Saturday, July 23, 2011

Hollow. Vacant. Empty.

Hollow tu maknanya ruang yang kosong. Vacant tu selalu diertikan dengan pandangan yang kosong. Empty tu memang dah maklum la maksudnya kosong. so, those three words basically describe the same thing. hollowness. vacancy. emptiness. which is bila diterjemahkan kepada lingua franca tanah melayu jadinya satu perkataan je: KOSONG.
i'm sorry for the fact that this blog has been 'kosong' for such a long time. it's just the way it is. it's just the way to tell that the writer here is having one of those meltdowns when her mind is hollow, her stare is vacant and her heart is empty.
when my mind is working overtime without actually thinking, it's hollow. when my eyes are looking without actually seeing, my gaze is vacant. when my heart is aching without actually feeling anything, it is empty. void.
dan apakah sebab musababnya kekosongan ini datang menyerang, saya sendiri tak tau. but, like a human body which God creates to respond automatically to any changes on it, i react too, to this emptiness. to try desperately to fill up this hollowness. though the only thing that could actually fill up this vacancy is tears. lots and lots and lots of tears.
and still, kekosongan itu masih tetap dirasa. God help me...

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