will I marry ME?? em... er... no?

I went to this bengkel about clinical pharmacy documentation today. It’s basically about how to fill the forms for ward pharmacists. And i’ve stopped being a ward pharmacist for almost a year now, so u'll understand from all the many things we talked about, this particular topic grasped my attention. heh, yeah, funny... funny too, how this topic came into the workshop. it's just something the penceramah joked about, but it's good, though, don't u think?
It's a good question. we keep hearing people proposing will U marry me. but then did that person asking ever stop for a second and ask himself, will HE marry HIMSELF? or if it's a girl (although we know how rare that is), will she marry herself? as i'm asking myself now...
heh, u ask me whether did i ever get such a proposal? as a matter of fact, yep. twice.
first, from a guy i barely knew, went for a 'date' with him once, and he went stupidly pop the question to me on the phone. begging, was more like it. i laughed and rolled my eyes all at the same time, i mean, what the h&*%? he's happily married now, so that ends that.
second, recently, on facebook. yeah, roll your eyes.. the wonder of modern era... semua benda nak pakai online...easier, i suppose. don't know how serious that one is and no, i haven't answered that one yet... (taking a deep breath, now) because i have to ask this question to myself, first. will i marry me?
hm....it's a little bit difficult to answer, isn't it? i'm not even sure, but i'm going more into the 'no', not 'yes'...
i have a lot in my mind, rite now. a lot of dreams unreached, a lot of thoughts unwritten, a lot of works undone. i guess, i'm not ready. i'm not the kind who likes to date, couple, whatever else the terms u got. because it can only lead to heartbreaks, unrealized sins, u know... Tuhan cakap, hendaklah kau menjauhi zina, and couple, dating and the likes of it have a high risk of leading to that. i read it in an article, a good one too. so, maybe i like the old-fashioned way more. fall in love after marriage. i mean, it's the best love to have there is, rite? after the love to Allah? which is the best of it all. which i'm still trying hard to do... maybe i'll settle with arranged marriage. when i'm ready.
so, will I marry ME, now? no.
nice. what a topic to get from a clinical workshop. u'd think i had taken the wrong course. well, maybe i had. maybe if i hadn't taken this course and stayed where i was, i wouldn't be in this mess. or maybe, i would be in a different kind of a mess? heh, we'll never know the rest of 'what if's in our life, huh?
i don't think i have been such a good pharmacist lately. i've been lazy. huh...
let's see what topic can be triggered from tomorrow's session at the workshop, shall we? the penceramah was good in providing quotes, and u know i like to do that too. so i enjoyed the workshop because of that, not really because of the main topic we were supposed to be discussing. heh! bad pharmacist!
whatever! ciao!