didn't try to be more like the other, shall i say, feminine girls. i was hurt and insulted by those comparing words, subconsciously, but because i foolishly liked him, i went on to wear baju kurung the next week. which he complimented on smilingly. but then, that was just not me, so i went back on with shirts and jeans. so... back to present day when i got transferred. the big boss here has certain rule. she said to my department boss that what i wore to work everyday, which was blouse and slacks were not professional. she insisted on baju kurung. of course i relented, however reluctantly at first. i mean, she's the boss. through out the days, though, i came to realize that it's not so bad to wear baju kurung. i mean, they don't obstruct my fast movements that much, i still could run chasing a patient who left a medicine behind, heh. and i realized too, that if we, as malays, do not appreciate our own national dressing, dresses, whatever, who else will?
and so, baju kurung becomes my daily attire. following that, i started to review my whole wardrobe too. which had been criticised by my siblings way before that. heh. i have this bro-in-law, whom, God bless him, had been, shall i say, berbuih mulut beliau menegur his wife, my eldest sister, about the way i was dressed. yeah, so i wore t-shirts and jeans, but most t-shirts i wore at that time did not cover so much as what should be covered, if you know what i mean. kinda senteng la, adui. even when i was wearing tudung. so, as i started to wear baju kurung daily to work, i came to realize that maybe the rest of my wardrobe should be like that too. like baju kurung. sopan, not form-fitting and tutup aurat to the best meaning of the words. so, i did a wardrobe makeover. thanks again to the eldest sister who happened to do some small muslimah t-shirt sales.
next turning point. this came from something my close friend said. about a guy. heh, sooner or later, it will always come to this, eh? to some understanding i still don't understand, my friends got the hunch that i like boys who are handsome (rolling eyes) and smart. that's it. i seriously don't understand where they got the idea, considering the fact that the boys i did like from school up till matrix were not that handsome in the first place. smart, yes, certainly. handsome? not really. so, i knew this guy from a course i attended. street-smart, can draw and can quote The Godfather. to be perfectly honest, i was pretty impressed. until when we asked him to recite a prayer for a morning ceremony, he balked. for a reason, as he said, he didn't know how. so, that close friend of mine gave me the advice i think i'm going to remember for the rest of my life. find a man who has strong foundation of faith. that's the main point. the rest will come. and she's right. i mean, how come you can quote Don Vito Corleone, but you can't say a simple doa? i pray he finds his turning points, though, Allah willing.
and so, helped by that particular advice and hlovate's bad/not so bad-turned-good/better heroes, i readjusted my classification. whoa, talking like a snob. to be perfectly honest, again, i was. a snob, i mean. before, i didn't ask for someone with a strong foundation of faith. only someone beriman. i see now, that i need a stronger reason than that. because the iman level of a person has its ups and downs. i need someone who'll constantly upgrade his iman level. i need someone like my other bro-in-law, who without shame laid out his sejadah on a street so he could perform solat when it's due. because, you see, it's not that easy to find a mosque or a place to pray in melbourne. you'll make do with what you have. but, you must make it. and here we are in malaysia, where we can find mosques or surau every half-an-hour journey, we took it for granted. we postponed (and sometimes neglected) the daily connection we have with God. i did that too. i admitted it and i regretted it. trying not to do it anymore. because however i try to readjust my classification, whatever the term, the main point here is to improve myself first. before, the reason i tried to improve myself was so that i could deserve someone with that classification, someone with a strong hold on faith, who can guide me along. through out the process, however, with Allah's help i came to realize that i need to improve myself for me. not for anyone else. For Me. and to bring me closer to Him, insya Allah.
as i said, it's a slow process. it's still ongoing, in fact. i learn from books, learn from friends, learn from what i observe around me. friends i see who changed to be better, friends who help me to wake up from bad dreams, friends who give the best of advice in the least expected time. and maybe those around me notice a change in me, too. i have this guy who came to my office and we had a fairly serious discussion on today's Islam. i told him i'm trying to be better. he told me to go listen to lectures by ustaz at a mosque near his home, which is also near mine. i smiled and said, me being a woman, is not that easy to go out at night, even to a mosque. a woman's place to pray is still best at her home. a few days after that he came back with 5 cds containing the lectures. i was suprised and pleased and grateful. and skeptical too. heh. i mean, i don't want to listen to political lectures masked with the pretense of them being ceramah agama. but, i've heard the first cd. so far so good. no political discussion. yet. can't listen to all five at once, though. ilmu itu nak kena diabsorb slowly, repeatedly kena dengar. so far, he hasn't come back to retrieve the cds, so i think, i'm good. :)
so, here i am. telling you about my turning points. i suspect there are more in the future. i hope there are more in the future. so i can upgrade, insya Allah. :)
you have yours too. you surely do. ask for them from Him. ask for goodness, get rid of the bad. He'll listen. He always does. and He always keeps His promise to be close to us. so, we have to keep Him close to us too.
there is beauty in everything Allah does for His creation, it took me ages to realize that. but it's true. it's a famous cliche, but here goes: memang semua ketentuan-Nya ada hikmah yang tersendiri. :)

