this i quote from hitz.fm morning crew's last two days topic. it was still an interesting topic even though 2010 had only gone by half its journey. i was itching to call up and telling jj and ean about my end of the journey, but i doubted that i could get through and besides, i was driving at that time, so... heh... definitely no.
so, why was i so itching to call up? because 2010 had been so far an eventful year for me. in a good way. and reading that question now brings only one word to me: Alhamdulillah... :)
this year saw me travelling to not one, but two different countries, in not such a long period of working duration between those two, heh.
i went to the hectic superjammed Bangkok before all those chaotic 'war' happened, thank God. and i made new friends. i can even proudly say i have a friend in Bangkok now, whom i've met for only a few time in Bangkok and more time than i can count virtually on facebook. and despite the fact that we only had a few conversations face to face, we have more of them through the chat box. we exchange opinions on life, love (hers more than mine, heh, sorry angah!), work and sometimes we just exchange smileys. over and over and over again. something i don't even do with my best friends for so long now...hm...
i went to the peaceful Melbourne. well, the city seems peaceful to me. i mean, it is their strict rule for cars to stop to make way for pedestrians to cross the streets and their standard speed limit is 60km/hr. and u get a ticket sent to your home if you're driving even 2km/hr above that limit. huh? yeah... if that isn't peaceful to you, i don't know what is, considering the fact that drivers here in Malaysia think 60km/hr is lame (me, included, heh!). and i learn about Muslim bond there too, strangely enough, since Muslim is definitely a minority there. well, i guess when you're a minority, wherever you are, that particular spirit grows stronger. i'll never forget that girl who said salam to me there, the one i've told you about in previous entry, no matter how silly or remeh-temeh it sounds.
those two trips changed my perceptions on life. broadened my mind even more. well, it is recommended in Islam, anyway. go out, travel, bermusafirlah untuk melihat keindahan alam ciptaan Tuhan, Subhanallah... the nasheed Hikmah Kembara is playing in my mind right now... :)
when i got back, however, things were not so peaceful. turned out my colleagues were complaining about me. and their complaints had basis. i was (might be still am, here and there) harsh, and in a hurry and postponing my work (not anymore), surfing online instead (not anymore), and i was noticed. and scolded, ironically 'online' by a friend. it was definitely a wake-up call. it was good in a way, even though the scolding didn't actually come in what i consider 'good' words, heh. but, maybe i needed those harsh words to snap me back into focus. because i have to admit at that particular time, i lost my focus. i lost my interest in what i do for a living. i lost, what i've described before, the luster in my life. those words brought it back, however bitterly, and i'm still trying to remedy what i've ruined, insya Allah.
during that remedying (is that even the correct word?) period, i realized the reason for that lack of focus. i was jealous, hah! jealous of talks between young wives and young expectant mothers. how pathetic is that? i got over it now with Allah's help, Alhamdulillah. it's a slow process, still going, still having to hold back sometimes, deep down, but it's getting better. I am getting better. and that is something to say, isn't it?
whoa.. yeah, yeah, what a year, you say, now? heh, that was only halfway through, remember?
i even got a proposal of marriage (jokingly, i hope) on facebook by a friend. who also confessed that he had feelings for me for six years. and i ended up calling him a stalker. yup, i'm such a *&^%$. you might even ask, what the heck is wrong with me? a lot is wrong with me, i realize it now. trying to get rid of those demons away, one at a time. i pray they will be gone, every-single-day. but still, i'm really sorry that i can't be what he wants me to be. I just can't.
on a point other than personal, this year, or half of it, anyway, also saw me crashing my car, isk! my baby white chubby fronts needed a rearrangement, poor baby! it was quite a traumatic experience, even though i was outwardly calm about it, i still couldn't drive past that road. and it's been two months already. and guess what?
come on, strike a guess! come on!!
i crashed it again! there! hah! okay, technically, i just bumped it. it's my fault this time, i drove way too close to the car in front of me, and when he suddenly emergency-braked, my baby white 'kissed' the honda's butt. and again, its chubby front needed a small readjustment, poor, poor baby! what a clumsy, reckless owner you have, right baby? and you have been such a good car to me, i feel so awful! isk!
back to you, reader. can you guess when this happened?
come on, strike a guess! come on!!
it happened last two days when i was listening to this very topic on radio! hm... still think my half of 2010 not eventful enough?
Alhamdulillah, i was fine. a bit shaken and full of regrets, but i just drove on, not wanting to discuss anything. i was late to work that time, anyway. that teaches me a lesson, though. might be two or more. hm...
first: never, ever again drive within ten inches of the car in front of you, even though you're so confident he's not going to emergency-brake. because well, life is full of unexpected events, just like what i have restlessly told you, and thus, emergency-braking can hit you anytime, most likely when you least expecting it.
second: try, please try to drive within the speed limit. please.
third: don't go unleashing your anger to slow drivers on the right lane at your facebook status, because God can hit you anytime for being such a snob. and in any way He chooses too. there. that's the lesson i think which is most important.
because like i said on my previous entry, setiap ketentuan-Nya ada hikmahnya yang tersendiri. everything happens for a reason. and the reason here, is again, to wake me up. from being a snob. something i try so hard not to be again, and there i go, snobbying (is that even a word?) again. and Alhamdulillah, i take it that God still loves me when He wakes me up from it pretty quickly.
so, with all its ups and downs, peace and hectic, crashes and bitter burns, wake up calls and a snap back into focus, how do you say 2010 have been for me this halfway through?
with a smile, i say this: so far so good, Alhamdulillah... and will be good too the next half way and so on, Allah willing... :)
p/s: my parents do not know about the second crash, not a thing they want on their minds right now with my father's impending ijn appoinment. besides, i plan on taking care of it the day after tomorrow... so, hush...sshh... :P
Hot And Cold (Bab 5) (Reedit)
9 months ago