Tuesday, April 6, 2010

brain without spinal chord...

i've been dying to write on this topic. and no, i'm not dead yet, so here i am writing on it... finally. this quote came to me from the second session of that clinical documentation workshop. yeah, yeah, sue me. everybody else was dribbling notes on how to perfect their clinical documentation (really got tired of writing those two words, now), i was busy collecting quotes from that penceramah. heh. whatever.
so, how did this quote come about?
well, the story goes like this: the penceramah was telling us a story on how when she was studying and attaching at the hospital, one doctor (or pharmacist, i couldn't be sure, now) said this to her, and i quote: 'pharmacist ni ada brain, tapi tak de spinal chord'. hm... anyone can interpret that? i give u ten seconds...
ten...
nine...
eight...
seven...
six...
five...
four...
three...
two...
one...
three quarters before one...
half before one...
a quarter before one...
zero!
hah! anyone got the answer? (devilish grin flashing now) :P
well, it basically means that we pharmacists have the knowledge (the brain), but don't know how or not brave enough to express it out (the spinal chord). smack u right on the head, heh?
come to think of it, it's true. really. at least, to me.
i mean, it's the stigma, i suppose. especially being a ward pharmacist, the experience of following rounds with doctors, especially good one and specialists, we the pharmacists got pretty tongue-tied and awe-strucked. the knowledge of drug interactions, side effects, potential harm, potential benefit, the effects on biochemistry, on physiology (or laymen's term, the effects on human body), on lab results should really be at the tip of our tongues, but when doctors asked us all we can do or in this case me was to smile sheepishly and said, i'll check and get back to you? and grin stupidly again. and furiously jabbing at our pda phone behind the doc's back. thank God for pda phone...
that was me a long time ago whan i was a ward-pharmacist, as i remembered with a shake of my head at that particular clinical workshop.
that workshop practically brain-washed me into realizing that ward-pharmacist is the branch of pharmacy that should be embraced with open arms, since it provides new role for pharmacists to be more recognizable. not just someone u see behind the counter thrusting countless pills at you. but for us to be that recognizable, is hard work. hard labour, is more like it. it's labourish work (is that even a word?) because you have to rack your brain with tremendous efforts to call back that knowledge previously imprinted in that big head of yours for four years and then hard work again to get that knowledge out of your system and deliver to people, or to doctors, or to whoever was asking. it's labour. and no, don't tell me they want to cut the critical allowance, because when i say labour, i mean it needs all the allowance you can give (devilish grin flashing again)... and no, they won't cut the allowance, don't worry... heh! yeah, wow. i did get something from that workshop, didn't i? i sounded as if i'm softening towards clinical pharmacist, eh? never thought that day will come...:)
em... er... maybe, i'm not that into clinical pharmacy... we'll see.. still have to collect more knowledge, though, and that is something i'm too, very, sangat, bangat la malas nak buat... devilish grin, again! :P
yeah, i do collect knowledge, ilmu tu ada di mana-mana, but now especially, i'm not that interested in collecting clinical knowledge. nothing whatsoever related with pharmacy. it's totally different.
so, to totally divert from the pharmacy topic... i know i've bored u to death with all those clinical terms...
this quote: 'brain without spinal chord' also applies to me in a very significant, personal way. to tell u the truth, pharmacist is not really what i want to be. not really my interest. it's just something to guarantee my future. dapat duit, gaji every month. solid income. my dream is a whole totally different story. i want to be something else. or, okay, someone else. and that someone else (which i haven't had the gut to tell u what it is, yet) requires hard work, hard labour to be too. and like the quote, i do have the brain now. yup, all those ideas keep spinning in my head, all those knowledge i've collected, only i haven't yet found the courage to spread it all out. i haven't found my spinal chord yet. the saying 'u've got to have spine' to show courage is ringing in my head rite now... it's basically the same thing, metaphorically.
so, yeah, maybe i am a brain without spinal chord, however hard i don't want to be it, i am. it's depressing, thinking about it, but i'm still gonna try. wish me luck on finding that spinal chord, ey? thank you. :)

2 comments:

  1. good luck dik...

    actually, this entry make me felt dizzy..uhh, but yaa..GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!

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  2. haha...memang baca2 balik, ada dizzy sikit.. entah apa2 je, eh?:)
    i miss melbourne...

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