soldiers...

a few weeks ago marked the end of The Pacific series on hbo... i don't know why, but i've wanted to write about this since i watched the series. well, the series were mainly about those american marines enlisted in a war against japan during ww2... watching the series and a few more war movies like them make me want to write about these people. soldiers. marines. navy. army. whatever the term you use, they're still the same. they are soldiers. drilled and profesionally trained to kill one part of people while trying to guard and save the other.
and how do they justify what part of people to kill and what part to save? that, of course, comes from orders from the goverment they serve. they are, of course, first and foremost, goverment servants... like i am. heh...
back to soldiers. a few entries ago, i posted a lyric from greenday, 21 guns. that song was about soldiers too, i think. and put a whole new perspective on this specific line of work... because it is one hell of a job. because it comes with one hell of a price. i mean, killing people. what kind of a sick person would be proud of a job like that? jack the Ripper, maybe. but, yeah, he was a very, very sick person. i wouldn't, and i suspect not many of the soldiers would be proud either. and that's how the song described the guilt these people might have felt. still, why do they do it? patriotism? maybe. forced? maybe. family tradition? some, yeah. peer pressure? hahaha, that is a standard cause for anything bad, eh?
but then, watching the series, i came to realize at the end of the day, none of the above matters so much. at the end of the day, it is all about having your friends' back, covering them, watching over for them. at the end of day, it is all about friendship. i mean, how do you justify having to watch your friends, the one who stick with you through the mud and the dirt and the bullets, being shot in front of you? do you think you can ever imagine the grief? how do you get over that? you don't. because you just simply can't forget the friends who stick with you through thick and thin, through river and jungle. you can't simply forget friends who share their last supply of food through out the week, having a single bite and giving you the rest. you can't simply forget that.
at the end of the day, it is all about friendship. it is all about saving the life of the person besides you, or behind you, or in front of you, without even actually knowing them for long. without even knowing them at all. but they are there with you, with the same cause as you have, whatever it is, and suddenly, their lives matter more than yours.
we could really learn a lot from these stories. ignore the noises of shotguns, bazookas, cannons, machine guns, whatever. grab the messages they are trying to give. we can see the value of friendship, the deeper meaning of it in stories like these. we can see the fight is no longer about saving your own neck, but also the one belonged to those around you. soldiers, in a way, might be the most unselfish people in the world, when they go through it enough. when they have had enough. because then, their own lives don't matter as much anymore.
aside from that, we as Muslims, could learn a lot too. even in the middle of a battlefield, a few of these soldiers still bring their bible, their book with them. that's how deep their faith goes. what about us? in the middle of a fight, they still believe, they still have faith (some do, anyway). what about us? we might not see the battlefield in front of us. it's invisible, but it's there. most definitely. it's the fight against breaching of our rights as muslims, a fight against those who dare to insult our leader, a fight, much more difficult, against those who slowly but effectively maneuver their way into our community and try to lead us, subconsciously, to defy our own book, our sole guidance and our faith. it's invisible, but it's there. have been there for so long, in fact.
are we brave enough to be the real soldiers and fight these invisible evils looming so suffocatingly close around us?

my poor Baby White... :(

okay, first of, i don't have a baby. and no, it's not a name for a pet, either. and not of a stuffed toy too.

