Scared...

Time passes like it has no meaning,
I wait and watch it ticking,
Contemplating a reason, an excuse,
for feeling scared and misused

Don't get me wrong,
I'm not weak, just not strong,
Still on my way, searching for my heart,
Feeling scared of not finding, or losing it hard

I have it all, loving parents, siblings and friends,
But I cry for them, trying to make amend,
The injustice, I want it to end,
Feeling scared of not being able to mend

Longing for someone who doesn't exist,
Instead of love, I found hatred in the mist,
I cried the dreams away and harden,
Now feeling scared and heartbroken

Past scars chase me,
Present wounds break me,
I don't know what the future holds for me,
And so I go on feeling scared for me

Don't get me wrong,
I'm not weak, just not strong,
Still on my way, searching for my heart,
Feeling scared of not finding, or losing it hard...

Penned by Rodhiah Rahman, 131106
I wrote this poem back then, a long time ago in 2006, when everything seemed cloudy and confusing. I can't believe I'm actually living the fear again, right now.