okay, this entry is inspired by a friend's entry... i found hers interesting and i realized i do have my own stories, my own letter to, ehem, certain mister (s)... i don't have as many as hers though, but well, here goes...
1. Mr. M: u chased me around school and told me u like me back when we were what... seven or eight years old? and i made the mistake of telling my brother about it. he still laughingly teases me about it sometimes. thanks for giving him more topics to tease me about, as if he already doesn't have too many... hm, i'd like to know how u're doing now, though. :)
2. Mr. I: at that time, i thought i loved u. i thought u were my first love. i wrote several poems dedicated 2 u, but u'll never know that. i was silly for u, stalking u from form 3 until form 5. that was quite a long time for me to like a guy. maybe, because i thought u're my first love. only when i made the mistake of telling my best friend about how much i like u (i thought i love u at that time), and she teased me constantly about it, until u found out and were embarassed by it, that i realized u couldn't possibly be my first love. i came to realize that love should swing both ways, not just on my side. i was just stupidly infatuated by u, and i didn't even know why. u were not that handsome (guilty smiles flashing now) but i guess u had certain charms. u were funny, and quiet at times, which made u seem quite mysterious to me. i was a silly girl, then. but i heard u're happily married now, so, congrats!:)
3. Mr. N: u were like a little fling i had. when i went to school, my attention went solely on Mr. I, but when i went to tuition with u, u spun my mind. i will always remember how u smiled at me sideways when i taught u modern math because u asked me to. how u always found a way to sit besides me at that class. i secretly took it as if u liked me talking with u. and u did, u told me. but then, u compared me to a few girls at school who were... um, let's just say, more feminine than i was, and i was a bit hurt when u asked me why can't i be more like them.., i'm me, i can't be nobody, but silly as i was, when u asked me to pakai baju kurung once, i went straight away to wear it the next week we had class. heh... u didn't know how my heart bloomed that night when u told me u liked the way i looked. that i should wear baju kurung more often. how r u now, really? i missed those jokes we shared at that class and that lingering look u cast upon me when we met at ur shop. i was speechless at that time, did u notice? but, if i c u again, i don't think i'll be dumbfoundedly speechless again... :)
4. Mr. S: heh, u got one hell of a story. it was just a one year crush (maybe a bit more, since i thought about u constantly when i was in college), but really, ur story is quite extraordinary. we met during orientation week @ matrix, we were in the same group and something u said about the topic given by the facilitator got me hooked. from that moment on, i started noticing our similarities. as tiny as the red straps for our nametags, the lucky coincidence when we actually wore uniform in the same color down to the fact that u're a leftie like me. i stalked u for a year at that matrix, did u notice? maybe u did, because of that phone call. that prank my roommates and i pulled on u and backfired when it turned out u were with a whole bunch of ur friends too, when i thought u'd be alone. we had a great laugh that nite. u had no idea how i rolled with laughter on the bed with my roommates that nite, it was crazy. but then, i was hurt the next day when u ignored me. i thought we became friends after that phone call, but i guess maybe u knew all along what it was all about, and u didn't want it. i get that now, although i didn't get it then. anyway, u too are happily married now, so congratulation! so sorry i couldn't make it 2 ur wedding, i wanted to go, u know, but well, sorry. :)
5. Mr. Q: i didn't know how or what or why, (or maybe i know why: u're freakingly handsome!) i thought about u constantly when i was in college. and i keep remembering only one thing. the first and the only time we met at my house (somehow, we're related, :(...) and how my mother grinned ever so broadly at u and kissed both of ur cheeks like u were some long lost son she had just found. and somehow, i liked u (i even thought i fell in love with u) because of that simple, out-of-the-blue action from my mother. i fantasized about u a lot when i was in college, but i kept it to myself, only telling one friend about u. it's sad though. i've never seen u again after that day u came to my house. i don't know anything about u, and still i could write a few poems and even attempted a couple of songs about u, heh! :)
6. Mr. H: i knew a few girls in class who had a crush on u, and i have to admit, u r handsome. and nice too. and then, u flattered me by saying u liked watching me. i was a bit surprised, but i took it in a good stride and made light joke about it. u laughed, watching me still. but, i guess, u wouldn't be saying that to me anymore since u too are happily married now. congrats!! :)
7. Mr. A: u were quite out-of-the-blue. i didn't even know when i started to like u. maybe the fact that we had the chance at that last semester of college to talk to each other, that i got to know u. we shared opinions like i never did with any other guy i've known so that difference kinda make me like u. and i told u, hah, boy, did i tell u i like u? yeah, i did and u replied thank u. i will remember those two words for the rest of my life. we're still good friends, though. i like that. :)
8. Mr. C: olalala, u teased me, A LOT. and with all those teasing and sometimes 'pujuk'ing (in such a sweet way of yours), which got us teased by our friends and seniors in return, i got badly hooked, i would say. and badly heart-broken too, in the end. because i belatedly knew that all those teasing and 'pujuk'ing around were just in the name of friendship. u already have ur special some1, whom u're about to marry. congratulation! i will always remember our laughing banters and devilish glances towards each other, though. that's one of the many memories i have of my friends that i don't ever want to forget. :)
9. Mr. MAN: funny, ain't it, i don't even know ur real name. u flattered me by taking my number from that registration book at the restaurant and i still have no idea how u knew my birthday. u puzzled me a bit, though. i still don't know what u want from all those messages u texted me. u were such a polite guy, never pushing me over the limit and i liked that. and i have to admit i liked the secret smiles u passed to me whenever i went to the restaurant. the last time i saw u, u seemed changed somehow. much more grown and happier. i guess, u probably have found ur happiness, ey? i'm happy for u, really i am. :)
10. Mr. G: here goes. u gave me gifts i didn't appreciate and u knelt to me in front of everybody. and still i didn't appreciate it. bad of me, huh? to that time u never actually told ur feelings about me but our friends teased me constantly about it, to the point that i began to hate it. and i didn't even know what it was, until recently. and i was touched, u know... i might give u chance, or i might not, it's really not in my hands to decide. it's all His doing, the Almighty. i might not be the best for u, and u might not be the best for me. only Allah knows what is best for each of His slave. let's just pray for the best and for us to improve ourselves in His Name to gain His Blessings, so that we actually deserve the best He has in store for us. shall we?
p/s: and that, i guess, ends this letter. for now. :)
with all my heart,
Hot And Cold (Bab 5) (Reedit)
10 months ago