Baby White is actually the name for my car. yeah, yeah, i named my car, baby... is that a crime? i even named my laptop Baby Blue, so go figure.

Back to Baby White.

here's a pic of it... i don't even know why i blocked the plate number. safety precaution, i guess...

this pic was taken by a friend of mine whom i met after five or six years of not seeing each other. and he took this pic with a wide grin on his face, saying: " lawo la keta mu, rodie."
yeah, yeah, lawo-lawo la. here's Baby White now...

look at that cute chubby cheeks yang dah broken... isk...

this happened on 27th april 2010, a few days ago. i was on my way back from secret recipe, buying cake for one of the staff at work who's just been trasferred to a different department. i was driving not at my usual speed, kira slow la sebab kat depan tu traffic light tengah lampu merah, so rilek je, when suddenly this satria from my left tetiba gatal nak buat uturn, x tgk side mirror, and bam! i hit him! hard! i didn't even know if i braked or accelerated in my shock, but i heard me screaming to myself and still at that time i remembered about the cake and my hand flew about trying to save it from skidding down to the floor of the car... it did not fall of, but then, the cake tetap penyek jugak... :(

some smoke came about after the crash, so one of the pakcik witnessing the accident asked me to pull over and cut the engine. i got out of the car and this was the sight that greeted me...

isn't that the saddest sight u ever behold? isk... :(

okay, i might be a tad overboard with drama, here...

i'm still grateful, though. Alhamdulillah, i'm fine. and the other driver's fine too. and he seems nice enough. x tau la kut lepas ni nak kena handle insurans apa segala, he won't be nice anymore. hope, he's not like that.

so, i spent the rest of the day until almost 8.30 pm in the night dealing with police report. and i took the next day off (emergency leave, actually), taking my baby to the hospital. oh, okay, sorry, i take it to the hospital everyday since i work in a hospital (duh, tepuk dahi!), what i meant here is, i took it to the workshop (the hospital for cars). and the perodua agent said it might take a month to fix Baby White! A Month! how am i going to live on for a month without my baby?!

oh, okay, melodramatic again... (sheepish grin)

but then, seriously... susah juga, kena pergi kerja guna kereta abah... dah lama wira tu tak jalan jauh, cuak jugak terasa.. ummi and abah pun jadinya tak de transport la every weekdays, kesian.. tapi x tau dah nak buat apa lagi... setakat ni, Alhamdulillah, wira tu boleh cope, ummi and abah pun okey je... :(

kesian pergi tengok Baby White the next day, dia duduk kat tengah-tengah padang dikelilingi all other shiny brand new peroduas... mesti dia rasa inferior dengan pipinya yang dah pecah... :(

okay, okay, dramatic again.. mana la kereta ada perasaan, ye idak? but still, it's my baby. my first ever car... of course, i'll be a little bit carried away with sadness... :(

Pray everything will be fine in the end... one good thing came out of this, though. i got to listen to my old collection of cassettes again, since abah's car boleh dengar kaset, bukan cd... ihih... lawak pulak terasa... anyway, as a reminder... whatever happens ada hikmahnya... ni Tuhan nak tunjuk... nothing we created is perfect... and people make mistakes tak kira masa, tak kira tempat... even when cautious, accident can happen, so, be careful... a reminder for u and me, okay... :)

still, i miss it so, so much!! Aila, Baby White, cepat-cepat la baik!!!