lack of things 2 say...

yeah, yeah, i know... what am i doing with a blog if i'm not to use it, not to update it... but it's not for lack of trying, because God knows i tried... tried so hard to say something here.. just couldn't...ni tetiba mengupdate pun sebab tadi terbaca blog kawan... datang la aura nak update blog sendiri...
many things happen for the past month... (hah, it's been a month? already? kesian this blog...:)) but then, what happened was too huge to put into words...
no, i'm not married (rolling eyes)... is that the only reason why people don't have time to blog? because of the huge commitment? nooo... ramai je orang dah kawin boleh blogging...
ookay... apakehalnya keluar topik kawin pulak ni??
haa, yes, it's the wedding season... again... thinking back, i think wedding season macam tak de season la pulak sebenarnya... macam happen all year long je...
1 of my best friends got married,um, bila ye? terlupa pulak the exact date... never mind, but it was grand... surprisingly so, but then it took her six months to prepare (buat bunga pahar sendiri, from scratch tu, kagum betul aku dengan minah ni sorang), it should be a day to be remembered... so happy for her... seronok pergi wedding dia, because i felt myself getting into the event, sebab duduk rumah dia, spent the night, tolong pakaikan inai, tolong letak telur dalam bunga pahar, tolong kemas katil pengantin.. and yes, we still spent the night together on her wedding night...hahaha.. kesian the unfortunate groom... but then, we were happy...
i was happy... although masa tu fikiran ada juga pada that 'too-huge-to-put-into-words thing', which i'll tell you later, but then i can still feel the spirit of the party.. meriah siap ada bunga api kat langit lagi tuh!
then, last two days, another best friend got enggaged... i didn't go this time, and regretted it, but then jauh... and got another wedding here... but, yes Insya Allah, her wedding nanti memang kena pergi two days before and stayed two days after! heh!
so, tu la jadinya, i'm talking about weddings again... for lack of topics to talk about... seriously...
attending weddings kinda remind me of those long ago time when we, my family were preparing for weddings for my sis and bros... meriah... best... macam-macam kerenah... kinda make me remember back all those time watching my father doing the akad to the nervous grooms (my bros-in-law, now), kinda make me think when my time eventually come...
will he be there doing the akad too??
you see, that too-huge-to-put-into-words thing is about my father... he's not well these days...
he's been doing hospital-hopping for quite sometimes now, ada la jugak sampai dua bulan dah kot (hence the long time no update here)... ijn, hkl, kpj, kts... dah sampai serik dah pun dia nak duk hospital, especially gov hospital... and i, being a healthcare pro that i am, feel kinda helpless, because i don't know what else i can do for him... even the docs are still figuring out what is wrong with him... although the main reason is kinda obvious... his heart is troubling him... it has been like that for a long time, only now, it gets worse...
and you know, feeling helpless doesn't get you anywhere...
and of course, people will say, just be there with him, help him do whatever he needs to do, but guess what? that is easier, very, very much easier said than done... hm...
nice... i'm going from festive mood of weddings to depressing mood of hospital-hopping in split seconds... you would think i have a talent in writing...heh...peace out.