Anything other than what i’ve been trying to be lately.... ooops, that sounds awfully familiar. Yup, lyrics from gavin degraw’s i don’t want to be, 1 tree hill theme song, eheh! Well, i don’t want to talk about the song, i want to talk about what i don’t want to be:
1. A hypocrite. One heck of a job to do that. We are all a bit of hypocrites here and there with our own twisted reasons and excuses.
2. A brag. I hate bragging. If u’re good at something, prove it, don’t talk about it yet until it’s there, plain for everyone to see.
3. A goody-goody two, three, four, five, six, seven and so on- shoes.
4. A snob
5. A lazy ass. One heck of a job too. I am lazy.
6. A back-stabbing friend
7. An ungrateful person
8. An unforgiving individual
9. A forgetful person.
10. A kissing-ass b%!@#
11. A psycho
13. A grunge holder (?)
17. Bad-mouthing anyone to anyone
18. Scared anymore
23. Losing my sense of humour, which i sense is close, and that is bad. Bad. Bad.
27. Without aim
28. Aimless. Damn, that’s the same thing.
29. In a writer’s-block mode, but apparently, here i am.
30. Misguided into doing what i don’t want to do and pretending i like doing it.
31. Losing interest in my work, but sadly, that is what’s happening now.
32. Chained, figuratively. I’m a free-soul, held down too tightly now, though.
33. Restless, but i am, all the time
34. Stressed. Huh! Who wants that?!
35. A blur of existence. I want to exist and mean something to someone, clearly
37. A coward. But, uh, i am.
38. Losing my feeling
39. Reading without understanding
40. Watching without seeing
41. Losing interest in helping people.
42. Stuck in the past, but ops, i am.
44. Hated, though i’m good at provoking someone to hate me, really.
45. Here and not there...
46. Anything other than what i’ve been trying to be lately, all i have to do is sing to me and i have a peace of mind, i’m tired of looking round rooms wondering what i got to do, or who i’m supposed to be, i don’t want to be anything other than... me. Yeah, gavin degraw’s again. His is the best definition and explanation.
There. In conclusion, i don’t want to be a lot of things. But most of the time that ‘a lot of things’ is just me. I’m not perfect. I have my vulnerabilities. I have insecurities. I have doubts. I have fear. Those make up who I am. I’m not saying I am all those things. Some i really hate to be and really try not to be. But there are some that i can’t help not to be. It’s just me.
I don’t want to be a lot of things. But, to put it simply, i sure as heck don’t want to be other than me.
Hot And Cold (Bab 5) (Reedit)
4 months ago